Wedding Blog

Here’s a picture of Mr. Eggplant and me dressed and ready to board a float for the Chinese New Year parade.

Just kidding, of course. I picked up my cheongsam over the weekend and while I was at the shop, Mr. Eggplant and I tried on a few traditional Chinese outfits for the tea ceremony portion of our Sunday reception. We decided against having Mr. Eggplant wear the outfit in the picture above since we want our guests to take us seriously.

My mom rented her tea ceremony outfit when she was married, and I’m going to do the same since. The skirt and top pieces are very ornately embroidered and incredibly expensive to make.

This is the outfit I’ll probably wear, but it’s a tad big so I’ll have to rent a smaller size.

Mr. Eggplant might get a traditional top like this one and pair it with plain black slacks.

While I do not believe in customs or superstitions that bring good luck or fertility, Mr. Eggplant and I are participating in the tea ceremony to keep as much tradition in our ABC (American born Chinese) blood as possible, and to honor our parents and grandparents, who were born in China/Taiwan and still appreciate the symbolism.

For those of you interested in incorporating a Chinese tea ceremony into your wedding, I found these nifty instructions on eHow.com:

1. Prepare tea with lotus seeds and two red dates to serve after the ceremony. The reason for this is that “lotus” and “year” sound alike in Chinese, as do “seed” and “child,” and “date” and “early.” Chinese tradition holds that adding the items to the tea helps to encourage fertility.
2. Remember that serving sweet tea to the groom’s family during the wedding ceremony also helps bring about sweet relations between the bride and her new family.
3. Allow time at the wedding for you and your spouse to serve tea together to the groom’s family.
4. Invite the groom’s elders to join in. Address them by their formal names, such as First Aunt and Third Uncle.
5. Offer chairs for the guests.
6. Arrange the seating with the women to the left and the men to the right.
7. Kneel down with your spouse on the floor.
8. Remember that the bride is positioned in front of her father-in-law, the groom in front of his mother.
9. Arrange for lucky women, or ones who will bring you good luck, to help you serve.
10. Hold the teacup in both hands when you present it to each person.
11. Serve the tea to the groom’s parents first, then proceed in order from the oldest participant to the youngest.
12. Expect to receive lucky red envelopes, called lai see, containing money or jewelry, from the groom’s family.
13. Look for these envelopes to be placed on the platter on which the tea is served.

While the wedding tea ceremony is only for the groom’s family, the bride serves tea earlier in the day to her own parents. In this way, she thanks them for raising her.