Wedding Blog
Last night I had a very telling dream. I was in a car with my future in-laws, Mr. Onion and my FBIL’s girlfriend. Mr. Onion’s father was driving, mother in the passenger seat and the rest of us in back. We were on the highway and driving very fast!All of a sudden Mr. Onion’s father got up from the driver’s seat (as if the car were big enough to do that all of a sudden) and walked into the back. I said “What are you doing?!” scared half to death as we were now flying down the highway with no one at the wheel. He said “Oh, this thing practically drives itself,” then he laughed and walked to the “back” (somewhere different than were Mr. Onion and I were) and I woke up so nervous I had to take a few deep breaths to calm down.
Pfew. Inhale…exhale….and repeat. My FBIL and his girlfriend actually got us this great aromatherapy product that was in my shower gift, so I took a few “hits” from this morning after I woke up from my dream.
OK now people — what does it mean? I came to the conclusion that it’s my fear of relinquishing control. That the speeding car [that is my wedding] will keep going with or without someone driving. I’ve been so nervous about all the little details. Not in the “Oh my god I don’t have a seating chart” way, but the, “Have I followed up with everyone, will I have everything I need packed, will the pull in my dress get fixed before I pick it up in five days (yes you heard me — something I’ve been remarkably calm about), when will I EVER print the menus, programs and OOT welcome booklets I’ve been saying I would do for the last two weeks, will my brother be on time, will my cousin (who is very sick) be well enough to attend…” way!
The funny thing is everyone keeps asking me and Mr. Onion the typical week before your wedding question — “Are you nervous?!” I hate this question. It’s akin to the just engaged question, “So, have you set a date?” and I’m sure as soon as we’re married it will be the just married question, “So, when are you guys going to have kids?” Well, no, the answer is no. I’ve never been so sure about something in my entire life as I am about being married to and sharing my life with Mr. Onion. So what is going on with the anxiety people? Any suggestions about how to come back to earth so I’m “all here” for my wedding?!
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Share this post: Fast and Furious…
Yoga! I find that an hour (or even 20 minutes) of focusing your mind exclusively on your breath and body movements has a really grounding effect. I was thinking that you might have a yoga mind when you mentioned the importance of “being present” over the next 10 days in one of your recent posts. My wedding is next April and I’ve already asked my favorite yoga teacher if she will do a special private session for me and maybe my girls too on the morning of the big day. Good luck! If all else fails, just take a few deep breaths every once and awhile!
I don’t think there’s any one thing you can do to relax… you have to find out for yourself what your mind and body needs… I say try doing something NWR something that both you and Mr. O enjoys doing on a regular basis to get your mind off the list of things you need to do… then once your mind is clear and you’re relaxed go for it and tackle some things off your list…
Just RECHARGE every time you get overwhelmed… afterall, though it’s one of the most important days of your life– it is just a day out of a lifetime you’re going to spend with Mr. O. So just ENJOY!
I so agree. We all hate those questions, so why do we ask them? My future grandmother in law has already completed the baby blanket for our un-conceived child. So I’m planing on the baby questions starting as we recess down the aisle.
I personally am not nervous about being married. But I think I’ll be nervous during the actual ceremony. Mainly b/c I feel awkward when I’m the center of attention.
I agree with ChicagoSarah. Yoga is great! I practice bikram yoga, and because it is so intense, you can’t think of anything else but breathing, and when you’re done, you feel so “cleansed.”
My husband and I had weird dreams the night after the wedding. My dream was that I was in a bad car accident with my husband but we came out unscathed. His dream was that a monster was chasing us, and we kept running to keep ahead and finally got away. We laugh over our weird dreams, but it really was a sign of relief that the wedding went off without any disasters! We also had crazy dreams leading up to the ending, but your mind does crazy things when all you’re thinking about is your wedding.
I know it’s all stressful, but keep reminding yourself the true reason why you’re getting married… and eventually, if anything goes wrong, you can shrug it off because you’re still marrying your man. 
What a great idea to do yoga in the morning on your wedding day. That would be the perfect way to start off the day relaxed and calm. My ceremony is at 5:30 pm so I’ll totally have time to do that with my girls!!
Miss Onion I think it’s probably just anxiety about the event itself running smoothly with no snags and maybe just being nervous about being the centre of attention. I wouldn’t take it to mean that it’s anxiety about marrying the wrong man - as you said, you’ve never been so sure of anything in your life. I think I’ll be nervous about the ceremony even though I know I love my guy and he’s right for me, just because marriage is such an important, defining moment in my life. Don’t worry too much
I am one of those who believe that our dreams are very telling about what is going on in our subconscious during the day. And I think you’re right to say this is a dream about control, having it, not having it, and being afraid of not having it. My guess is (and this is hard, since I don’t know you other than being a loyal reader) that you’ve been concentrating on staying calm - there are so many things to worry about that you’ve been making a real effort to focus your energy in a positive, productive direction. This is your brain telling the story of being afraid you’re losing control. I second/third the notion of yoga, if that’s something you’re into. If it isn’t, try a bath, or deep breathing (I know it sounds dumb, but just try to breathe deeply and clear your mind as much as you can for literally only three minutes. It will make a big difference). Then, once you feel at all better, be active about your to-do list. Even if it means staying up till 3am printing those programs, you’ll feel better if you’re *doing* something.
Lastly, Burlington is a wonderful, peaceful place. While I’m sure your wedding will bring its own load of chaos, try to take a minute to just breathe Burlington in. Good luck - and enjoy!!!
I think dream-FFIL had a very telling statement, “This thing practically drives itself!” No, really: it’ll all work out, I swear. You’ve already set things in motion, and the things that need doing will somehow, miraculously, it seems, get done. It sounds like you have wonderful, supportive family and friends (that’s why in the dream they were there with you for the ride!), so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
I wasn’t nervous about anything either, but I had wack-o dreams every now and then too. I had one that caused me to wake in a panic: we didn’t have flowers the very morning of the wedding, or they were really nasty. Can’t remember which. Anyway, they were the reception flowers (for some reason the problem didn’t extend to the personal flowers). Ready for the kicker? We didn’t HAVE reception flowers (in real life)! It was an outside wedding and we just had rose petals on the tables! Now how weird is that…I invented things to stress about in my dreams?!
You will have a beautiful wedding, I know it.
[...] wishes she could do. Well, I got a great gift at my shower called “arOmaremedy,” which I blogged about right before the [...]
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Miss Onion, NYC/Burlington, VT
Age and Occupation: 27, PR & Marketing and Jazz Singer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Data Analyst
Engagement Date: April 2, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: July 11, 2007
Venue: Restaurant in Burlington
About Me: I didn't think I'd be "that girl," but I am having so much fun planning our wedding (mostly by myself). I'm a PR and Marketing Director for a major jazz festival and camp by day, and by night, a romantic jazz singer and bride-to-be! I hope all my research can help other brides in their planning.
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