Wedding Blog
Back when I was in college, one of my girl friends once told me that it was improper to eat a lot in front of the opposite sex. Not only that, but she insisted that when you did eat, it should only be small and simple meals that wouldn’t be messy or make you “look like a cow” when eating them. Pasta with sauce was too slurpy and splashy. Fried chicken made your hands greasy. A hamburger required you open your mouth too wide.
“Just go and order a small salad on dates, otherwise men will think you’re a pig,” she told me. “I assure you, you’ll thank me.”
The moment the words came out of her mouth, my jaw dropped. The notion of supressing my appetite because some guy might think it was unladylike seemed insane. I mean what if you ended up getting in a long term relationship with someone? Should you be forced to suffer from malnutrition for the rest of your life because you’ve only ever eaten dinner salads in front of them?
As someone who loves food, right from the get-go in my relationship with Mr. Hummingbird, I let on I was a big eater. On our first lunch date, we not only split a spinach and cheese dip plate, but I polished off a plate full of pasta and a piece of chocolate cake. I paid for my share of food of course (I always went dutch on dates and, on this one, I actually ended up eating more than him!), but I wanted to be sure I established early on that I was not just a dainty little salad eating girl. I was someone who liked to be well fed.
Since we’ve been together, one of our absolute favourite things is to try eating together at a new place or just enjoying a hearty meal at an old favourite. So when it came to what we were going to serve our guests on our big day, I really wanted to make sure that, not only did our guests enjoy their meals but that, at the end of the day, they left feeling well fed.
I’m currently working with a caterer to hammer out a menu that ensures that everyone’s dietary needs are met (my family tends to be more in the herbivore range whereas Mr. Hummingbird’s family consists of mainly carnivores), so I was hoping that I might be able to get some help from you ladies out there on this one.
What kind of a meal stands out in your memory as enjoyable? What kinds of foods leave you feeling well fed? I don’t care if it’s messy or you have to open your mouth wide to eat it, I just want to make sure everyone has a great dinner.
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I love this post because that is totally me and Mr. Jasmine. We *love* to eat and I never, ever ate daintily in front of him. Yay for women who like to eat and aren’t ashamed of it! There was a fascinating article on this very subject in the NY Times recently and how the new trend is for women to eat *more* on dates to show how much power they have 
For me, a memorable meal is one that is well-balanced, hearty, and favorable. My favorite wedding meal of all time was nothing particularly innovative (filet mignon w/steak, grilled shrimp, potatoes and spinach), but everything was perfectly done, bursting with flavor, and it all felt really satisfying.
Sorry, I meant to say “flavorful” instead of “favorable”!
I love this post! I remember having the same conversation with myself. I knew though that I was going to be me…
On our third date we stopped off at Red Robin. I liked only two things best there…buzzard wings and malt shakes. I looked over the menu and looked at my white coat, then back at the menu. I wanted messy, yummy wings but I knew I would make a pig of myself because frankly, I don’t know how to eat nice. (I think I share more on here than I should )
I folded my menu and told him “I know it’s not really a date food, but I love these wings, so I’m going to get them.”
He had a great big smile all through dinner. He would tell me later that he loved that about me…that I was me no matter what and he found that pretty darn attractive. I must have known he was the one by then because wing sauce is not very pretty.
As for the salad theory, I object. I have a harder time eating salads that have great big unwiedly leaves, or those little stick ones that I have to get into my mouth gracefully. I was recently served a salad with a steak knife…I was simultaneously horrified and relieved.
Oh, and to answer your question…
Familiar family foods make me feel well-fed. (How’s that for alliteration.)
We had a local BBQ place serve all the delicious, messy, melt-in-your-mouth pork, chicken and beef and asked that the guests provide the side dishes. This was a first for the BBQ company, and we got a heck of a deal on all that food. We also asked the guests to make their specialties. Some folks just know their cornbread and others potato salad.
It was a wonderful thing to have all the foods we grew up with around us on our day and we felt that it was a nice addition to the family centered celebration.
FH and I LOVE to eat. He’s a former professional chef, and me? I’m just Greek. Food = love.
Yes, thank you Angel– that’s the article! That article cracked me up because on one hand I thought it was great that women could finally eat the big steaks and potatoes without guilt, but on the other hand, there is something so bizarre about reading so much into what you’re eating. Just order whatever you want!
I eat a LOT and sometimes I eat more than my fiance. He seems to be proud of me when that happens. The Korean culture is really based around food and we love our girls to gorge (but remain stick skinny, which makes me wonder how high the rate of bulimia among Korean women is). I love a well rounded meal of yummy fish, string beans/soy beans, and potatoes.
I love a slow meal with lots of courses, but that could get pricey for weddings…but I still think lots of small bites over the course of a few hours is my favorite, leaving my mouth satisfied while still not feeling “bloated”
My favorite wedding meal consists of lots of “local” fare…I love traveling out of town for weddings and being introduced to that city, whether it be cheese, wine, local produce, a particular type of fish or small farm local beef. Really, I’ll eat anything, so theres never a “particular meal” that I love, just something fresh, interesting, and makes me feel that i’ve “traveled”!
