Determining The Order Of Your Bridal Party

It tends to go unspoken or just mentioned in jest. However, having attended several weddings and been a bridesmaid myself, I have observed one small potential area of tension: the order the couple chooses to arrange its bridesmaids and groomsmen. While the bridal party for the most part either seems to understand or doesn’t seem to care, I have noticed in some cases where some BMs/GMs feel slightly hurt that their names are at the bottom of the list or that they stand at the outermost end of the line.

Because the bridal party is often arranged in some kind of order of their relationship to the bride/groom, I have just noticed a few cases where a BM/GM is just a little bit hurt. But they usually don’t make a big deal out of it, since after all, it is the couple’s day and they should be able to arrange it the way they choose!

It’s a non-issue for many couples, but for others, it can sometimes get to be a big deal, especially if you have an extremely tight-knit group of friends! That has been the case for us…in fact, we have an extremely large wedding party with multiple MOHs and best men because each of these particular friends are so important to us and in no way do we want to suggest they are a lesser friend than anyone else. Among other couples I have talked to, we’ve observed a few ways that some brides/grooms have gone around this issue. To avoid this, some have arranged their wedding party as follows: :

  • By height
  • By alphabetical order
  • By how long you have known them w/o regard to how close you are
  • By age
  • Or leaving the decision up to the wedding coordinator and having nothing to do with it!

What I most likely will do is arrange my bridesmaids in chronological order in terms of when we became friends. However, I thought these questions might make for some interesting discussion…

Have any of you given this subject some thought? Was it even a concern at all? And for those of you who have already done this, how did you decide to arrange the order of your bridal party?


Mrs. Daffodil

Los Angeles
Wedding Date:
May 2014

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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    norcalbruin, Guest @ 1:42 pm

    Thank goodness for blood and height. I plan on having my bridal party in order of height while my maid of honor will be my sister (once again there is a reason behind my Mother’s madness). No harm and no foul. Come to think of it, none of my friends are that petty to even care. They’re just happy that I’m getting married and to participate in the festivities.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    AMK, Guest @ 1:43 pm

    People seriously get hurt about this stuff? Honestly!

  3. Member
    rzblna 303 posts, Helper bee @ 2:14 pm

    Yeah, I was a little hurt at being the end of the line. I know it’s stupid, but there it is.

    That’s why I plan to organize my bridal party by height.

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    Sarah, Guest @ 2:31 pm

    We did it by how long we knew them, so my side went high school friend (MOH) – college friend – work friend, and his went brother (BM) – undergrad friend – grad school friend. Come to think of it, all my attendants were 5’2″ and all his were 5’8″. With us, the towering behemoths in the middle! Rowr!

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    wsukarebear, Guest @ 2:51 pm

    I totally agree–I was surprised when a friend of mine told her about another wedding she was in, and how honored she was to be right after the MOH. In that case, the bride was ranking them in closeness, I guess.

    I did mine strictly in descending height order, so when one BM was like “oh…I’m on the end?” I just explained it was a height thing. When it comes down to it, I picked the five people whom I am closest to, and I was really concerned she thought it was about ranking, when I don’t know I could have ranked them in any way! ;-)

  6. Member
    Sar 3 posts, Wannabee @ 3:04 pm

    We arranged the groomsmen in order of best relationship to the groom (brother,BF,2ndBF,then my brother) and Bridesmaids in order of current involvement in my life (Sister, BF, Friend since Univ, Friend since highschool) It also turned out that I am closer to the people that stood “closer” to me

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    One Year Ago… » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog, Guest @ 1:58 am

    [...] Determining the Order of Your Bridal Party by Miss Daffodil [...]

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    ALISON, Guest @ 11:00 am

    what is the difference between a maid of honor and chief bridesmaid.

  9. Guest Icon Guest
    listas vip otto, Guest @ 6:44 pm

    Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favourite justification seemed to be at the internet the easiest thing to be mindful of. I say to you, I certainly get irked at the same time as other people think about worries that they just don’t realize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest and also outlined out the whole thing with no need side effect , folks could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    Hayley, Guest @ 2:55 pm

    Its easy for me because my Friends are engaged or married to my partners friends so we chose, partners
    expect for one

    My Best friend(since school)- My partners Brother
    My Friend — His friend (from UnI)
    My Sister– His Friend
    My New Friend– His friend
    My Friend from work — His new Friend

  11. Guest Icon Guest
    Hayley, Guest @ 2:56 pm

    My sister and his friend are not together. sorry didnt add it in

  12. Guest Icon Guest
    Laura, Guest @ 3:02 am

    My sister put me at the end of the line behind girls that did not even include her in their own wedding partys. I was hurt by that, maybe our 20 something years together did’t mean much to her. Now I have the painful task of how to order my own Bridesmaids!

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