Mrs. Tulip, DC
Age and Occupation: 36, Retired
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor
Engagement Date: August 8, 2007
Wedding Date: March, 2008
Venue: Still Looking!
About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
Engagement Rings: Love/Hate; Real/Fake?
August 30th, 2007 @ 11:32 am by Mrs. Tulip
Sometimes, the things we learn about ourselves while planning a wedding can be surprising. Mr. T and I are very early in the process, but already I’ve been surprised by my change of feelings on engagement rings.
In past years, I’ve always been the girl who didn’t want an engagement ring. The whole concept struck me as materialistic, and I’ve never been into diamonds. A friend wears a beautiful antique wedding ring that had always been my ideal, so I assumed I’d skip the engagement ring completely and find something vintage to wear as a wedding ring.
But then along came my betrothed. He believes in engagement rings, and nice ones. His theory is that the ring is his way of showing his love for me to the world in a tangible way. And who wants to argue with that?
To my surprise, as the search process moved along, the whole ring idea lost any potential for materialism and took on great meaning. We worked together to choose a style that appeals to both of us, the jeweler / maker was from the family of a friend, and Mr. T put large amounts of research, time, and effort into learning about diamonds and settings so he could design something beautiful. There was so much more to the process than just plunking down a credit card for the maximum number of carats.
By now, wearing the ring isn’t about the sparkly diamond (though it is sparkly!) as much as a constant remind of our deep affection for one another. And because of that, I love it so much I tend to think of it as something delicate and alive. I sleep in it and am loathe to take it off. There won’t be a chance to insure it till Monday, so poor Mr. T keeps suggesting I leave it home in the meantime to protect his precious investment – just in case – but I’m afraid it would be lonely and cold if it had to stay home without me!
Along those lines, it seems worth mentioning an option for inexpensive rings that one wouldn’t be afraid to wear in public…. OverstockJeweler.com and similar sites offer cubic zirconia (CZ) and sterling silver knock-off versions of popular high-end diamond jewelry. When I first lobbied to skip the engagement ring altogether, but Mr. T wanted to do a proposal with a ring, we looked into this site as an option to “fake” an engagement ring till it was time for a diamond wedding ring.
Apparently CZ rings are becoming ever more popular with couples faced with cash-flow crunches when first starting out. Some replace the CZs with diamonds later; others never do. (A recent survey on Weddingbee.com found that 1% of respondents had fake diamonds and planned to trade up at a later date, while 2% had fakes that they intended to keep.) CZ rings also can be a good option for people whose jobs would be too hard on fine jewelry – my stepmother, a dental assistant, wears a CZ – or as temporary fill-ins for travelers who don’t want to worry about their pricey diamond while on the road but don’t want to face a totally bare left hand.
Every photo comes from OverstockJeweler.com – from top to bottom: “Tiffany-esque” (love those knock-off names!) Asscher Cut, $44.99; “Bulgari Inspired” Past, Present, Future Set, $59.99; “Fred Leighton Inspired” Princess Cut Solitaire, $29.99; and “Cartier-esque Inspired” Baroque Round and Baguette Band, $59.99. The site also carries other wedding day jewelry such as earrings and bracelets.
11 Responses to “Engagement Rings: Love/Hate; Real/Fake?”
I think that is terribly romantic of your fiancé… Fiancé’s are great, aren’t they!?!
My husband gave me a silver & CZ ring as a placeholder when he proposed, so that I could choose the engagement ring I wanted. I thought that was very sweet of him–some online friend of his did it also, which is where he got the idea. His came from Amazon, and it cost about $25. It’s very pretty, many people thought it was real when I wore it!
We did all real for mine, but with a few tweaks. My dad is a jeweler, so FI was able to make sure the ring was personal and just right. On top of that, my center diamond was actually my mother’s. I love that it’s not just another diamond from who-knows-where.
tricia… my center stone was my mom’s and one of my side stones was my husband’s mom’s! 
FYI - CZ and lab created diamonds are not the same - and moissonite and lab created are not the same. You can get cheaper “Lab created” diamonds - and still have a diamond…
Although, if you are getting a non-diamond diamond sheerly for the moral reason of it you still need to be careful - many lab created diamonds are still cut by underpaid overworked workers…
[…] Quoted from: Miss Tulip on http://www.weddingbee.com […]
So, Miss Tulip (my favorite flower, by the way), are we going to see a close-up of your own engagement ring?
We actually opted not to have an engagement ring…mainly because we were both students, I didn’t care for diamonds, I don’t really like wearing rings, and the thought of someone sizing up my FI based on the beauty of my e-ring makes me upset. IMO, it’s just a ring…and believe me I’ve second guessed my opinion for the entire length of our engagement since people would be so astounded and surprised that we opted for no e-ring…and people have unknowingly made me feel bad about it and reacted with a gasp or and shocked/disgusted face. Some have even said that he should take out a loan to buy me one. It’s like he had to prove his love to to me, my friends, family, and co-workers and buy me a ring. But we’re married now with just a simple wedding band and that’s the one I wear mostly. My mother/aunt actually went out and bought a ring with diamons on it so I can wear it on the wedding day so people won’t “talk”. Way to make myself and my FI (now husband) feel horrible
I originally wanted a diamond alternative (CZ, moissanite, etc) but FH would not have it - He insisted that it was representative of how we feel about each other and couldn’t stand having it be something that is “fake!” We opted for an aquamarine (his birthstone and incidentally a common stone used for engagements in the past) in a modified Asscher cut. The stone is about one carat and we designed the setting (filigree) ourselves. I’ve gotten lots of compliments on it and it’s very beautiful! Really cool since it was well under 1K! Our jeweler was Christian Bernard in Georgetown.
Nice to hear there are so many variations on the engagement diamond tradition (which really isn’t all that old, by the way — it dates to about the late 1930s and was basically created by the diamond industry to sell more diamonds!).
Love the idea of using family heirlooms in a new ring. And Quynh, your aquamarine ring sounds beautiful — plus, how handy that you’ve already got your “something blue”!
My fiance proposed on the beach with his mother’s ring from her previous marriage (his father) I was disapointed that he didn’t even take the time to get the ring sized for me- but excited that he proposed finally after 11 years. (it was a suprise) When I had the ring sized they told me it was fake and the sizing would cost more than the ring was worth. I did it anyway. (even though the ring was ugly) It took me some time to tell him what I learned and he said that he was going to get a different ring before the wedding. No biggie.. I really do love him. So now that it is 10 days before the wedding and he wanted me to meet him at the mall to pick out a ring. We are on a very tight budget and I know we can’t afford anything of any value.. but it really broke my heart to have to pick out my own ring because I just feel like he put no effort into doing this- I planned the vacation where he first proposed.. I had to have the first ring re-sized myself.. and I had to pick out the replacement ring (there really wasn’t any choice in the matter- we HAD to get the smallest, cheapest ring there b/c we are paying for our entire wedding ourselves) Now he is upset that I am not showing any excitement about the rings. I just can’t bring myself to pretend I am excited b/c I want to cry about the whole thing everytime I think about it. I hate that I feel this way- I don’t know what to do!
