Wedding Blog
Performance is not my forte. Because you see, I’ve had terrible stage fright since the tender age of 5, when I participated in the dance recital that will live in infamy. During the annual talent showcase at my church, in front of an audience of more than 100 people, I fell off the stage mid-performance. There was a collective gasp throughout the auditorium, a split moment of silence, then my grandmother proceeded to run to the base of the stage, screaming her head off in an effort to make sure her baby was alright. My parents, in an act that is typical of them, took pictures.
My entire family still teases me about the incident to this day. And I just know that my sister will mention it in her maid of honor speech.
I’ve also never taken dance lessons. Perhaps that may have helped in my klutzy-ness, but while all the other little girls were off to ballet and tap lessons, my sister and I were deported to taekwondo (at least I got a second degree black belt from it). A couple of years ago, a friend had complimentary dance lessons at her birthday party. Everyone was shaking their thang, gracefully executing turns, flips, triple somersaults (okay not really but that’s what it seemed like to me) and whatnot while I proceeded to look like a total spaz. Mr. Peony even asked me, “Uh…babe? What are you doing?”
In addition to all this, I’m also not the most graceful person in the world. Okay I admit it: I’m a total klutz. When Mr. Peony and I first started dating it took him a while to get used to the sounds of CRASH! followed by “Oww!” constantly radiating from his new girlfriend.
So needless to say, I’m terrified of our first dance together. I wish I could really bust some moves like this couple on YouTube, but alas I cannot.
I know we don’t have to have a first dance at our wedding, but I really want to. And so Mr. Peony and I have decided that we will take some dance lessons together in order to ease my anxiety some. At the same time, I know that I will not turn into a dance sensation after just a few lessons, so I’ve been thinking of my options…
Then I came across some ads for adult ballet classes. Not only can I learn to be more graceful, it’ll also be good exercise before the wedding (I love, LOOVE ballet dancers’ bodies…the long sinewy arms and necks, the strong legs…ahhh). The one that seems like the best price at a convenient location is West Side Dance Project.
My questions for all you ladies is: has anyone else taken adult ballet classes? How are they? Do you recommend any other types of affordable classes for people like me (aside from yoga…it makes me sleepy)? Also, do you have any affordable recommendations for pre-wedding dance classes in the NYC area? Thank you.
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OH! That link of the dancing couple is my SIL and BIL to-be!
My fiance and I are also taking dancing lessons, so I feel your anxiety. It’s not an easy thing! We signed up for 17 private dance lessons and we’re on numero 6….We have a long way to go.
Lol, that’s a great story, though I’m sure it was traumatising to you at the time!!
I’m not sure that ballet classes will help you with your first dance. They might make you more graceful, but there’s pretty much no dance moves you could take and use in your first dance. I would suggest instead to take some sort of beginner’s ballroom dance class.
You might actually be able to benefit from yoga as well… I know what you mean about it making you sleepy, but you might just be taking the wrong class. The style of yoga that is heavy on the meditation and breathing exercises put me right to sleep too, but if you find one that is a “flow” type of yoga, you’ll be moving the whole time and there’s no way you could fall to sleep. It’s a good workout and always leaves me feeling great about myself. Just an idea!
i didnt take lessons (too pricey) but instead got a dancing dvd and let me tell you that there is a lot more to partner dancing than meets the eye!
right now we’re trying to perfect my spin, and my fella does it while we practice to ’show me how to do it’ and finishes with this jazz hands flourish thing that cracks me up every time. he doesn’t realize how goofy it is, the poor guy doesn’t even do it on purpose!
my point is, enjoy it. even if it isn’t perfect it’s your first dance and that’s a special thing. have fun with it and dont try too hard to be the best dancer. i know i wont be! but im really excited 
I’ve taken dance lessons since becoming an adult, both at Atlanta Ballet and an adult-focused dance studio in town (where they teach primarily adults, no kids.) Both have been great, and I’d recommend it, but I agree with smart! that ballet probably won’t help with your first dance, though it will improve your posture. As long as you’re moving and enjoying yourself, just about any kind of class is beneficial. My favorite has been bellydance, which also won’t help with your first dance, but will be beneficial later that night!
Hope you find somewhere in NYC!
Both yoga and ballet can help with balance and posture, which might help you overall in the long term. For short term results, practicing the actual dance you’ll do on your wedding day is the best way to make sure you’ll feel confident in front of all your guests.
Choose a style of dance that you’re comfortable with (even if it’s not flashy), and do it well. The key to looking good is having fun, and looking like you’re enjoying yourself.
