Wedding Blog
Last summer our local newspaper ran an article about the growing trend of bridal blogs. At the time it was particularly interesting because my family & friends didn’t know the extent of my own bridal blogging. The brides interviewed ranged from women who had created “wed-sites” to women who were letting online readers choose specific details of their weddings via online polls. Honestly, nothing there shocked me, as I was quite familiar with the online wedding planning sensation. Still, it did get me thinking about my own bridal blogging journal.
After getting engaged, I turned to such online sites like TheKnot and LiveJournal for ideas. It amazed me that there were always new posts appearing on these communities, and when I posted I almost instantly received tons of feedback from other brides just like me! It was only a matter of time before my involvement in these communities deepened from occasionally commenting and absorbing ideas, to rushing home after dress shopping and posting tons of pictures. It was then that I revealed my new obsession to Mr. Chickadee. He was indulgent at first, laughing good-naturedly when I talked about my “friends” online. However, when I told him not to go snooping around my websites because there were dress pictures there, he changed his tune a little.
“You put pictures of yourself online?”
Um, yes, of course I do. (I also put pictures of him online). He knew this, of course, as I absolutely lived for the picture feature on Facebook. But still, he was worried. I tried to insist that these were “locked” communities, or message boards for brides only, but he was still skeptical, insisting all sorts of creepy people could be lurking about, looking at these pictures. I kept insisting that this wasn’t the case, but maybe he had a point.
Sure, I use an alias and blur out the names on my save the date mock ups, but I was still telling people where we lived and when we were getting married, not to mention showing them all how smoking hot I was in a big white dress (hehe).
In addition to those predators out there who want to glean personal information from your wedding plans, there’s the (perhaps more common) problem that arises when you rant about an AWOL bridesmaid or crazy family member in your blog and it gets back to her. I try to prevent this by never putting something on my blog that I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my mom/grandma/mother-in-law/little sister read.
I still maintain you can do it in a safe way, so long as you’re careful about not giving away too much private information, but perhaps it is a big risk we’re taking. Still, it’s a risk I’m, at least, willing to take for the sense of camaraderie and support I get from the other blogging brides-to-be out there.
So what do you guys think about sharing the intimate details of your big day with the entirety of the internet?
(For more information about safe blogging, check out the articles at ConnectSafely.)
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I’ve had a lifestyle blog for over 3 years now, on which I go by a pseudonym. So although my anonymity is somewhat compromised by my posting of pictures on a regular basis, my name isn’t out there for the whole world to search on. That seems to have kept me from getting any stalkers over the years.
The wedding blog is a different story. I put our first names on it, but never reference any last names. I’ve also felt fine about posting pictures, names of locations we’re going to be using, etc…But the blog is only visited by my family and friends. (And a few Weddingbees now and then, it seems! You seem like a relatively harmless group thus far, anyway. :))
I’ve always felt that as long as you aren’t posting (a) last names or (b) your actual home address and phone number, you’re probably going to be fine. And if someone wants to be creative enough to take my image and use it elsewhere? I really don’t care. It doesn’t effect my life in any way, since I’m not in politics or big in the media in any way. I’ve had friends for years through my blog that use their full name and post pics of themselves and everything, and they’ve been fine, too. It is what it is. We have to be careful in every aspect of our lives…the internet is no different!
My husband felt the same way when he found out I was blogging about the wedding on LiveJournal.
I also got in some trouble when one of my posts (which wasn’t friends-locked) got in to the hands of a friend of my husband’s who was planning her own wedding. I said some things I shouldn’t have and now I’ve learned my lesson. I think you should be careful what you say because you have no idea who is going to read it!
I started blurring or hiding last names and dates, etc. because I noticed that other people were doing it, too, but I guess I am a little bit naive. I mean, I know not to share things like my SSN and phone # with the Internet world, but I’m not 100% sure I understand who is “glean(ing) personal information from your wedding plans” and why.
Then again, I just read an article about a guy who posed as a guest, walked into a wedding reception, cut a “whole in the box” (and not in the fun SNL way) and did away with all the cards in the gift box (i.e.: all the money).
Is this the kind of thing to be worried about?
after being stalked by an ex-boyfriend, i keep all of my websites password protected. i’m not posting any wedding announcements, either. it’s a hassle but a necessary one.
There was an issue last summer where a woman had posted info on The Knot, and someone cancelled her wedding cake.
Just from the other side of the internet stalking fence…I originally had to do a lot of my planning from overseas which meant over the computer. By piecing together bits and pieces of information from different online sources (like a wedding announcement with someone’s last name from their online hometown newspaper, or their last name from their public wedding website) I was able to log-in to at least a dozen or so wedding picture albums on their photographers’ websites.
