Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA
Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney
Engagement Date: March 24, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 20, 2007
Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
Out-of-Towners
October 12th, 2007 @ 11:28 am by Mrs. Jasmine
In the last month and a half, Mr. Jasmine and I attended three out-of-state weddings! Since we expect to have many out-of-town guests at our nuptials next June, I’ve been paying close attention to what made the trips easiest for us. Here are my thoughts on how to make your wedding stress-free for out-of-towners:
1) Advance Notice: This is the most important thing we learned and the most important tip I can pass on. One couple emailed us hotel block information less than a month before the big day. Another couple mailed our invitation to the rehearsal dinner long after we booked our flight. Since we scheduled a night flight, we had to miss the dinner.
It’s crucial to give your guests plenty of advance notice of hotel room blocks as well as dates and times of wedding events. Flights can get expensive if not booked early and if your guests are anything like us, they will want to join in on all the fun. Advance notice in the form of emails, wedding websites, save-the-date cards, and/or invitation inserts can make a big difference in your guests’ planning.
2) Seating Arrangements: At every wedding, the bride and groom seated us with people we knew or people they thought we would get along with. We were glad for the great company because it can be isolating to be an out of town guest! Seating arrangements can be an arduous task, but guests are always appreciative of a thoughtful, considerate seating chart.
3) Thorough Directions: Accurate, detailed directions to all the relevant wedding locations are a must for all guests, but it’s especially nice if you include directions to popular tourist attractions and nightspots for your out-of-towners. Mr. Jasmine and I spent a sad forty-five minutes trying to find the Galleria in Houston!
4) Thoughtful Logistics: One afternoon wedding we attended had an after-party at the bride’s relative’s house. The only problem? The location was over an hour away from the wedding reception. Mr. Jasmine and I were happy to go because we love the bride and the groom, but a closer after-party location might have been easier on travel-weary guests. Try to schedule wedding weekend events within a close vicinity of each other so guests’ traveling is minimal. Additionally, if possible, try to avoid long gaps of time between events so guests aren’t left with no place to go and nothing to do.
What do you appreciate as an out-of-town guest at a wedding?
14 Responses to “Out-of-Towners”
hey i’ve spent plenty of time trying to find the (insert anything) in Houston, and I’m a native! it’s just a mess! 
these are good tips. nice post 
When my fiance and I were an OOT guests, I appreciated the when the bride and groom would find a few minutes to just chat with us and see how we were doing. They had so many people to thank and say hi to, so when they found time every now and then to pop over and hang out with us, I was even more happy to be there with them!
This was a great post. I’m getting married in 2 weeks and I wanted to make sure that I made it as easy as possible on those traveling to be with us. It’s good to see that I covered all of these bases!
I love advance notice and details on what I can expect or what activities I am expected to be a part of.
I live in Houston also and usually the traffic to get around the Galleria is at LEAST 45 minutes, so that’s not bad at all.
Great list!
I know it’s petty, but I was totally peeved at a bride who gave us zero information about anything until less than a week before the wedding (and my FI was the best man!). She didn’t even e-mail to say “Don’t worry, we’re keeping things simple so just show up.” As an OOTer, I would have appreciated knowing that we didn’t need to keep time free for them, so I could plan other activities.
And being seated with people who have similar interests, or whom we’d met at least once, is great!
total side note - aa.com offers 5% discount to out of towners - we had 75% of our guests come from out of town (spain, australia, japan, taiwan, and mostly from california to chicago)
This is a great post. I am having a destination wedding and through-out the planning I tried to think of ways to accomodate our guests. Although all our guests knew a year in advance, we sent out STD’s 9 months in advance, we got airline discounts and discounted rates at several hotels and we’re also doing an OOT bag for all our guests which will include little nick-nacks plus a map and Things to do Guide in Miami. Whew!
Great tips, thanks! I would also add: If you reserve a hotel block, ensure it’s a semi-affordable hotel. Or at least present guests with an affordable option. I’ve been to weddings where the couple wants guests to experience some great hotel in town, but it’s one that’s waaaaay out of my price range.
How do you go about getting airline discounts? Most of the guest at our wedding in August 08 are going to be OOTers and that sounds intriguing to me! Thanks!
Great post, Miss Jasmine! Although we’re going to be in NYC, about 60% of our guests will probably be OOT. Thanks for the tips– I’ll definitely put them to good use.
i went to an OOTer wedding where we were escorted from the ceremony to the cocktail hour and then to the reception restaurant…by a fun party trolley. it was awesome and as an OOTer, i didn’t have to worry about directions or finding the place or being too early/late.
then again, if your venues are sprawled all over l.a., it probably wouldn’t be practical.
INFORMATION — things like hotel block info (if you get one); alternate hotel suggestions; good restaurants and activities; advice on the destination in general (practical stuff, like what kind of dress is “typical” for your city/town, or areas that are sketchy and should be avoided, etc. that guidebooks usually don’t tell you) — it’s helpful if you get a website or create a factual email/flyer that can be sent on request to people so you don’t have to keep re-writing/telling people the same things over and over again.
SPEND TIME W/ GUESTS — it’s difficult, b/c you’ll be so immersed in your wedding stuff, but it’s so worth it to set aside some meals or times to hang with your OOT-ers. We spent a LOT of $$ to go to one friend’s wedding, and I literally spent 20 minutes chatting w/ her at the wedding, and that was about it. Fortunately, there were several other friends there whom I don’t see often, and we spent several days with them, so it was well worth it, but I felt sad I didn’t get to spend much time w/ the bride! A casual get-together for many people is fun, but if you can have meals (you have to eat anyway!) w/ people, it’s a nice way to catch up (you don’t have to host them all; going dutch is fine, and you can go to cheap, fun, casual places) and also show people some of your fave places in town. We NEVER eat breakfast, but boy did we have a lot of breakfasts during our wedding week! A two-fer for me, ’cause I love brekky food, and got to spend time w/ some special people.
Someone else mentioned that you should tell people in advance about events — a good point. We assumed people knew we’d be doing something the evening after our wedding, but they didn’t, and many booked flights outta here for that afternoon and couldn’t make it.
We once attended OOT wedding where the groom told my bf that he is an usher the night before. His name was even printed on the program, so they clearly knew ahead of time. I sat through the ceremony alone and knew nobody. Not to mention it was rock church, which was rather unusual ceremony to say at least.
Also, give your guests options by blocking rooms in hotels of various price points. Some people want to stay at a cheaper hotel, some people want to enjoy themselves. Nothing wrong with either. We once attended wedding where bride and groom booked all rooms with two twin beds only ( no king or queen option in the block of rooms)…enough said.