Thanks everyone!
scsl - that’s awesome! All my friends are in love with this video! You should tell them (if they don’t already know) that they have a huge fanbase!
smartl and Palila - we will take ballroom dancing lessons as a couple starting a few months before the wedding. The ballet/yoga/whatever classes are for myself so that I can become more graceful, be more fit, and a bit little better prepared for the ballroom dancing lessons….hopefully. 
Like you, I am a klutz, complete with banging into things randomly (why are corners of tables so sharp?) I also tend to get anxious when I don’t know what I am doing, or feel that everyone is watching me. Needless to say, in the past, dancing has not been one of my favorite things.
My fiance and I signed up for dancing lessons at the beginning of the summer at Arthur Murray, and the experience has been nothing less than fabulous. Our package has 20 private lessons, plus group lessons on top of that, and we’ve had 7 private lessons and 4 groups thus far. The instructor is completely upbeat and cheerful, even when I have no idea what I am doing- instead of telling me “that’s wrong” she’ll say something like, “it might be a bit easier if you took slightly smaller steps.”
Ballroom dancing has turned out to be tremendously fun to the point that my parents have signed up to take ballroom lessons as well, and we want to keep taking lessons after we are married.
I started ballet in college (7 years ago…eep!), if it sounds like something you’ll want to do after the wedding as well, I highly recommend it. It will help you. You probably won’t learn any steps that you’ll be able to use in couples dancing, but here are some things you will learn (or that I learned) no matter what kind of dance you take:
1. How to start carrying yourself like a dancer
2. How to stop caring that people are watching - it’s very likely you’ll be dancing across the floor by yourself at least once per class. Eventually, you’ll get over it.
3. Balance - it’s all about learning where to put your bodyweight.
4. That everyone’s watching your FACE, not your feet - so SMILE! (I catch myself doing this at the ballet still, and I WANT to look at their footwork!)
That, and it’s fun. So there’s my 49 cents. Let me know if you have any particular questions.
don’t worry, i never took ballet or taekwondo as a child [even though i wanted to] and i still ended up growing up as a klutz. i figure, i may fall or run into something but at least i’m gonna try to look good doing it!
i do take yoga and that has improved my otherwise impressive balance [how i can have this great sense of balance and STILL be a klutz is beyond me]. smartl is right, take a yoga class that’s more movement than breathing [sometimes i swear the instructor is trying to kill me] and i only fall asleep at the end during the meditiation/cool down but that’s because i’m just tired from the day.
otherwise, just have fun. no one’s going to rate your dance!
We are entirely too similar! I fell off risers in the 5th grade during a chior concert and got stuck between the risers and the stage! So embarassing!
I’m also the most uncordinated person ever. A fact which has been pointed out by out theater director in every production.
I think you should take ballroom with your FI before the big event. Dancing solo is very different than dancing with somebody else and you’ll need to get used to working together.
New Dance Group offers a huge variety of classes from ballet, hip-hop, jazz, and tango and salsa for only $13 per class. (Less if you buy a package.)
http://www.ndg.org
I took my first dance lesson last night — it’s a package of 6 classes. I’m sure we’re not going to be superstars on the dance floor at our wedding, but I thought it would be nice to learn some dance basics since neither of us know where to start….
Now, aside from all this first dance business, I have to say that my first lesson was FUN! I really enjoyed it, a fun way to spend time with my guy, and it’s something we would never think to do otherwise.
I can’t recommend it highly enough. If anyone in NY wants to know about my new dance teacher (she’s great!) let me know.
the key to dance is to know that everyone watching thinks you look great, which will happen, especially on your wedding day. even people with weird body movements will look good in the audience’s eyes, as long as they are confident! taking ballet will be good to get you comfortable in front of strangers, and you should probably practice your wedding dance in front of people in order to build confidence.
If you’re already going to take ballroom dance classes together, and are looking for something just for you, for the future and for general health and balance and such, I cannot more highly recommend NIA, which stands for Neuromuscular Integrative Action. It sounds really high tech when you spell it out, but what it is is a blend of yoga, martial arts, and movement. It’s actually a belted discipline, like Taekwando, and is less about getting the exact steps right in a dance, than in feeling the movement with your body. I’ve been doing it for over a year now, and I love it. You can learn more about it here: http://www.nianewyork.com/
Classes are held at various New York Sports Clubs throughout the city, at the JCC, and elsewhere. Email me if you want to check it out!
And good luck!
LOL - You dance recital incident is my worst nightmare! No wonder you get stage fright!!! But im sure you will be nothing but graceful on your wedding day
jlb07 - who is your instructor in ny??
