Wedding Blog
Our venue, The Fountainhead, requires that we use one of two florists. At first I was a bit miffed at this policy, but now I’m actually glad that we only need to choose between two florists rather than researching dozens and making appointments with several.
This past Saturday, we had our first appointment with one of the florists. I feel a little ashamed writing this, but this was the first time that I had met with a potential vendor without having done any research. 
I’ve never been a flower lover so I haven’t really thought about it much. The meeting became pretty comical while I mispronounced names of flowers and tried to describe certain flowers that apparently don’t exist. The florist ended up having to draw pictures for us due to our sheer cluelessness. Mr. Peony and I walked away from the appointment giggling a bit because we had both felt like complete morons during the course of the meeting.
So after this embarrassment, I decided to do more research into flowers. And then I came across an idea that sounded super: after the wedding, the flowers can be donated to a local hospital or a nursing home. How awesome is that?
But I had forgotten one thing. What all brides in my situation should fear and respect:
(image courtesy of Angry Little Girls)
Dum duh DAAHHHHH! The Korean mom.
Korean moms are notorious for stealing centerpieces. Ask anyone who’s been to a Korean wedding. In fact, whenever Mr. Peony and I are at a wedding together, he jokes, “You’re not gonna stay true to your roots and steal the centerpieces?” 
My mom, her friends, and my aunts are some of the worst of the bunch. At my cousin’s wedding, not only did they fight over the centerpieces, they also went for the balloon marquee and the floral archway that was set up for pictures. They ended up taking apart the floral archway while the reception was still going on so they could divvy it up.
So when I (very casually) brought up the idea of donating the flowers to my mother, she naturally freaked out.
“What do you mean we can’t take the flowers? That’s what they’re there for!”
I tried to explain to her that the floral arrangements are not intended to be taken by the guests.
“But what will I tell my friends? And your aunts?”
At this point, my father started to chuckle. He knows how crazy Korean moms can be so he tried to mediate.
In the end, we decided that my mother will inform her friends and my aunts that they can’t take the flowers with them if they’re leaving early (leaving the table empty for the other guests, which is what often happens).
Oh, well. I tried.
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Share this post: Les Fleurs et Les Meres
Best. Story. Ever.
Put locks on those babies. I have a feeling they’re gonna go missing!
at my brother’s wedding, the photographer not only left early, he jacked a centerpiece on his way out without even asking!! the wedding wasn’t even over yet!
holy cow! Better bolt those babies down.
I love Angry Little Girls!
haha thats hilarious.
my family isn’t korean, but they’re guilty of this as well 
but at least they wait until the wedding is over, haha
OMG same here!! I’m vietnamese and we do it too. So my florist was going to rent us the vases, but I was so worried about people taking the centerpieces, I told her I’d just buy the vases to be safe!
Have you looked into donating the flowers yet? I tried to research this and was told that nursing homes and hospitals will not take the flowers because of liability issues (i am in so. cal). So I ended up asking guests at the end of the evening to take them home, it broke my heart to see them all be thrown away at the end of the evening!
You crack me up. that was awesome. I think your idea is nice. Maybe you could do 1/2. The thought of people walking out with flowers BEFORE the reception has even ended! ha ha…..sorry, i do feel bad, great story.
LOL, this happened to us at our wedding… we did have rented vases and yes all of them were taken– along with the rented candlestick holders…
but “lucky” us, there was a blackout at our reception– so we used that as an “excuse” and said– all the craziness from the blackout people just left and we didn’t see who took what… I’m sure the candlesticks are scattered all over the hotel– people probably used them as flashlights!!!
Oh the horror! Luckily, the hotel offered to comp that for us, since they didnt’ provide us with light during the blackout hahaha!
filipinos are the notorious for taking home the centerpieces way before the reception is over. we’re crossing our fingers that it won’t happen at my sister’s wedding.
no one jacked our all carnations CPs. they looked fab, but i guess they weren’t up to our asian older women’s taste.
possible solution…
smartl - that’s why I can’t do anything rented! 
MissStar - I didn’t look into doing this because I had this conversation with my mom before I actually did more research. But from the article that I had read, it said that most hospitals/nursing homes will accept them if we can provide the delivery ourselves.
Everyone else - thanks! 
It’s good to keep a sense of humor through the craziness that is wedding planning.
HAHA! so true… i told FH that my family might do that and it’s a little embarrassing, and he said, “well, my family will probably all get drunk and start dancing crazy… that’s embarrassing. so we’re even.”
