Wedding Blog
Mr. Eggplant and I will be moving into our new condo late this winter. The building was sheduled to finish in fall 2007 which was PERFECT timing for our October wedding… until the completion date was delayed two times, to February of 2008. Did I mention that we have nowhere to live after our wedding yet? 
As it goes, we also don’t have a single kitchen thing to stock our cabinets. Well, last week we got… our very first wedding present!
Mr. Eggplant registered his current address for gift shipment. Last week he received a package from a couple who cannot to make it to our wedding due to rigorous med school rotation schedules. How thoughtful of them to send us a gift anyway! Well, I would NOT let Mr. Eggplant open our very first gift without me. I made him wait until I came over so that we could open the present together.
Of course, I had to photo document the moment for scrapbooking purposes. 
Inside were a set of everyday white plates!
It may not seem like much to get excited about, but I’m thrilled because Mr. Eggplant and I currently have ZERO kitchen stuff and I know that I’ll be eating off these babies for the next 25 years. My parents are still using the same dishes they received as gifts when they got married!
As for gift etiquette, I have a question for you guys: Do we mail out “thank you” cards right away or is it ok to wait until after the wedding to thank the early senders? If someone purchases off an online registry, does the person get notified that we’ve received the gift? I’ve sent registry gifts before and had no idea if the bride and groom ever received them (I didn’t receive a thank you card either). I wouldn’t want people to wonder whether their thoughtful gift was camping out on a UPS truck somewhere.
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i sent thank yous right away because guests started asking if we received their gifts.
I think it’s fine to mail either now or after the wedding. We did it afterwards so we could sign the cards — Jess and Virginia __! 
Love white plates btw! We registered for plain white plates in a rounded square shape from Target and then White Trace by Denby for our “nice” dinnerware. Love them both — useful and classic and matches w/ everything!!
P.S. We also sent them after so we could include wallet-sized wedding photos. We did this for many of our close friends.
You should send the thank you card right away.
Not only is this proper manners, it also keeps you from having to write all 100 thank you’s as soon as you get home from the honeymoon - you’ll already have a bunch finished.
Right Away! so it doesn’ t pile up!
I’ve received four gifts already (two from people who aren’t attending) and I’m twitching that I haven’t written thank you’s yet. But the wedding is 9 days away. Maybe I should just send them out anyway….but it would be nice to sign out married names. Hmmm…
Regarding thank-you cards: Before the wedding, you have two weeks; after, two months. However, getting those babies off your plate ASAP is even better. Of course I have the neatest (dual) monogram on my thank-you notes that obviously I can’t use until after the wedding - so I had to run out and get some at Michael’s to use b/n now and the wedding. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.
To your question about registry gifts: I’m sure the sender is notified. Shipping isn’t free and usually you get an email with the tracking number once the gift was shipped. I don’t think BB&B emails the sender once the gift is actually delivered to the recipient though.
I’ve read in several different etiquette books that you should send a thank you within two weeks of receiving a gift prior to the wedding. Love those plates, they are so classic!
I have also received gifts early and etiquette says two weeks if it is before the big day…And like christigpa I can’t use our dual monogram thank you cards yet. Those are for after the big day. So I’m off to buy cards for the early bird present givers. If only they knew how cute my dual monogram t/y cards are!
I do have a question. If those at work give you a shower, how do you thank them(over 20 people)? Email? I’m thinking Emily Post would say that is a big NO NO
Oh and Miss Eggplant I got my bcbg dress in the mail last week and LOVE IT and it fits so well. I can’t wait to change outfits…still working on the shoes though! A MILLION THANKS!
Well.. it depends.. For bridal shower gifts & engagement gifts, I sent a thank you card right away. For the wedding though, I can’t send any thanks yous until I get my photo thank you cards from my photographer. In your case, if you don’t have that problem, them just send it right away.. or you can write them an email telling that you got it but a formal thank you will be on the way.
Ladyjeni, I’m feeling your pain! Mine is uber-cute and I’m insanely proud that I did it all by my non-tech self.
For your work shower question: Did Suzy in accounting give you towels by herself? If so, send Suzy her own thank-you note.
If Suzy, Bob, and Jill contributed to those towels, email is fine. Really!
If it was a mixture of both, hand-written thank-you notes to those who gave individual gifts, a thank-you email to each group gift and one general thank-you email to everyone for throwing you a shower.
Miss Eggplant - love those plates! They will look so gorgeous on a coloured tablecloth and most chefs prefer white because it’s the best colour to showcase the food.
