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Mrs. Tulip, DC Age and Occupation: 36, Retired Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor Engagement Date: August 8, 2007 Wedding Date: March, 2008 Venue: Still Looking! About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
About Mrs. Tulip

The Dowry

August 31st, 2007 @ 2:09 pm by Mrs. Tulip

My parents more than approve of Mr. T, but we discovered that my father is the old-fashioned type when it comes to engagements. Like, really old-fashioned — he demanded three cows as a dowry in exchange for my hand! Every time we brought up our upcoming engagement, Dad would say it couldn’t become official until he received his three cows….

Well, as with all problems in life, I turned to Ebay for the solution. I picked up this winning trio of ladies for $1.00 ($5 after shipping):

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(The cows enjoying their new life in Iowa — photo vignette courtesy of Dad)

The dowry transaction was accomplished during my parents’ visit in July, and Dad pronounced himself satisfied.

But before my parents arrived, my roommate quite rightly reminded me that I couldn’t pay for my own dowry. So Mr. T bought me a latte at our favorite Capitol Hill coffee shop to repay my investment and make the cows properly “his.” A lot of strange deals have gone down on Capitol Hill over the years, but I think I can say with some confidence that the Dowry Latte was a first!!!

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28 Responses to “The Dowry”

1.
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sarahdoo (message)  87 posts, Worker bee

hah, thats crazy!

 
2.
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pinkz

Hahaha!! That is too funny!

 
3.
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sally

i think i love your dad.

 
4.
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Jennifer

i second sally

 
5.
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cc

Hilarious! Your father sounds GREAT!

 
6.
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Lori

That’s awesome!

 
7.
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Miss Tulip

Shh, you’ll give him a big head! ;-)

 
8.
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KDN

Your dad sounds like my dad - LOVE it!!

 
9.
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HACB

Great story!

 
10.
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Chrissie

Your story is kinda cute, but I can’t quite tell if your dad is joking around or not. If he isn’t, I wouldn’t have encouraged the sexist idea that your hand is his to give.

 
11.
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smartl (message)  543 posts, Busy bee

Oh come on Chrissie - he accepted three $1 cows off of Ebay as the ‘dowry.’ How serious can he be?!

 
12.
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Samantha

When my fiance and I were in the prelims of deciding to get engaged, my father said the same thing, too funny.

 
13.
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jenniferb (message)  168 posts, Blushing bee

My FI provided my father with a goat as my dowry! We did the same thing, found a little toy goat and sent it to my dad! I think my father would feel slighted if I told him your dad got 3 cows! Jeeze, my man got off cheap!

 
14.
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Sara

Awesome! Your family sounds very fun.

 
15.
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aoedorothee (message)  248 posts, Helper bee

that’s sooo funny!

 
16.
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Lori

Well, technically - a dowry is money (or in this case, livestock) that is given to the groom’s family by the bride’s family. This is typically done in civilizations where the population is too high, thus the value of a woman is lower. If these society’s, having five daughters you have to pay to “get rid” of costly - those are the ones normally plagued with female infantcide.

On the other hand, there have been society’s - usually where the population is low - where the groom’s family must provider a dower to bride’s family. Because the value of a woman is so high, the bride’s family seeks compensation for their loss.

So…all notions of fertility aside, to be offered a dower of three cows represents the high value of the bride.

All of this dorkiness comes from my total love my college cultural anthropolgy class. :-)

 
17.
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HamiHarri

LOL - too funny…

 
18.
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May '08 Bride

My father did the same thing, only he asked for two cows and a goat. I’ve been told (since I wasn’t there) that the conversation went down like this. Dad: “What’s in it for me.” FI: “Well… what would you like?” Dad: “Two cows and a goat.” FI: “Seriously??” Dad: (laughing to hard to respond)
However, the story was relayed to me as “two cows and a donkey”!!! Poor guy. My FI was so nervous when he asked my parents for my hand, that he miss the humor of it all!

 
19.
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Miss Tulip

Go, Lori! Thanks for the tutorial — I feel so much better informed!

 
20.
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triciaj (message)  257 posts, Helper bee

Maybe I’m feeling a little blonde today, but Miss Tulip, are you actually from Iowa?…

 
21.
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rzblna

Gee, a $5 latte would be pretty expensive, even by Starbuck’s standards. I think FI still owes you money.

 
22.
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Miss Tulip

Gee, let’s see, I think I’ve mentioned NC, NJ, NYC, DC, and a couple of foreign countries so far, maybe Tulsa … why would Iowa be confusing?? :-)

Actually, I’m from *Wisconsin* and lived there through the end of college. (Go Badgers!) But then I discovered that it’s just not that cold anywhere else, and for me that settles the issue of whether to go back on the “no” side. Otherwise I love the Midwest and would probably settle in Minneapolis/St. Paul in a heartbeat.

My parents divorced and remarried when I was young, and my dad and his family live in Iowa.

 
23.
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triciaj (message)  257 posts, Helper bee

I couldn’t agree more with the cold. My FI and I are both originally from Des Moines, Iowa and are living in Seattle now. Escaped while we still could. ;)

 
24.
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k

Miss Tulip!!! I am so excited that you love the Twin Cities. We totally need a Twin Cities bride on Weddingbee!
(I’m a MPLS suburbanite)

 
25.
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kp

haha. dowry latte. cute story!!
your father is cute, and clearly that cuteness & humor has continued to you! - ebaying cows?!! i love it!! :D

 
26.
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Fal

I hate to nit-pick, but the thing Lori forgot to mention is that when the groom/groom’s family gives something to the bride’s family in exchange for the right to marry her, it’s actually called a brideprice, not a dowry. A dowry is something that the bride’s family gives either to her or to the groom’s family; like Lori said, mostly as extra incentive to take her off their hands. A brideprice actually shows a lot more respect for a woman’s value, since it’s meant to compensate the bride’s family for her loss.

All nitpicking aside, that’s a really cute story! And I’ve been meaning to say, You Go Girl! The world needs more white girl+asian guy couples.

 
27.
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Keely

Hee - my mother asked for similar - a goat. Future hubby sorted it out by buying a goat from oxfam unwrapped - so my mum got a lovely certificate re. “her goat” and hopefully some farmer in Africa is enjoying some goat milk right about now.

 
28.
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Miss Tulip

Ooh, Keely, what a great idea!!! Mr. T. gave his parents geese and rabbits last Christmas through Heifer International (www.heifer.org), but we never once thought of something like that for “the dowry.” Love it!

 


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Mrs. Tulip Mrs. Tulip, DC Age and Occupation: 36, Retired Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor Engagement Date: August 8, 2007 Wedding Date: March, 2008 Venue: Still Looking! About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
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