Oh I forgot to mention that the car ride home from my cousin’s wedding was pretty hilarious itself. Five people squished into a small car, flowers and balloons EVERYWHERE…. hahahah
I think stealing centerpieces is not only a Korean thing, but Asian overall! hehe
Wait - who says you are not supposed to take home the centerpieces from a wedding?? Unless specifically asked not to due to rented vases or whatever, I think it is accepted that centerpieces be taken home by guests. I scored a beautiful milk jug used as a vase at my MOH’s wedding, and gorgeous flowers that graced my bedroom dresser for a week or so.
You pay for the flowers and probably can’t enjoy them yourselves because you’ll be jetting off on your honeymoon.
Now, taking the arch apart mid-reception is a bit tacky and I wouldn’t want people stealing away with centerpieces before the end of the wedding, but come night-end, by all means, take! Actually, my centerpieces are tall and the glass vases they sit on will be rented, but the arrangement on top will be in its own more disposable pot easily detached from the bottom for people to take.
And BTW, I am not Asian. Not that that makes a diff, but I don’t think its an Asian thing.
it’s the same with my family, we’re filipino… but we’re playing a centerpiece game to determine who rightfully gets to take it home so there’s not fight over it. but watch out for your other items! mrs. bell pepper’s gorgeous candy buffet jars totally got jacked by the ahjummas! http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/07/17/professional-shots-the-details/
Funny!
Here I thought only us Latin people did that!
I warned my mother not to let her friends take the centerpieces because I fully intend to sell the tall Eiffel tower vases after the wedding to get some money back.
I can’t think of a way and I don’t want to make my table look tacky as my mother suggested I put a “please do not take vase, take only the flowers” sign.
What to do, what to do!
i agree with jonnie - it’s not just an asian - namely, “korean” thing. am i the only one who’s taken offense at this post? particularly, the cartoon associated with it?
ok, ok, it’s not only the ajumas that do this….i admit….i do this too. i guess i learned it from my korean momma. hehehe. but i LOVE taking the flower centerpieces from weddings. i love having the beautiful arrangements in my house the day after a wedding. at our wedding, we made sure everyone took the centerpieces home.
I’m not offended by the post or the cartoon. I love Angry Little Girls (the cartoon’s title).
Miss Peony, your post was hilarious!
Nah, the cartoon was hilarious! I am Chinese/Vietnamese and that is my mom too! Hahah! I can never lose weight around her!
Miss Peony,
I think the cartoon is funny and your post even moreso!
Never had the opp’y to go an Asian wedding (would love to see the elaborate customs I read so much about on WB). That said, each of the East Coast weddings I’m been to always have floral arrangements left on the tables after the fact. I guess the groups I run with (for lack of better term) always wait to be told if they can take the arrangements - and then, like I do, promptly forget.
Seriously, I’d be peeing my pants laughing watching your mom and aunts take apart the archway.
Thanks for a good mid-day laugh!
i didnt take offense but i do agree with your mom that the centerpieces are meant for someone to take home.
Haha, I thought it was just a general Asian thing. Maybe it’s a housewife/mom thing-lots of people love the free stuff!
Jonnie and Jane - I’m sorry if you were offended at all with what I wrote. It was written with a light heart and it never occurred to me that the cartoon can be offensive (because I’m a fan of Angry Little Girls and find it funny).
When I explained this situation to my non-Korean friends they told me that they never heard of centerpieces being jacked (let alone even before the reception is over) while all my Korean friends symphathised…. I thought it was a Korean thing but obviously, from reading all the comments, it’s not!
Hi Miss Peony Not offense here! I just think its your mom’s right to have a house filled with beautiful flowers after giving her daughter away. My mom feels its her god-given right. But then again, she wants to take home all the poinsettias in the office lobby after the Christmas holidays too!
Miss Peony: i totally relate to this post. 
i think we’re going to do a centerpiece game to determine who gets the flowers. Also, we’re borrowing the vases from our florist and need to return them to her at the end of the event, so whether it’s tacky or not, our emcee will have to make the announcement not to take home the vases!
Ha ha! Hilarious story! I don’t think it’s offensive at all. Everyone here (Hawaii) does it too; not limited to Asians…but we’re the most numerous!
My funny story: I spent HOURS carefully crafting mini lanterns (Chinese takeout boxes with the sides cut out and replaced with vellum and edged with Japanese washi paper)…we used votives in glass holders inside to light them. I fully intended for people to take them home with them (there were 3-4 per table), ’cause what was I gonna do w/ them after?! No one took any! You know what they took? These cute little glass tealight holders that I totally wanted to keep! Argh!
