It tends to go unspoken or just mentioned in jest. However, having attended several weddings and been a bridesmaid myself, I have observed one small potential area of tension: the order the couple chooses to arrange its bridesmaids and groomsmen. While the bridal party for the most part either seems to understand or doesn’t seem to care, I have noticed in some cases where some BMs/GMs feel slightly hurt that their names are at the bottom of the list or that they stand at the outermost end of the line.
Because the bridal party is often arranged in some kind of order of their relationship to the bride/groom, I have just noticed a few cases where a BM/GM is just a little bit hurt. But they usually don’t make a big deal out of it, since after all, it is the couple’s day and they should be able to arrange it the way they choose!
It’s a non-issue for many couples, but for others, it can sometimes get to be a big deal, especially if you have an extremely tight-knit group of friends! That has been the case for us…in fact, we have an extremely large wedding party with multiple MOHs and best men because each of these particular friends are so important to us and in no way do we want to suggest they are a lesser friend than anyone else. Among other couples I have talked to, we’ve observed a few ways that some brides/grooms have gone around this issue. To avoid this, some have arranged their wedding party as follows: :
- By height
- By alphabetical order
- By how long you have known them w/o regard to how close you are
- By age
- Or leaving the decision up to the wedding coordinator and having nothing to do with it!
What I most likely will do is arrange my bridesmaids in chronological order in terms of when we became friends. However, I thought these questions might make for some interesting discussion…
Have any of you given this subject some thought? Was it even a concern at all? And for those of you who have already done this, how did you decide to arrange the order of your bridal party?
- Los Angeles
- Wedding Date:
- May, 2008
- Rancho del Cielo, Malibu, CA