Wedding Blog
This is Mr. Bee.
Mrs. Bee posted last year about whether or not she would remarry, if I was no longer buzzing around. Between you and me, I hope the answer is yes… I think she’s happier with a Mr. Bee around (although if she called him Mr. Bee, I might turn in my grave!).
When we asked the hive if you’d remarry, 50% of people said that yes, 15% said no, and 34% said maybe.
So know we know what you all would do if your partner died. But what about the flip side… if you died, would you want your partner to remarry?
ps Sorry for the macabre Reader Buzz… between Mrs. Bee and me, we have five planets in Scorpio!
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Can you add a choice:
yes, I want them to be happy (but still love me just a little bit more then the new one!)
I asked my FH the same question one time and he said he would never remarry and when his time comes, he would be buried next to me.
My great-grandfather remarried after his wife died. My dad never knew his real grandmother, just his step-grandmother. Papa is buried in the cometary of the church he helped build, between both his wifes with one big headstone that lists all their names.
It seems really weird to think about that, as a newlywed — but I’d have to say we’ve had this conversation before, and I’ve always said I would want him to remarry and be happy. He insists he would not and would mourn me forever. While that is sweet, I know he needs to be with somebody to be happy, and I hope he would find love again with someone that would take care of him, and of course respect my memory too. 
ha ha. this is a great question. although my mom jokes that after my dad passes away she sees no reason to have another husband (implying they’re a hassle), i’ve watched my grandma struggle with loneliness since my grandfather died ten years ago. i don’t think she wants to marry again (again, the hassle thing), but i know a boyfriend or two would be good for her.
i like the “but love me just a little bit more then the new one” option. i’d hate to wish a life of sadness and being alone on my FI.
After my mom died almost 10 years ago, my father mourned for a good 2 years, and then started spending more time out and about with his somewhat single friend. He was introduced to a lovely woman that he started going to see plays and movies with, and having dinner with on a regular basis…he called her his “show buddy.”
They got married 2 years after they started datin - I mean, seeing shows together, and they are a very cute, loving couple! I’m sure my mother would have wanted him to be happy like he is…he was still so young and handsome and full of life, it would have been terrible to not share his time with someone that liked doing the same things he likes to do!
It’s clear that he still loves my mom and misses her a great deal. When I went home a couple of months ago to visit, I asked him if I could look at her jewelry he’d saved to see if there was anything I could use as my something borrowed on my wedding day…if he would grant me permission to borrow them, that is. It seemed very hard for him to look over all the jewelry he’d bought for her over the years for birthdays, aniversaries, and Christmases. Such a touching thought that he still feels that way, even with his new wife there with us, helping me find something that might work out!
I would want my FI to remarry if I died. Especially if I were to die as young as my mom did. (She was 53.) It’s not fair to expect someone to live alone, pining after their lost loves…
And I love the macabre subjects! If people can’t think/talk about this sort of thing, then they might not be ready to actually be in a marriage, I think.
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