Wedding Blog
Now that Mr. Lily and I have been married for a few months, we decided it was time to take another new step in our relationship: buying a home. Looking for an apartment in Manhattan, as those of you who live here can attest, is a trying process. We **think** we have found a place we like (do you ever really know after a 5 minute walk through?) and we **think** we are going to put an offer in tomorrow. This made me wonder, how many of you out there are in a similar boat?
And if you do own, did you have panic attacks, dry mouth, and gag reflex when thinking about your very own mortgage?
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We bought our 1st house the month before the wedding. It was a hectic time but so worth it! Believe it or not I actually was sick to my stomach when I bought my first new car and when we bought our house I didnt really have a care in the world. I think it was all the wedding excitement.
Nerves were only part of it! But I made sure to do my research before hand…I think I must have read at least a dozen books over the course of 3 weeks to ensure I knew what I was getting myself into…my FI dubbed me as the Research Queen and I read while he figured out a way to pay the bills! I think I got the better deal! But it’s an exciting time! A house is the one thing that you can get and be sure over time it will appreciate in value! Good luck!
Wow — I’d lOVE to know more about you search. Feel free to email me off line to discuss if you don’t want to talk about it the bee. Mr. Onion works at Columbia and we started looking in that area and OMG it’s already hella expensive up there. We can afford a downpayment but if we get in too over our heads we’ll stuggle to pay the mortgage + maint. fees. Hope to talk more as we’re in the SAME nyc boat!
We just moved so that we could buy a house, since that would never happen in West LA (a condo, sure, but we don’t make enough to buy a $1mil 2 bedroom house). We’ve signed a 9 month lease and plan on buying something within 5-7 months… so it’s scary but exciting! Right now, the real estate market/economy is dying in CA, so in a few months it’ll be the right time.
we bought a co-op in ny about a year ago. I def had some panic attacks thinking about the money and all but i think most of it was not knowing exactly how much everything was going to be. after the bills come in, and you get a grip on it all, its easier and so well worth it!
NYC apartment hunting is crazy. We had our ups and downs buying our apt. here. Anyway, the mortgage and maintenace was manageable. But it feels scary before you are actually paying it because you’re not sure what it will be like. (My FI is also amazing with finances and made sure we didn’t get in over our heads… like I might have).
Yes, you will indeed panic and stay up all night right before you put an offer on your first place. But if you do your math right and get a good deal, the panic will go away as soon as you buy the place. Being a homeowner is so worth it if you can afford it!
I bought my condo 7 years ago, by myself. The first couple months in the condo I didn’t sleep too well. But, then got used to it (and the mortgage) and love the place. But, now I’m selling it to move in with FI after the wedding and we’ll take my nest egg $ from the sale, watch it grow for a couple years, and buy a house together. I definitely recommend buying. It is a great investment.
The bigger panic attack for me was, “Am I/are we really going to live here long enough for this to be worth it?” A jetsetter by nature, I think I would always feel panicked about anything requiring a serious commitment, minus the actual relationship, of course. 
Fortunately, FI bought his place just weeks before we met, so I never had to be part of the “buying” decision. Now that I’ve officially moved in with FI, we are planning on keeping that home for the next 4 years. Honestly, that will be twice as long as I have ever lived in one solid place in my entire adult life - childhood excluded. (Seriously, I’ve moved every 12-18 months.)
Now, that’s it’s all said and done, I add up all the money I’ve thrown at rent, and feel grateful that now it’s all pooling into real assets and true OWNERSHIP.
Take the leap! It’s a good risk.
We signed a contract for a condo in a new development in NJ a couple of months ago and it looks like we’ll be closing in November.
We first looked in Manhattan but it’s SOOO expensive. I’m fine with living in a large studio or 1-bedroom but Mr Peony’s parents come to visit for months at a time and they need an extra bedroom.
We ventured out to Queens (LIC and Astoria) and Brooklyn but didn’t find the prices much better.
NJ was the next choice. Prices are lower, but the area close to NYC still have appreciating values. We were very pleasantly surprised to find out that our commute to work would actually be LESS than if we lived in Queens, Brooklyn, even Harlem! We’re getting a HUGE 2 bed, 2 bath condo for half the price of what we would’ve paid in NYC.
