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As I was using our brand-new off the registry blender last night, I noticed Mr. Kiwi cowering behind me, looking at the blender with the look men save for when they’re standing in front of the microwave. No, not the “Can’t wait to eat pizza rolls” look, but the “I’m covering my junk so my guys don’t get all radiated” look. Now, the blender can’t hurt your junk (unless you try really hard), but Mr. Kiwi seems to think there would be some kind of jinx, or bad ju-ju for using a wedding gift pre-wedding.
I can understand why you’d be a little hesitant, if you were going to use a wedding dress from a broken engagement, or given a ring your FI initially bought for an ex-girlfriend. That kind of stuff is easily understood, right? Using a blender the month before the wedding is bad? Even if technically the blender/food processor is a shower and wedding gift?
Last Christmas, when stumped for gifts to give us, some family gave us stuff off our registry; our flatware and some of our glasses. Mr. Kiwi instantly put them up in a cupboard so I can’t get them. 
Now that the gifts are starting to arrive, I told him we HAVE to open them to see what it is, to send a thank you card (so far three cards have been mailed, I’m so proud of myself for not procrastinating!). He’s cool with that, but still didn’t want me using any of the stuff. That is, until the 12qt All-Clad multi-cooker arrived. Now he’s torn between his love for all things pasta, and the fear of getting jinxed.
What do you think about this “jinx” crap? Are there certain things you’re doing to avoid it? Or slightly believing it, but still doing some things you HAVE to do (Such as getting an email address with your future name, so no one else gets it)? Or is it just CRAP?
i figured you didn’t use the wedding gifts in the unfortunate event that you have to return them. i don’t believe in jinx though…i’m sure if i got wedding gifts beforehand and i had room in the house i’d totally break them out. you know, just to make sure they work.
OMG, my hubs was TOTALLY like Mr. Kiwi. He said, “It’s bad luck to open gifts before we’re married.” I, too, explained, no, dear, you HAVE to open them so you can thank people! It was kind of a non-issue on using the stuff, since most of the stuff was fancy dishes, and we weren’t really cooking much right before the wedding anyway. (Most of our goodies off the registry were received at my shower, which was only 5 days before the wedding.)
What is it with boys?! I think it’s total CRAP.
It’s very strange that you’re sending thank you cards for wedding gifts before the wedding even happened. Makes it seem like all you are is anxious to get gifts and relieved when you finally get some. Anyone else think this is really weird?
Actually, the etiquette is to send the thank you cards when you receive the gift. Otherwise it looks rude, I’ve heard.
Miss Kiwi is right. All the etiquette guides will tell you you should immediately (2 weeks, I think?) acknowledge any gifts received prior to the wedding. (Partly so that the giver can have peace of mind that you received it. Many people consider it quite rude if you DON’T promptly acknowledge that they sent you something.) Anything after, I think you “have” 2 months before it’s considered rude.
I had never even thought it of until one of my girlfriends had an engagement party and all the gifts went home with her parents! I feel so sad that the beautiful, fantastic and fabulous KitchenAid mixer is going to sit in a box for the next 6 months!!!
My first gift was my everyday china from my grandma and she insisted that I open it and use it. If grandma thinks it’s ok, I think it’s ok! 
And yes, definitely send thank you notes as gifts arrive.
I don’t think it’s a jinx but etiquette does say that while you should unwrap them so that you can send a thank you card, you shouldn’t actually use them until after the wedding because if, for some reason, the wedding is called off then you are supposed to return the gifts.
Pessimistic as it is, I think Marissa is right. I had a registry gift refunded to me because the couple called off the wedding.
It’s funny that I never thought not to use it because of the chance the wedding wouldn’t occur! Da-yum!!!
email for my future name?? genius! as soon as i read your post i went to gmail to set up my account
Yes, you should open and send a thank-you immediately but not use, because the wedding hasn’t happened yet, and the possiblity exists that it may not - not because of a jinx.
My dd was in the sad position of having to send back shower gifts after a cancelled wedding. Unfortunately, she used items from the ginormous box of Pampered Chef stuff she’d gotten from my sister (who works there, so it was not a BIG deal). Um, Aunt Diane, you know that garlic press…..? A little uncomfortable. And, of course, no one ever thinks it will happen.
I opened and sent TY notes as soon as I received wedding gifts pre-wedding. I agree that all etiquette advice I read advised to send TY notes pre-wedding as soon as gifts are received.
I also agree that the reason you don’t use the gifts is because there is the chance the wedding won’t occur and you have to return the gifts.
That being said… I used some shower gifts. I ask you - how does one let a perfectly good Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer just sit in the box when it’s time to make Christmas cookies?!? I have no willpower - I had to use it!
P.S. - Our families loved the cookies, and our wedding went off without a hitch!
P.P.S. - I did secretly reason with myself that should the return of gifts be necessary, I’d go out and buy replacements to send back and keep whatever I had already used. Yes, I had a plan. 
Definitely send the thank yous out as you receive the presents. A friend of mine didn’t do this and she was so swamped after the wedding with all the thank you cards she had to write - not fun! Plus, I say, go ahead and use the gifts. My rationale was that you have to make sure nothing is WRONG with the gift, right? Because what if that new blender doesn’t work? You’ll need to return it and get a new one And I think the whole “don’t use the gifts incase you need to call off the wedding” is MORE of a jinx. If you’re secure in your relationship and know that you and your FI are going to be together forever, go ahead and use your gifts!
Eh. Jinx shminx. We’re 2 weeks out and yesterday I unpacked and used our everyday dishes that were sent to us earlier in the week.
I am pretty sure that our wedding is going to happen, so no worries there. My main motivation in opening them early has been to get my thank you cards out ASAP. I can keep on top of them much easier this way, and I make a point to write out the card the day I receive the gift.
Mike wouldn’t let me use, or even unpack and put away, ANY of our shower/wedding gifts before the wedding. The formed a dusty mountian in our living room.
My step-mom was here visiting the week we lost his mom, and we weren’t even sure when we were going to get married, and she said she had had enough of the pile. She started unpacking things and putting them all away, and Mike couldn’t say anything since it wasn’t me!
Obviously, we ended up getting married anyway, so it all worked out with the gifts, but I seriously think he was considering not letting me use them until the re-do wedding!
We have been opening and enjoying our pre-wedding wedding gifts, but we are waiting to send thank you cards so that we can address them from the new Mr. and Mrs.
There is way too much etiquette and differing family traditions to keep up with, so we are doing what is right for us… as should you all
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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