Weddingbee Blog

Part I: Location, location, location! 
Part II: Family Matters
Part III: Get in in writing!

Part IV: All the Best (The Conclusion to the Story)

I was just about to head to bed that night, when my cell phone rang. It was FMIL.

She sounded very excited. It turns out that after she had gotten home from work, she thought some more about what I said. She said that she knows I would rather have the reception at a hotel, so she had called around and actually found another hotel that has both a Chinese and Western catering department. She apologized for calling so late, but she wanted to share the good news with me right away, and let me know that she would call them immediately the next morning to try to set something up.

I was completely humbled. I felt like this was a breakthrough (she had actually heard me). Plus, I was in the middle of feeling so frustrated to the point that I was just going to do things my way and stop making compromises, so I felt pretty guilty. The next couple days, she called me several times, giddy with excitement about all these details. I began to realize that she was so excited about this because she just really wants us to have a special, beautiful and unforgettable wedding, and that she was doing all of this for us.

Over the course of the next few days, we ironed out the details and by the end of the week, we had put down our deposit and signed a contract with the Westin Bonaventure. The all-in cost was a little bit more than what the Hilton cost, but for the value of what we were getting, it was a much better deal. The staff was very responsive, the ballroom was beautiful, and we loved the feel of the hotel.

A couple weeks later, Mr. D and I went down to LA to visit. We were all in good spirits, since working through that fiasco had brought us to more of an understanding. But then, FMIL began to mention photography. Uh oh. As I mentioned previously, photography was our one area we would refuse to compromise. The good thing was that Mr. D and I had already booked Scott Robert by then, so I kept reminding FMIL that we already booked this amazing guy. Nonetheless, she still kept mentioning that we would shop around.

After consulting with some of Mr. D’s cousins, we found out all of their cousins who have gotten married have had to go with Chinese wedding photography. These tend to be glamourshot-looking wedding photos taken at a studio in full-out wedding gear prior to the wedding, so that a large portrait and album can be displayed at the wedding banquet. It was a tradition in their family, so it looked like there was little chance of getting out of it.

The next day, FMIL took a day off work because she wanted to take me and Mr. D photographer shopping. Apparently, there is actually a “Chinese wedding photographer’s district” in Rosemead, outside of LA. We visited several photographers, and tried to say that we were OK with saving money and going for the smaller package, but FMIL insisted that this was something that was going to be so precious to us in the future and we needed to get a big album and two large portraits (”one for the living room and one for the bedroom”). And then she began to share with us about how wedding photography is so special and how this is the one thing she wished that she had gotten when she was married.

It was one of those moments when you begin to realize that they just really want the best for you, want you to have what they couldn’t have. It made me think about how both my parents and Mr. D’s parents have just constantly done just that…how hard they work so that we, their children, can have more opportunities and luxuries that they only wished they had. Both my parents and Mr. D’s parents…all of those things they do is out of what they believe is in our best interests, what they think is the best for us. There may be moments when we disagree on what constitutes as “best,” but it is all out of a sacrificial love for us.

In the end, Mr. D and I decided to set up a time to take Chinese wedding photos, in addition to having Scott Robert at our wedding. It will be some more money out the door, but we felt like it would be a small price to pay relative to how much it meant to FMIL. We are still working out how to best work with her, but now that we have reached a better understanding of one another, it is beginning to get easier to speak up and share ideas. Truly knowing that her intention is out of love for us as opposed to any kind of self-interest has helped us in our approach to each situation.

So whose wedding is it anyway? Yes, it is the Daffodil wedding…but what we are learning is that it is much more than just our special day. It is just as meaningful and special for the community of people who have seen us grow, nurtured us in our walk, and loved us throughout the years. It is the reason why they want to be involved, why they worry about the details, and why our faraway friends will go to great lengths just to be there…so that on our special day, it will be the perfect day indeed.

The end.