I would also send out thank you’s right away. Etiquette is 2 weeks but the sooner, the better - most guests would really notice how polite you are if you get ‘em out extra early!
Re: the registry gift notification, when I recently bought a couple a gift from their registry, we were notified when the gift shipped to their local store, but not when they picked it up.
Ladyjeni: I think the best idea would be to send them regular thank you cards just like anyone else.
Right away! Is uber-polite, makes it easier for you later to have so many already completed, and you won’t have to field all those “did you get my gift yet” questions at the wedding (trying to appear as if you are not racking your brain as to who sent what — would be so embarrassing to verbally thank them for the wrong gift at the wedding!).
Even if a bride is ordering photo thank you notes, I would write a prompt pre-wedding thank you note for the gift and then post-wedding (if you want) send a second thank you on the photo card just to thank them for making the trip and spending their day at your wedding.
If you have super cute thank you cards and really want to sign it Mr & Mrs ___, throw caution to the wind.
We got our first present and are sitting on it until the wedding so we can send them a photo from the wedding since they can’t make it. Etiquette schmetiquette’s. As long as you send them one that within an allotted time after the wedding, i think you are covered. No one is going to dock you points in life if you wait!
i went through the same dilemma, but ultimately decided to wait until after our wedding to send thank yous. like mrs. plumeria, we wanted to include a photo from the wedding with the thank you cards =)
I have heard that etiquette is that you have two weeks for anything received before the wedding, and a month for after. This seems a bit intense, but it might be a good rule of thumb to go by…a little
aughhh god, i was totally just going to wait til after the wedding. we’ve received a handful of gifts already and i was kinda putting it off. after reading all this, i know i need to get my butt to writing those notes now. bittersweet thanks weddingbees!
I would send them right away - I think it’s nice to do that when one receives any gift, but also, practically speaking, after the wedding you’ll have so many to send, you’ll be so glad that you’ve already done some.
I think as per etiquette, you are suppose to send thank you cards right away. I think it’s also exciting for whoever gave you a gift, I know it was for me. When my dear friend got married and I sent her a gift ( before the wedding since her wedding was not in the same city where we live). As soon as the gift was on its way, I couldn’t wait to hear from her. Not because I wanted some special thank yous, I just wanted to know that she got the gift, it arrived in one piece and she was excited ( because I was excited when I was getting it for her). And honestly, it disn’t matter to me if she sent me email or text message or some fancy schmancy thank you card. That’s just my two cents, sorry to ramble.
You’re supposed to send the the thank you cards immediately. Not only will this lighten the load after the wedding, but it lets them know you received the gift. I know I’d be thrilled about the instant gift-giver gratification and my warm fuzzies for you would only increase.
On a side note, while you’re supposed to write the cards immediately, you’re not actually supposed to use the stuff until after the wedding occurs. Technically, it’s an occasion specific gift intended for your married life together not just a general gift for giggles (also, if the worst happens and the wedding does not, you should be able to return in perfect condition, but that’s not necessary to dwell on…).
I know what you mean Miss Eggplant! I was going crazy over our first gift!
Miss Eggplant- I have received a few gifts off our registry through the mail from guest who can not attend too. I made a point to send the thank you card immediately so they would know I received the gift and how much it meant to me that they sent something even though they could not attend. I too am getting married in October, so I have already had 3 showers. I am trying my best to make sure I get all the thank you cards out before the wedding just so there is less to worry about when I get back. I think it is all personal preference and depends upon your post- wedding schedule.
Good Luck!
For gifts we received before the wedding, we mailed thank you notes right away, and just signed them our first names… it’s not like we needed to wait until after the wedding to use our last name, there shouldn’t be any confusion about who the thank you is coming from. Plus we didn’t want people wondering if we received the gift or not. If they sent it before the wedding, they wanted us to have it before the wedding, I doubt they wanted it to sit in a box for 2 months until after the wedding.
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Mrs. Eggplant, San Francisco
Age and Occupation: 28, Human Resources
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Associate Marketing Manager
Engagement Date: January 19, 2007
Wedding Date: October 20, 2007
Blogging Since: May 31, 2007
Venue: Ceremony at a cement and stained glass cathedral and reception at a boutique hotel ballroom
About Me: I'm a shopping junkie who lives to discover great deals and a craft addict that loves to scrapbook and knit. My profile picture was taken on the day I got engaged which is why my smile is so huge!
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