Hehe, you crack me up! I’ve studied ballet since I’ve been 4, thats 18 years-and I am the clumsiest person I know! I find bruises and get stumped on what I ran into because I can’t keep track of all I run into!
I’ve taught adult ballet classes in the past, and they are wonderful! Everyone has a great time, but if you’re looking for a “dancer’s body”, I’d suggest extra toning outside of class since we didn’t have the adults bouncing and jumping all around like the 10 year olds.
Her name is Sarah Billings. She teaches lessons in a dance studio in midtown (fyi - there will be other people in the studio, which made me uncomfortable at first, but actually ended up making me feel less pressured/focussed on). Her website is http://www.biljonsdance.com
(Warning - I’m a bit of a website snob, and there’s is not the best, but I really liked Sarah a lot and thought she was fun and easy to work with)
Hi Miss Peony,
If you do opt for yoga, there is an amazing flow-style class (I think it’s Vinyasa?) at Yoga to the People on St. Mark’s between 3rd and 2nd Streets. They are a great, not-for-profit studio, the suggested donation per class is $10. You can give more or less depending on your circumstances, and it’s an amazing class. http://www.yogatothepeople.com.
I’m lazy, of course, and haven’t been in a while, but I’m always so happy when I go.
Good luck!
Rebecca
OMG, Miss Peony, you have some of the funniest stories ever! I totally feel you, tho’ — and at least you can say you were DOING something when you fell. I, too, am a huge klutz, and also a former fainter. In elementary school, I was actually known as the annual-Christmas-pageant-fainter. Seriously. They assigned another kid to watch me during the program every year.
I think it’s awesome that Mr. Peony is willing to take dance lessons with you. I couldn’t get my guy to commit to doing it. He said he’d feel like he was in a dance recital. Boo! No pretty dance for us. But, as others have sad, it really won’t matter if you just do the dorky sway-shuffle-sway — you’ll be sooooo happy and smiley, that that’s all anyone will see! Good luck with the lessons!
i’ve always thought of taking adult ballet classes! not sure if i’d do it before the wedding because of time constraints though. we took some beginning ballrooom classes and that was a lot of fun. maybe that might help you as a couple more than the individual ballet classes.
I don’t want to sound like a downer about dance (ballet) classes, but I thought I’d share my experience. I tried a few adult dance classes and was totally intimidated, I actually felt worse afterwards. Looking at all the coordinated women spinning and jumping around made me feel like a true lump. I was much more comfortable doing African dance or more dance-y type cardio classes at the gym. I’ve done ballroom dance classes and those were FUN, mostly because there are a lot of other people there like we who couldn’t dance at all. I would just say with the ballet maybe try doing 1 or 2 classes before committing to a whole package if that’s possible.
I’ve taken ballet classes throughout my life and I have to say that it’s really hard but really fun! However, I do not think it will help you with partner dancing. Partner dancing is its own genre, and if you want to get better at ballroom — then you should be practicing ballroom specifically! The more you get used to dancing with your fiance, you’ll get used to placing your feet and breathing and etc. I guess I can call myself a “dancer” but partner dancing is TOTALLY a different thing!
The key is that you have to make sure you and your fiance feel comfortable, and just have FUN! No one is judging you so there’s no need to try making your dance perfect. I think if you think too hard about getting the steps right and feel frigid, it’ll just end up looking like you’re trying to be someone you’re not. Honestly if you mess up, who cares?! Just laugh it off and have a ball stepping on each others feet! By then you’ll be MARRIED! =D
If you’re nervous about your first dance, maybe you can just have a very light choreography- something that you dont’ HAVE to follow. Also, you can chose a really short song or just nod to the DJ to stop whenever you feel like the moment to stop has come. That’s what I’m doing anyway! =)
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Mrs. Peony, New York
Age and Occupation: 27, Marketing Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, QA Engineer
Engagement Date: June 28, 2007
Wedding Date: April 18, 2008
Venue: The Fountainhead
Blogging Since: August 7, 2007
About Me: Both Mr. Peony and I are huge computer nerds, and our conversations usually consist of the latest gadgets, programming languages, and video games. At the same time, I can also be very girly with an obsession with handbags, makeup, and high heels. And art! I've studied studio art extensively, almost majored in art history, and freelance as a web and graphics designer. Mr. Peony and I are having a ball of a time planning a wedding for 250(!) guests, doing our best to infuse our personalities (geeky chic) with the wishes of our very traditional Asian parents.
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