To answer your question, yes I do panic sometimes. When we first signed the contract, both Mr Peony and my hands were shaking. When we signed over a check for the required 10% downpayment I almost cried because it’s such a large amount and I really felt like there was no going back. However, I’m sooo excited to finally have a place to call our own. It’s also such a great investment - in just two months, the appraised value of our condo went up $15,000 just because the location is booming!
We love our UWS condo purchase! Smart DH bought right after 9/11. Great investment. It’s a big consideration whether your buy a condo or a co-op — make sure you fully understand the differences. Study the condition of the bldg, facilities, staff. Find out if any major repairs are pending (i.e., you will be hit with a mandatory assessment soon after buying).
Miss Peony- where in NJ is this? we’ll eventually be selling our co-op and moving into a bigger place. thanks in advance!
Buying your first place is really exciting. Our real estate agent kept telling us that and she was right. It’s a real sense of accomplishment and security that you have your own home. It’s also a little scary that yeah, you have this huge obligation. During the closing, they show you the price you are buying it for and the “scare price” which is about 3x that amount (after 30 years). We weren’t so worried about the mortgage as we are about the maintenance. Everytime something goes wrong inside the house, it’s several hundred or thousands out of your pocket that you didn’t expect to pay.
The best part about owning is you can paint the walls!!!!
it’s so good to know i’m not alone in this whole apartment hunting in nyc..i’ve been renting in the columbia univ area for about 3 years now with friends. fiance has a nice little co-op studio in the noho area that he owns, but it’s not quite large enough for both of us. after much deliberation, he believes it’s better if we just stay there for now so that we don’t have to try to sell his place and buy a new place all while we’re wedding planning. personally..i wish we could just get a new place before we get married so that i don’t have to move twice. but he really believes this is the best thing. :/ so into the little studio i go…
of all things though, i think we’ve x-ed off nj..we’re left with looking in queens, brooklyn, and doubting we’ll be able to afford a place in manhattan (even with the money from selling his studio). oh the joys of living in nyc..
I bought my house by myself a few years ago, which was a little scary, but I’m so glad I did it. We’re moving soon, so we’re looking forward to taking all the equity that it’s gained and buying a place that’s truly ours.
OH YEAH…my heart was beating so fast at the closing that I’m pretty sure the banker heard it!! It is such a scary thing but it is so worth it to have a place of your very own in the end!!
Good luck and congrats on being an ALMOST-homeowner!
I’m getting married next week and we just bought our first home about two months ago. Like Mrs. Butterscotch, buying the house was a lot less stressful than I though it would be.
My advice is to know what you can afford and buy within your means (ideally without a jumbo loan and adjustable mortgage rate). It really makes the entire process a lot less stressful when you know you can afford the mortgage, prop. tax, insurance, etc., etc., and still be able to buy a nice bottle of wine every now and then.
My new husband and I just paid our first mortgage payment today - holy cow, we’re really homeowners!! It’s exciting, definitely, and so great to have a place of our own, together, but makes me a tiny bit anxious at the same time, but nevertheless, we’re homeowners! And I have to say, I am so glad we don’t live in a big city; we could never have afforded the type/size house we have… and here I am thinking that coastal properties are crazy expensive - not compared to NYC and LA.
I can’t wait to buy. We’re leaving the insanely-priced Bay Area for the South in 2008 and we’ll be buying as soon as we’re settled. Yay!!!
Good luck with the NYC hunt - there’s no way I could stomach it.
Good luck on your offer. Remember, if this one doesn’t work out, there are other homes out there. Take heart in the fact that in general the real estate climate has swung more towards a buyer’s market.
And once you’re in your new home, despite how large your mortgage might seem, one just gets used to making that monthly payment after about a year…you adjust to the new budget. I speak from experience, having gone through this 3 times over the years. Just try to buy well within your means.
It obviously makes a huge difference where you live - I’m in the midwest, and have been a homeowner for a few years now. Do your research: in my area, my mortgage payment is only about $125 more than rent for a nice apt. - and my house is twice as big! (Though I probably have more utility and maintenance costs….) I realize thats not the case for every area, but understand the market you live in. Good luck!
