I think the post office may have gotten wind of my distrust for their system. Invites went out on August 31, and so far we’ve had only 15 RSVP cards sent back, out of 94 invites mailed. Amazingly enough, as of last Saturday people still hadn’t received their invitation yet. How is that possible? So while I know some brides bemoan their lack of responses, I’m actually wondering if people have received the invite!
An RSVP we received yesterday was thoughtfully dated on the back (thanks Jen!): 9/4/2007. I didn’t get it until the 10th? What on earth? I suppose now I’m a little more anxious about receiving our cards back, as we’ve invited 188 people (some of those were courtesy invites sent to guests we know can’t make it), with at least 7 for sure who won’t be able to come. We are hoping for 150 (give or take a few) guests, and with the whole “assume a certain percentage won’t make it” idea, we don’t know if the over-inviting was a mistake.
Perhaps it was stupid inviting 37 more people than we can seat. Okay, technically we can fit a lot more, but we’ve only bought things for 150 guests: centerpieces for 15 tables, favor boxes for 150 people, our CAKE is only ordered for 150 people. 
At this point I realize I’ve made a few wrong decisions about who to invite. Some people I’ve seen since the invitations went out, and I think, “Oh god, why did I invite them?” People are calling and asking if they can bring someone else, because it’s “really only just one more person.” Really? Just one person? So that person wouldn’t mind being seated at a table by themselves, if they happen to be that one person over.
Sure, I’m totally overreacting and over-dramatizing, but you brides (hopefully) know what I mean. In fact, of our first batch of responses, we actually received one with “John Doe *Guest* ” written on it. What? Your name ONLY was all over the invitation, but you still decided to add a guest? Judging from his attendance at Mr. Kiwi’s sister’s wedding, I’m sure the guy doesn’t even know who he’s bringing (as he brought a cousin no one knew). Is it wrong that it made me mad?
Mr. Kiwi and I have finally decided our stance on the guests we don’t want, and I’ll blog about that later, but let’s just say that it seems this invitation thing is driving me insane. I just keep telling myself: in 55 days I’ll be on a plane to Vegas, hubby in tow, celebrating my 28th birthday. Breathe, Kiwi.
If it makes you feel any better we invited 167 and we only have 120 people attending. So there is hope, but in the interest of full disclosure we are having a Sunday evening wedding. Good Luck!
I hate people. I think it is rude and inconsiderate. Definitely call that person and say you simply cannot accomodate their plus one.
We invited 125 originally…then added another 22 invites after people declined (or didn’t bring guests). In the end…
103 people. That includes us. It was a 46 person decline.
Ugh..I know how you feel. I still have people who have not RSVP’d and the date was back on August 27th! We invited 175 and only 110 are coming. I am still getting some back but it’s like, hello, the date was 2 weeks ago! These people are not coming but still..just put the envelope in the mail. I have some adult relatives who have simply not sent theirs back..whether they are coming or not..it’s just so rude to not even let us know.
We’re actually in a similar predicament, and our invites will be going out on Monday (God Willing!). We’ve over invited, knowing a lot of out of towners will not be able to come. Our gameplan for people who invite someone else is to simply tell them our venue only holds X amount of people and that we cannot accommodate any extra. If they get angry with us and threaten to not attend, then we have to accept it and move on. It will be their loss anyway. And as much as that sucks to say, anyone who can’t understand our reasoning - probably isn’t someone we’ll miss celebrating with anyway.
I know what you are going through! I’m in the middle of a RSVP drought. In the last week, we received one. We still have more than 50% out there and granted I know we have 26 days to go with our deadline, I can’t help but wonder if people are just slackers or just not coming?
hehe, i gave my friend the thumbs up for the +1, even after she already told the new boyfriend that he wasn’t invited. i was thankful for her politeness and she said, she would never have asked to invite him also. her graciousness made me even more glad to have been able to include him too.
People suck! I can’t get over how rude some people are. I think Melanie (#6) said it wonderfully — don’t let the rudesters come, and if they pitch a hissy, then they probably would not be very fun to celebrate with anyway.
What drove me nuts was that some guests seemed to think that just b/c they’d *said* they were making travel plans, etc. or talked to us about our wedding, that meant they didn’t have to send back an RSVP. Um, no, people, it’s not the same thing. Send back the damn card so I know you’re not talking out your b**** about how you’re “so excited” to come! Argh! In the end, after certain people had been scolded, we got most cards back (or at least a confirmed verbal response) and ended up w/ about 90 (incl. us + BP) out of an invite list of 120-ish.
We were very fortunate that no one tried the “I’m gonna write in an extra guest” trick on us. We did, however, in an attempt to make it clear that kids were not invited, and only the people named on the envelope were, put on the RSVP card “We have saved 1(2) seat(s) in your honor” at the top of the card along with the “A reply is requested by…” line. (For the 2-person cards, there were 2 yes options: “Both accept…” and “Accepts…”; we wanted to avoid any situation where a person was invited to write in a number.)
My friend told me and it held pretty true for me…expect the number of people at your wedding as the number of invites you send out.
I sent 136 invites and have hunted down RSVPs for 140. Nice little rule, thought I’d share.
We were surprised, USPS delivered the day after to cities not close by…the one thing that wasn’t so nice was that as I was making my invitations my family kept on adding people to the list…only to tell me 4 weeks before the wedding that only 2 people from my family will show up. I don’t know if i should be sad or upset.
We’re having similar issues… the worst so far is my mom’s 1st cousin asked us to invite her EX sister-in-law AND her two daughters. She thought that because she (the invited cousin)and her husband were not going to come, it was ok to invite 3 others in their place. I decided to choose my battles and explained to her that although our budget was set and to add three additional guests is not cheap - if they were already planning on coming then fine - they can come.
THEN she emails me back and says that she and her husband are going to make it after all AND she’s bringing her stepdaughter!! The nerve!!!!!!!! I’m going to let my mom handle this one - I have other things to worry about.
Sorry for the long post - had to vent! 
Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
We’re also planning to invite somewhere between 180-200 and expecting about 150. It was actually recommended to order less slices of cake than there are people since at least some won’t eat the wedding cake, so don’t worry about that. Also, if you’re short favors, you can skip close family and just explain the situation to them. In terms of people trying to bring uninvited guests, just take a stand and tell them you’re sorry, but you won’t be able to accomodate any extra people. As long as you are consistent, it’ll be fine.