Its not about how much food you eat, but how you eat it. I love to eat, but eat with some finess. Eating with your mouth open, burping, licking, picking… I think I can safely say most people find that unattractive (can I say the only exception to that is a bbq?). I also have a harder time eating a salad vs eating a hamburger; the lettuce always ends up flying off my plate somehow:)
The most memorable meals are the home cooked ones. For some reason the movie “like water for chocolate” popped into my head-hehe. Easy to eat foods at weddings is awesome- especially if you are wearing something really nice. Bruschetta I avoid for that reason (I had it fall on my lap once at a wedding).
i love this post! i am an eater, and i’m not ashamed of it! and when fiance and first started dated, he told me that i was the best female eater that he’s ever been out with…what a great compliment!
anyways, being from texas, we are sticking with a good ol’ bbq brisket and chicken, and the usually sides: potato salad, beans, bread… we’re sticking with the texas tradition because it was too difficult to figure out a meal that was able to incorporate filipino (me) as well as czech (him) dishes.
I second the suggestion to serve local fare or food that has some personal meaning to you. For example, I’m from Vancouver and my fiance is originally from Alberta so we’re serving Alberta beef and Pacific salmon as our two options.
I also love a plate of well-balanced flavours. For salads I like a combination of flavourful ingredients such as spinach leaves, walnuts, blue cheese and dried cherries with a raspberry vinaigrette. I also like a combination of flavours for a main course so maple-glazed salmon with herbed garlic mashed potatoes and seasonal marinated vegetables would be right up my alley.
I also think that for me to leave feeling well-fed, it’s important not to overdo it. I don’t need 7 courses, you know? Even 4 is overkill. I am perfectly happy (and will leave feeling full) if I have an appetizer course or salad, a main entree, and one dessert. We decided not to serve desserts and then wedding cake as a late night snack; rather, we are serving wedding cake AS the dessert for this reason.
Hope this helps!
I love eating. The most important thing is good quality food, not fancy food. I’ve seen a lot of weddings where they try to do fancy food, but the quality is bad and the food is soggy/cold/tastes like it’s from a cafeteria. So just go with a great caterer and get whatever they do best.
Haha, I love eating, too. I’m actually digging in to a tub of hummus and tzatziki right now from TJ’s. No pita = some stale wheat bread 
Oh well, I digress.
My well-fed foods are comfort foods– whether it’s a big steaming bowl of pho or some baby back ribs or a burger– those are the kinds of food that fill me up. I love weddings that fill me up (especially the 10-course Vietnamese/Chinese ones)!
Our second date consisted of ordering in take out to my hubby’s apartment and holing up to watch lots and lots of movies and basketball.
Looking back, he always points out the fact that I ate like a champ that day as something he liked about me from the start - I wasn’t afraid to be myself
I love this post. Ms. H, you are without doubt my favorite Bee–for many many reasons.
For our wedding, we knew from the beginning that we wanted to throw our entire budget into making sure everyone left well fed, even if that meant no designer dress, a cheap photographer, DIY flowers and invites, and bargain shopping for BM dresses (which it has!)
We saved enough to be able to do a slow, four course dinner of seasonal foods with paired wines, followed by cake and a sweets table with both pretty sweets to eat at the wedding, and things that can be taken home as favors. We’re hoping that our combination of fancy (wine pairing and multiple courses, an excellent caterer) and down to earth elements (familiar, hearty flavors) will make the meal memorable.
When you mentioned your “big plate of pasta,” all I could think of was eggplant parmigiana! Mmmmm.
We loooooooove to eat and cook. They say couples who cook together can do anything together. It’s true.
I introduced Mr. SP to roasted pork noodle soup. That’s our “fast food” now.
As a out and proud foodie I’ve spent a lot of time dreaming of what I would serve at my wedding(for the record I’m not engaged but after 8 years and buying a house together..well any day now!) if I had an unlimited supply of money I would hire Susur Lee to serve a his tasting menus…every delicious moment I spend in that restaurant makes me swoon!
Any wedding that offers creative delicious locally grown, in season and home cooked favorites would make me feel well fed. With atleast one creamy item..cos I loves me some cream!!
I am a proud foodie as well. I should preface this with the fact that I am tiny, 97 pounds tiny, never broke 100 pounds tiny (not by choice mind you). But I have no shame in eating. My first month of dating my fiance, I scarfed down over half a large pan pineapple, bacon, and jalapeño pizza by myself. You can imagine the shock that ensued.
My fiance frequently tells the story of our second date, when the food arrived, he looked down to pick up his fork, saying something like, “Well, I hope you like the food” and when he looked up, I had already finished :-).
As for the salad thing, I have had more than one man tell me how annoying they find salad-eating women. More often than not, I’ve been told, salad-eating women don’t enjoy other sensual pleasures, either :-).
As for memorable meals, I always like things with unusual flavors. Comfort food is lovely, too, but something a little unpredictable always delights me. I just was on a plane where they served Thai curry fish. One might think curry plane food is a terrible idea, but I was pretty happy to get something different!
[...] with sauce was too slurpy and splashy. Fried chicken made your hands greasy. A hamburger source: Well Fed, [...]
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Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto
Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist
Engagement Date: May 4, 2007
Wedding Date: June 28, 2008
Blogging Since: September 18, 2007
Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property.
About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be
the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
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