You will panic before placing the offer, after placing the offer and especially - especially - after your offer is accepted! You also might feel great relife if your offer is not accepted…but you’ll will find other properties and offer again! We put offers in on five different properties before we ended up in our loft - and we look back now and feel VERY thankful we didn’t get accepted for any of the others!
It can be very nervewracking and you will ask yourself a million questions about if it’s the right thing to do, if it’s the right property, can we really afford this, etc. BUT - once you are in and you have a few months of paying that mortgage under your belt, you feel divine and you realize that you CAN do this and that it WAS the right thing for you.
But I second what everyone else has said about buying within your means and getting a sensible mortgage product from a reputable lender or bank.
ideally of course we’d like to own, but right now we’re content to rent.
i don’t want a place in the city because i’m much more a suburb/rural gal, so hopefully a nice house is in the cards a few years down the line.
Thanks everyone for all your support! We put an offer in today. My hands were totally shaking while I was on the phone. I won’t have a clue what the seller thinks until Monday so keep your fingers crossed for us!!!!
We’re renting right now. I would LOVE to buy a condo in D.C. (or a townhouse, but the $1 million + for a 3 bedroom townhouse turns me off a bit) but there is a very good shot that for the first 3-5 years of marriage, we will be living apart. I don’t think it is practical for us to pay for mortgage on a condo I will be living in by myself AND pay rent on a Center City Philadelphia apartment for my husband. Once I am able to move up to Philly in several years, we’ll get a condo right away.
Good luck Mrs. Lily!!
For us, being very young, I don’t think anyone expected us to own our own place. Our plan is to rent for a few years, and by then hopefully have saved up enough for a down payment. The Bay Area is pretty pricey as well, especially in our area (think $600,000-$700,000 for a townhouse, with small single-family homes starting in the $800,000s!) so it will definitely be a while before we’re ready to take the leap.
None of my recently-married friends who are homeowners did it completely on their own (all have had help from parents for down payments, etc.), so whenever I fall prey to the “comparing game,” I just remind myself that we are very fortunate to have good jobs and the prospect of ownership in a few years, using our own hard-earned money (and in CA that says a lot!). I think this is good for us though — we have both learned that owning or not, we both have a home wherever the other is, and we also appreciate the value of our dollars a little more deeply. We love our pretty little apt. and will always have special memories of it even when we eventually move!
I tried SO HARD to buy a place back in 2000, but couldn’t get a mortgage due to my huge law school debts. By the time the loans were paid down somewhat, the market had soared… So I completely feel for anyone who feels locked out of the market these days.
But luckily, Mr. T owns his place, AND bought early enough to benefit from the market rise. I tell him it’s why I’m marrying him (heh heh). But seriously, I feel a little like I’m taking advantage, coming into the marriage with such an uneven financial balance….
Housing in NYC is insane. For me, the stressful part was not the mortgage, but dealing with the coop board! The “board approval” process really made me reconsider how much I wanted the apartment! I think the important thing is to stay realistic about the process. It will take time to find a great place at a price you can afford.
We actually built our house about a month before we even got engaged! He always said that he wanted to be situated before he ever got married or started a family. Paying a mortgage is very stressful, but well worth it in the long run!!!
In regards to your question of if you know it’s the right place after a 5 minute walk-through, I would suggest another walk-through where you really look at the details. We are about to make an offer on a house, but we really liked another house until the inspection report. We found out that house needed a full roof replacement, then when tried, very few of the windows opened because they were varnished shut or dried out or other problems, basically it was a money pit!
Thankfully this other house has been taken great care of and the report looks great!
So I would definitley suggest an inspection or to see a report of any that has been done already.
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Miss Lily, New York/Tucson
Age and Occupation in 06: 30, Public Health Researcher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Art/Web Stuff
Engagement Date: February 11, 2006
Wedding Date: April, 2007
Venue: Tuscon, Arizona
About Me: Here are some things I love?�‚�? painting, drawing, knitting and all other crafty things (including glueing popsicle sticks together); burritos (must be from Arizona); indie/70s rock; whiskey; dogs (if only my tiny apt could support one!); bad TV; and reading. I'm also crazy indecisive so fingers crossed wedding planning doesn't kill me.
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