Wedding Blog
Our hoped-for reception venue is tiny, so Mr. Tulip and I are finally getting serious about making an invitation list for The Big Day. And I have discovered that, on my side of the equation, there are roughly sixty adults with THIRTY children! (Mr. T’s side has ONE child!) Apparently, my friends and family are a fertile lot….
My cutie nephew, Gaige. (Sadly, he lives 1,700 miles away from me…)
Children rarely enter the world that Mr. T and I inhabit. Perhaps because we live in an urban area with terrible schools, or go out relatively late at night, we rarely even see them in public. So I originally assumed there wouldn’t be any at our wedding. They just don’t cross my brain, as a general rule.
But when Mr. T and I actually talked about the issue of kids at the wedding, we considered that our goal for the wedding is to bring together the people we care about, and this means we want to celebrate with their entire family. Plus, it’s not convenient for people traveling from out of town to go out for an evening without their children. And lots of the people at the wedding will not know one another, so it could be handy to have cute kids as an icebreaker. The more we thought about it, the more including the kids became a no-brainer.
So, the kids are in! As a frequent wedding blog reader, I’ve seen many suggestions for gift bags full of toys and entertainment, and that’s what immediately came to mind as the major kid-readiness adjustment. (A fave recent suggestion was Brooklyn Bride’s advice to browse Martha Stewart’s Kids for ideas.)
Fabric scrap favor packs from Martha Stewart Kids
But as the process goes on, more and more other issues pop up out of nowhere…. People responded to this weekend’s Chicken Dance post by pointing out that fun dances are good for drawing in the kids. Hm, kids and dancing? And the catering manager at our maybe-venue mentioned that they have kid-friendly menu options. Because, as she put it, “a side of cured salmon is tasty, but not the easiest thing to get a 3-year-old to eat….” Kids and food? … You mean, I can’t just give them a cute gift bag and consider it done? I’m so confused! Who are these little people??!?
Do you have any good tips for integrating little ones into a wedding?
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I’m looking into hiring a kid entertainer for after dinner. We too have a lot of kids–22 under the age of 5 and even a few months-old babies! I plan on having an activity station within the room or there is a side room that we may turn into the kids’ HQ with TV, coloring books, toys, etc.
Our space is small, so we have the same issue. Plus, my FH’s parents don’t understand weddings to be kid-friendly. FMIL’s reaction: What, you mean, people WANT to bring their kids out at night?
And then on my end of the spectrum, I have a few cousins who would be offended if they were told their kids would be regulated to a kids’ room with a sitter.
You can’t please everyone, right?
But like I said, our space is smaller than most ballrooms, and has a small room adjacent. Now we have a great excuse for having a kids room, so hopefully both sides will be understanding. We’re going to suggest parents drop their children off at the reception site pre-ceremony (only a few blocks down the street) and then we’ll releash the children after our formal dinner is served, so they can participate in the dancing. No chicken dance though!
A wedding I recently attended had a side room that had coloring books, crayons, a tv and DVD player to keep the little ones happy. (Happy kids=happy adults) It might be a good idea to hire someone or ask any pre-teen guests to help out by monitoring the room.
I stopped by Target when they put all their school supplies on sale. I bought 15 boxes of crayons for 8 cents a piece, and some clear plastic pencil cases for 35 cents each.
My fiance and I are both illustrators, so we are going to each make coloring book pages, and bind them together into a coloring book. I also plan on including candy, and I was thinking of giving them all a disposable camera too. Then at the end of the night, collect the cameras and get the photos developed. I think it would be a great perspective!
I have three nephews that I am very close to, so I cannot even imagine having a reception without kids! I don’t think they need to be stuck in a different room, but I just plan on giving them things to entertain themselves with.
My rule was no kids under 5. I had a kids table with wedding related coloring books and activity pages.
But I did not want toddlers or babies running around or crying.
Ha, Michelle, I assume “releash the children” was a typo???!?
(’Cause I assume during the dancing is when you’d want them OFF leash…. Unless you’re worried guests would trip on them if they’re running around?) 
I was actually at a wedding where people were tripping over kids on the dance floor. They were a little out of control. That was the fault of their parents, however, not the bride and groom.
The disposable camera idea is a good one. I think that just having some other kids around for them to play with is key, too. They can entertain each other pretty well.
I would suggest hiring a babysitter at your venue for the ceremony. The instance that formed the basis of my no-kids-at-my-wedding stance is the wedding of my cousin, who had a ton of little kids invited. They got bored about 5 minutes into the ceremony and yelled and screamed so loudly we couldn’t hear the vows. I imagine you would want to avoid this scenario, so have someone appointed to entertain kids if they get a little rowdy, so they don’t disturb all your other guests.
Then they can let loose at the reception 
Serve kids meals (bonus: they tend to be cheaper. Mac n cheese or chicken fingers are usually big hits) and have colouring books at the table (also fun: plain white paper tablecloths so the kids can draw right on the tablecloths). And yeah - kids love to rip it up on the dance floor!
We went the no-kids route, but my cousin didn’t. She had her brother, who’s a professional magician and ballon-animal-maker (he makes more than animals…anything you ask for, really) entertain the kids. BUT something valuable that taught me: unless the kids are in a separate room, whatever you provide to entertain them should be soundless. There was one child who kept twisting her balloon until it popped…both actions were very loud and annoying. Something to consider if you provide toys or games.
