Weddingbee Blog

With all of the invitations out and (mostly) received, we’ve started getting the unwanted phone calls: “Hey, Miss Kiwi? I was just wondering if you guys invited *****?” “Hm. I’m going to have to tell you no. We didn’t invite the girl your mom went to school with 15 years ago.” Now there is a new circumstance about inviting someone who was never on the list.

My FMIL and I worked for hours addressing all the invitations. The guest list was set and run by all important members of the bridal party. Names were tossed about, some were dropped, most were agreed upon. So why did my FMIL call and ask if we’re inviting my FSIL’s husband’s sister and brother in law? After discussing the basic familial guest list for the Save the Dates, their name was mentioned by Mr. Kiwi’s sister (and MOH). We quickly vetoed as we’re already inviting MOH’s MIL/FIL.

Months ago, when we first told my matron of honor that we aren’t inviting her SIL, she was fine with it. Now that the invitations are received, why did we get phone calls asking us to please reconsider inviting the SIL and hubby? When I asked FMIL why she’d like us to invite someone we haven’t seen for literally over a year, instead of say… friends, she said it was so MOH wouldn’t get yelled at by her MIL for us not inviting her daughter.

Since when is it our job to use our wedding to keep the matron of honor’s relationship with her in-laws good? When I said no, FMIL called Mr. Kiwi and gave him the major guilt trip. “Help your sister!”, she said. We’re already going above and beyond by inviting her mother and father in law, how can we be expected to invite her sister in law?

Mr. Kiwi told his mom he’d talk to me about it. See, if it was just a matter of inviting them, it’d be fine. No, inviting them is like inviting the cattiest, bitchiest girl from your high school. I feel bad for my MOH, as she is always getting backward insults from her in-laws. They are so insulting to her and to Mr. Kiwi’s family, saying things like, “Oh, I hope your kids don’t ALSO have weight problems.” I can picture the SIL/MIL huddling together to insult me, since I know they do it- and that makes me angry. I don’t want to have to be on my guard at my wedding!

In the end, we’re still slightly up in the air about it- it’s not our job to insure her family relations are good. On the other hand, FSIL’s husband (the brother and son of the catty pair) has never been anything other than nice to us. Most likely we’ll invite the SIL and her husband, but we won’t like it. If she dares to mutter a thing about me, or any member of our families, I have no problem stalking over there in my heavy dress and kicking them out.

Have you been bullied or guilted into inviting someone you wish you didn’t?