Suggestion for those of you in fear of stolen vases: Maybe you could do a giveaway (these are common here for all kinds of parties) — person on the table who’s traveled the farthest, birthday is closest, longest married, anniversary closest to the wedding day, etc. — and stipulate that the giveaway is for the flowers only, not the container, and have flower bags handy so the drippy ends don’t get messy.
Ditto Miss Eggplant above. We’re probably going to do some kind of game (maybe trivia since we’re big trivia buffs!), to determine who gets to take them home. That way there’s a “fair” way for people to score centerpieces, rather than the “first-person-to-yank-it off-the-table” method.
I’ve also seen people put red lucky pockets (”lai-see”) under the chairs to determine who is the “fortunate” one to get the centerpieces!
way too funny! fmil totally does the same thing and is so into our wedding having nice flowers so that the guests can take them off and “enjoy them for the whole week” afterwards hahahaa.
i can’t believe that thing about taking apart the floral archway!!! way too funny!!
I apologize to anyone who might have taken offense to my “asian thing” comment earlier. I am Viet myself, and think this is a very funny post
the guests are probably thinking flowers are too beautiful not to take home and enjoy! i was awarded a CP for helping out but by the end of the night, it was gone. someone stole my CP. oh well.
mrs. bee - i can’t believe your brother’s photographer took one! he’s a vendor and all. hehehe…
mrs. peony - is the cartoon about not wasting food? i’m not sure i totally understand it.
oops! i meant miss peony.
Tofu - what I posted is just one frame from a cartoon strip so it’s not meant to make sense by itself (although some people. like myself and Lindsey, can say that our moms are always asking us why we don’t eat more when they had no food on the table when they were our age, etc). I just chose this one because the mom from Angry Little Girls is so similar to my mom and this was the first archive cartoon I found with the mom in it.
My favorite ALG cartoon is where she’s like, “I bought you a gift,” and her mom says, “Why you waste money??” That is SO my mom.
I agree, centerpieces should be taken, but wait till the end of the night, geez.
haha! omgosh i have that exactly comic strip printed and posted on my bulletin board at work. i love angry lil girls too!
Some centerpieces have been taken at every wedding I’ve been to, Asian or not. In fact, my fiance has repeatedly warned me that his Italian aunts will be walking off with ours!
Taking apart the archway might be a little much, though :-).
i’ve taken home exactly 1 centerpiece and that was after the bride practically begged us too…which was good because we were scheming of ways to steal them anyway. other than that, i don’t really remember the centerpieces of the other weddings i’ve been too. though i did go to one wedding where one of the bms mother took home the pew decorations! and brought it with her to the reception and started moving in on some of the reception flowers mid-reception. that was funny. the bride, on the otherhand, was not as amused as the rest of us.
i’m not planning on having flower centerpieces at all so i don’t have to worry about pilfered vases…i’m planning on making cake stands and piling the favor boxes on them. my mom is sure to be disappointed. lol
OMG!! I actually witnessed this at my friend’s wedding. The centerpiece was a very TALL one and the “ahjumma” DURING dinner just took the centerpiece!!! The bride was in shock and a lot of non-korean guests jaws just dropped to the floor! LOL!!
Donating the flowers to a hospital i think is a beautiful idea~!
lol..funny story. glad this didn’t happen at our wedding. i am japanese and this is the first time i’ve heard of such a thing.
Tacky…tacky….tacky!
My friend gave me an Angry Little Asian Girl tank that has become one of my favorites. LOL….I had no idea that is was a comic strip too!! Gotta check it out!!
i got married at glen island and got stuck in the same predicament. we went with arcadia and ended up very disappointed. the sample centerpieces they showed us before the wedding were not the centerpieces the day of the wedding. there were hardly any flowers in the vases. so beware of them. also, the lady i was working with didnt even bother to come to look over the flowers that day. i was so mad i wanted to go talk to them about it but decided not to bc i didnt want to get into an argument. go with the other florist if u can.
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Mrs. Peony, New York
Age and Occupation: 27, Marketing Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, QA Engineer
Engagement Date: June 28, 2007
Wedding Date: April 18, 2008
Venue: The Fountainhead
Blogging Since: August 7, 2007
About Me: Both Mr. Peony and I are huge computer nerds, and our conversations usually consist of the latest gadgets, programming languages, and video games. At the same time, I can also be very girly with an obsession with handbags, makeup, and high heels. And art! I've studied studio art extensively, almost majored in art history, and freelance as a web and graphics designer. Mr. Peony and I are having a ball of a time planning a wedding for 250(!) guests, doing our best to infuse our personalities (geeky chic) with the wishes of our very traditional Asian parents.
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