Wedding Blog
I’ve never been much of a heavy drinker…When it comes to alcohol, I’m one of those people who go straight from slightly buzzed to getting sick, with no happy state in between! Furthermore, I also fall victim to the “Asian flush” 
, so I usually try to limit myself to only a couple glasses of wine at corporate and social events. Mr. D is usually up for a few good beers and some great wine. For the most part, however, few of our family members drink.
One of the details FMIL and I have been discussing concerns the libations for the reception. Mr. D and I are planning on having a cocktail hour prior to the banquet. Initially, there was a debate between us and FMIL whether to have an open bar, a cash bar, or just a dry wedding altogether. My general impression is that, unless it is due to religious reasons or personal beliefs, alcohol should probably be provided at wedding receptions, if only to lighten up potentially awkward situations for guests who don’t know anyone else or for the old friend who runs into her ex 
. Mr. D and I also aren’t quite into the idea of a dry wedding…what’s a celebration without some bubbly!
As such, we’ve decided upon having a consumption bar - aka an open wine and beer bar, except our venue will charge us based on what our guests actually consume as opposed to paying a traditional flat open bar charge per head (side note: this is usually a more cost effective option if you know that your guests will consume on average less than 3-4 drinks per person). The length of time the bar will be open is still up for debate. I also absolutely want to provide wine and champagne for all of our guests as well. This is where we need your help…
A legitimate concern that FMIL raised was that she feels like the pouring charges for wine and champagne (which are charged per head) will go to waste, as our families and most of her network would only toast for show and not actually consume any of it. We are trying to come up with a couple of creative strategies to provide plenty of options for all of our guests while maximizing our bang for the buck. We are currently considering a couple of options to propose to our venue:
Option A. Open bar all night, no pouring service
a) Hosting an open bar available throughout the night, with a very high cap (aka unlikely to be reached based on our projections). Guests would be encouraged to go to the open bar if they would like to have wine with their dinner.
b) Leave an open bottle of champagne on each table and have guests help themselves if they want to use champagne for the toast (pay per bottle instead of per glass, by forgoing pouring service)
Option B. 1-hour open bar, with pouring service
a) Host an open bar available only during the cocktail hour. Again, we would encourage guests to get a glass of wine if they would like to have a glass with their dinner.
b) Pay for pouring service for a champagne toast (would be for all tables, paid per head)
Option C. Open bar all night (capped), limited pouring service
a) Hosting an open bar with a cap, available throughout the night (lower cap than option A)
b) Designating only certain tables (for which we know people will drink) to receive wine and champagne pouring service
Option B would be the most expensive, and we would try to make option A and C break even in price. Just how important is the pouring service, and what option would you choose? Remember that only about 35-40% of our guests at the most would be drinking. Would option C be too strange, if we were to informally check with our guests beforehand? I am also open to other suggestions to work around these concerns, as we have yet to negotiate these details with our venue!
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Share this post: To Pour Or Not To Pour…
I think option C is a little strange since even if a guest doesn’t drink alcohol, they might feel left out seeing other tables get glasses.
I like how you broke down your options. It really helps me get a better idea of how to decide for our wedding!
that is wayyy confusing. good luck, i have no clue.
Option A and leaving an open bottle of bubbly on each table would be a little less awkward than option C. I’ve been to weddings before that have done this and it seemed to work very well. Plus, afterwards it makes a fun game of Bubbly Pirates to find tables with full bottles…ok, so maybe its only me and my friends that do that..hehe!
If it were me, I would choose option A. There is alcohol available if you want it and the champagne gets a friendly feel.
I think A sounds most logical.
i agree with the others — Option A seems to make most sense money-wise, and it is less confusing for the guests if they know that there are no waiters at all pouring drinks at the table.
Plus if you don’t want anyone to feel pressured to drink champagne for the toast, you might want to leave some sparkling cider on the table along with the champagne :@).
I vote A too…
C seems really awkward, and could lead to people feeling like they are not as valued. B is more expensive, and as you have pointed out, not really necessary.
I would vote option A, which friends of mine did at their wedding- it worked really well.
Something else you might want to consider that worked for my friends was to have sparkling grape juice or cider in a bottle on the table in addition to the bubbly. That way guests that didn’t drink still had something festive with which to toast.
Option A
I too vote A. People who will want to drink will know exactly what to do and where to go. Bottles of champagne on the table would be fine. I’ve never been to a wedding where wine was served to me, so I would naturally go to the bar to get it.
I would have an open bar all night, or at least for the cocktail hour + 2 hours of the reception. As for the pouring, it *is* nice to have the champagne poured for the toast. Our guests were offered a glass of champagne or a glass of Sidra (a traditional, non-alcoholic Spanish cider that my family loves), as many of our guests did not drink either. If not many people will drink the champagne, it seems like a waste to give an open bottle to a table that won’t drink it. For us, the guests who did drink appreciated the open bar and the champagne, and those who did not appreciated having an alternative to toast with.
I vote Option A.
My experience with open bars for a limited amount of time (like Option B) is that some people try to cram in their alcohol during that time since they have only an hour. It’s more of a psychological thing, so it might end up costing you more than you might expect.
I don’t really understand this pouring service business, but I think just having the bottles on the table is nice.
My vote is for option A too. The DJ can always announce the ‘toast will be coming up soon’ to clue guests in to make sure they have a drink. Or you could designate someone to give the tables the warning.
Option A. And I don’t think you even need to leave the bottle of champagne at the table, just have it availablt at the bar. I’ve been to weddings where the guests just toast with whatever they have in their hand, and it’s been fine.