Most caterers do have a kids meal option, of chicken nuggets, or mac and cheese. Definitely investigate that. I had both a wedding cake and a huge tower of cupcakes–the pretty colored cupcakes with flowers on top were a huge hit with the kids (and my dad.) For one thing, they don’t want to wait for the official cake cutting, they want dessert *now.* So letting them have a cupcake is a great way to keep them happy. And if you’re specifically getting them for the kids, mini cupcakes would be a really good idea. Less of a sugar high.
I went to a wedding and they had a kids table, and tons of crayons and those like butcher paper tablecloths for them to draw and color all over the table and then just tons of neat goodies, there was no white space by the end of the night. Of course many of the kids just enjoyed dancing and running around chasing each other most of the time. I remember one wedding i went to as a child (maybe 10) where we just danced in the corner because we didn’t want to get in the adults way. It might be nice to have a open space somewhere like a corner where they can have their “active” space too…
As already mentioned having a babysitter or teen family member watch the kids, having coloring books, toys, videos etc in a corner is a great idea… but these are your family and they should be involved too!
The chicken dance and other kid-friendly dance songs are a great idea… parents will love to get out on the dance floor with their little ones as well and it’s a great photo op.
What about a mini bouquet-toss or fun games just for the kids as well?
If you are going to have a lot of kids I would think about having a celebration that ends early. If not, then think about having a hotel room with a babysitter for kids to get trucked off to once it’s past their bedtimes for slow activities until they fall asleep so parents can party without worrying about cranky kids or getting kids to sleep.
Yes, I meant release, not release, though maybe that gives away what I really think about the issue….
I never thought about not having kids until my cousin’s wedding in June. My cousin’s sister (my step-cousin actually) decided it was a good idea to change her toddler off to the side at the reception instead of taking him to a bathroom. He proceeded to get loose and run naked through the entire room. Cute for some, not so cute to others. I also should mention my step-cousin was a bridesmaid. It was a sight to see her trying to change her son’s diaper in that get-up and then chase after him. Some people just don’t get it.
get someone to help reign them in (maybe a few people– that’s alot of kids!). I think that will be key.
decide how you want to feed them–at a kids table or with parents. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. Kids together are removed from any drinking and other kid-unfriendly stuff that can go down at a grown up table. Also, at the last wedding I went to where kids were all at one table, they didn’t have a child wrangler and they all started making noise and fooling (loudly) around during the speeches.
yes i think parents will want to have fun with their kids, but lets face it, not all of them will want to all of the time, so having babysitters is good for them too– not just you.
activities– I have seen the drawing table thing like QuirkyParsnip was talking about, and that works well. I went to a wedding where they had lots of borrowed Nintendo DS systems, and the kids were on those, in a corner, most of the evening.
dots raises an excellent plan though– depending on when your wedding and reception are, you might want to think about having a place with a sitter where they can crash!
We had a separate kid’s craft table. It had tattoos (unfortunately the 75 I bought wasn’t enough, I saw a kid with 5 tatoos on them so not every kid got one). We had these foam sheets with seperate foam stickers and markers (washable). We also got cheap glow in the dark necklaces from the dollar store and the kids couldn’t wait until dark.
Having children welcome at our wedding was a no-brainer for us (I have a 7 year old myself). We are going to have a separate room at our venue (we are the only event there) with one of the licensed aides from my daughter’s school supervising a “day care” of sorts. We’ll have a tv/vcr combo and movies, coloring/crafts, snacks, blankets/pillows, etc.
We invited all kids and left it up to the parents whether to bring them or not. It was about half-and-half: Bring the kids for a family reunion vs. leave them home and have a romantic night/weekend away with the open bar and band. We provided no special entertainment/activities for the kids, and it was no problem whatsoever; parents watched them and the cousins were playing together. Many were dancers, just fascinated by the band. So all worked out fine.
Tips RE the caterer:
1. Negotiate a zero (or low) bar tab, because KIDS CAN’T DRINK ALCOHOL. There’s a very strong argument that they shouldn’t be charging the open bar rate for anyone under 21.
2. About 50% of kids were no-shows (sick, school, sports, birthday parties, didn’t feel like coming, whatever), so round down a significant amount in the final head count for the caterer.
3. High chairs & booster seats.
4. CHICKEN DANCE!!! (hee hee)
At my wedding, I had travel sized magna doodle toys with a little saying that read “We’re so glad your children are here, please use this toy as our “I DO”s drawn near” and the ushers passed them out to anyone with children. At the reception, which was outside, I have my grandmother’s quilt laid out on the grass with small toys and animal flashights. Both sets of toys I bought from little tikes on sale about 4 months. They were a huge hit especially when it got dark and the little ones could use the flashlights and the parents got another hour out of it. I did not have kid friendly food but chicken is chicken so the kids ate.
People bring kids to weddings all the time. They usually provide entertainment on the dance floor for the guests too…
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Mrs. Tulip, DC
Age and Occupation: 36, Retired
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor
Engagement Date: August 8, 2007
Wedding Date: March, 2008
Venue: Still Looking!
About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
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