I’ve also been to weddings with option C, and it is extremely rude. It would be like serving half of your “special guests” filet mignon and lobster, and then having rubbery chicken for the less important ones. Even if in your mind you’re giving the pouring service to the “drinkers” and not because they are special, it will look that way to other guests.
Could you do option A but instead of a bottle on each table, have servers offer champagne or sparkling cider? That way those that would like to toast but not drink would have the cider (and it would also be less costly per bottle)?
Regarding the Asian Flush…I am have asian…and I ALWAYS GET RED AND HOT when I drink…is this the cause? I never heard that! Also…we can blame lactose intolerance on being Asian too 
I have been to many weddings that have an open bar during the cocktail hour…then only free beer and wine for the rest of the occasion. Regarding the Toast…pour or open bottle is fine. I would do pour if it wasn’t that much more (200 or so)…I have been to some weddings where only the wedding party (and parents/gparents) only get the champagne. Everyone else just toasts with whatever they have in their hands.
Definately go with option A. I cater weddings and at the vast majority of the weddings I’ve done people rarely drink their champagne, even weddings where there are a lot of heavy drinkers, they will just go to the bar and get a glass of wine or something to toast with. It just makes soooo much more sense to have people pour their own, that way they will pour the amount they will drink too.
I have to echo everyone’s sentiments and go for Option A, and I really like the idea of the Dj announcing the impending toast. A good DJ will present it in a way where people know to get a drink if they want one, or toast with their water glasses if they don’t.
I’m lucky we don’t have this problem - our venue includes this charge with the cost of each guest’s meal and doesn’t allow an option without it. Our only additional alcohol decision was open bar or no bar. Going with no bar would only have saved us $10-$12 per guest and didn’t really seem like a good option for an evening reception.
A
a
I’d go with option A.
We had a variation of A - open/hosted bar all night, with wine pouring service through dinner (paid by the bottle as oposed to glass, no extra charge to have the service). I tend to think bottles left on the table lead to more waste, but if you’re charged extra for service it may be a wash.
And, for the “Asian Flush” - my husband (who is 1/4 Korean) takes a Zantac before a big night out. Works like a charm! Although, I have to say, I think his flushed face is absolutely adorable. 
Have you considered not having champagne, and just letting people toast with whatever they’re already drinking? Most people just drink a sip or two of champagne for show and then leave the rest and go back to their beverage of choice anyway.
A!!! all-night-long open bars are always a HUGE PLUS at weddings. and a bottle of champagne at each table is more than enough bubbly to get all your guests through the toasts.
I’d say A as well, especially if you’re having Chinese banquet catering. Most Chinese banquets have a bottle wine at the table so guests will be used to this option already. We’re doing this for our Chinese banquet too!
If you do go with the champagne option, you might want to consider having Sparkling Apple Cider available for your non-alcoholic guests. This will allow them to toast to you and not feel left out. They look just like all the other guests with their champagne glasses then.
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/09/07/how-to-serve-alcohol/
this poll that miss bluebell did on alcohol might help!
A, without putting bottles on the tables. i think the option others pointed out is a good idea - have the DJ announce the toast so people can get whatever they want for the toast, and they’ll actually drink it! i don’t think it matters whether what you’re drinking is champagne/white wine/red wine/water/etc.
if what people are drinking does matter to you, then i’d stick with putting a bottle of champagne (and a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne) on each table.
Go for A. I am having wine open at the table and champagne available at the bar for those who want to toast with it, because I figure that people will toast with whatever happens to be in their hand (why waste time and money pouring champagne for everyone when they don’t even drink it?). The Emcee will make an announcement a few minutes before the toast to remind everyone to get champagne if they want it…
I think option A is the best. We’re just having an open bar all night and it is costing quite a lot but it was what works best for our friends and family.
While B sounds like a good idea, it can be a disaster if you have even 5 or 6 people at the wedding who are big drinkers. If they know they only have one hour to drink, they’ll drink as much as possible, and that is never a good idea. I’ve seen it happen — weddings where only the cocktail hour was open bar since a very small number of guests would drink — and two individuals kept drinking and drinking as much as possible in the one hour and create a HUGE scene at the wedding.
A seems like the best option. What about just beer and wine with a champagne toast? That is always a good option for saving money - or if you don’t have alot of guests that ‘drink.’ And even if you do have ‘drinkers,’ the ones that drink hard liquor will usually put up with just wine or beer. Good Luck!
I agree that Option A seems like the best. But make sure the DJ or MC gives your guests some notice before the toasts. Its the worst when the speaches start and you don’t have anything to toast with.
Thanks everyone for the input! I will also think about having a non-alcoholic alternative as well as for having the dj/mc announce when the toasts are about to happen.
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Mrs. Daffodil, San Francisco/Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 26, Nonprofit Strategy Consultant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Resident Physician
Engagement Date: December 29, 2006
Wedding Date: May, 2008
Blogging Since: August, 2007
Venue: Church w/ floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Valley; Westin in downtown LA
About Me: I moved around a lot growing up, but consider myself a Southerner at heart. I love scrapbooking, dancing, doggies, and diet coke. I am all about personalizing everything and hence, I'm a DIY bride who is just loving the entire wedding planning process! Mr. Daffodil and I met in our college fellowship group and were "just friends" for three years before we started dating. We've been together for four years now and can't wait to get married in sunny SoCal, Mr. Daffodil's hometown.
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