Now I was using this power of research for good and not evil…I just wanted to see pictures of my venue, or flowers my florists had done for a wedding, etc. and maybe it wasn’t 100% morally correct to “break in” to someone’s private album, but I was amazed at how open some brides are with their information on the internet and if I did have evil intent how easy it would have been to do something.
I know of at least one bride on my local knot board who had a group album on a photo sharing site where people could upload photos of the wedding, and the password was on one piece of her wedding stationary that she posted online…some evil person used the password and posted inappropriate photos in the album which basically ruined the whole thing for her and her friends/family.
I’d rather not take those chances personally but I was very apprecitive of the brides that were loose with their information b/c it made research a lot easier for me when I was far from home.
I keep my blog locked to friends only.. not that I have any stalkers.. I’m just paranoid. I don’t use pictures, use real names, etc.
Thanks for posting this Miss Chickadee!
That post about someone cancelling another person’s cake - yowza! My Knot bio talks about my vendors, so now I’m all paranoid!
i have my non-wedding blogs public, but i use somewhat of a pseudonym and don’t use people’s real names or just first names if they’re generic/i’m not creative enough to nickname them on there. i do post photos as RL friends who aren’t local read it to keep up with me, and everyone loves to see how you’re doing.
regarding this blog, mr. lime already knew i had a wedding blog and knot bio prior to becoming a bee. he was fine with it, then a friend had crashers at his wedding, and then a knot friend had a spiteful crazy call all her vendors off her bio and cancel them. after that, he asked me not to show our faces, the faces of our friends unless i got their permission first, and no specific info on our exact date, time, and venue. it really restricted a lot of what i could share, and i somewhat regret being not as open. however, i needed to respect the privacy of those around me, even if i was willing to put myself out there. i did get some flack from readers for always blurring out faces, but it was because of this that i did that.
now that the wedding’s over, i will be posting paper goods with our first names on it and all the details, detailed vendor reviews, etc. so i can be as helpful as many who came before me where to me during my planning process.
This also reminds me of the warning not to pur your wedding announcment into the paper until the day after to avoid unexpected “guests”.
I just started looking at blogs this summer. I started with mom blogs because my friend is part of that community. They were fun to read, but I’d never respond. (I was kind of chicken). Then I found Weddingbee and it’s one of two blogs that I comment on (still chicken). I’m not entirely sure that I’ve protected myself. It seems you glean a lot from my answers, but I try to be generic. And yeah, I’m already married, so I’m not sure what people could do with this information.
On the other hand, what about professional blogs like some vendors have? You pretty much know who they are.
It’s funny you mention this, b/c I had the exact conversation with my fiance last night. We don’t have our venue yet (you can’t book until a year out), and he was afraid people would try to book it before us.
It’s hard to think someone would do that, and I’ve been so fortunate to meet great brides in the blogging community. However, I can’t be too naive to think everyone’s good hearted.
But, like you, I’m willing to take the risk.
Well an ex broke into my myspace account changed my password and then erased some messages he didn’t want me to see from a girl he was cheating on me with! SO, I’ve since stopped using that site.
It left a really bad taste in my mouth about myspace….
But for some reason I feel totally different about wedding blogs. My bf and I have our own blog too. We too are super careful about what we put on there and also making sure not to put things we wouldnt want family to read.
I’m not worried about security on these blogs at all. Nothing I wouldn’t be telling a friend is on here anyways. I mean a stranger could see all my wedding info on an invite in a guests home too!
If someone really wants to steal the info they will find a way!
Creeps could be oogling you from anywhere. I’m not worried about it. Someone off the street could be just as likely to stalk me - but that doesn’t stop me from leaving my house!
my bf has the same concerns over my personal blog, so he’s taken to task to gently remind me about what information i post especially since i also post pictures. he’s had experiences where people have actually printed pictures of him for whatever reason, luckily this happened before us. anywho, i do my best to keep personal info out and make vague references to where i work, the city [though if you read closely i'm sure people can figure out because i'm not that subtle sometimes] but i have established some information but nothing that i’m too worried about.
if i do decide to blog about our wedding planning, which is a huge likely since i don’t really want to overload my personal blog with that info anyway, i’ll lock down the info a lot more, probably along the lines of mrs. lime until after the fact. better safe than sorry!
Ugh. I’m removing my vendors off of my knot bio RIGHT NOW. Not like it helps because I blog about them but HOW HORRIBLE is that to have someone cancel your vendors.
I’ve got a livejournal and am pretty relaxed about what I post. Although, my fiance knows about it and so do my parents so I lock any ranty posts about FMIL etc!!
I’m never quite sure about the wedding-details thing. I mean, other than the few urban legends out there, what could really become of your wedding planning details?
I do find it strange sometimes that just through casual browsing–weddingbee and then related links, vendors, etc.–that I’ll suddenly realize that I just learned one of the Bee’s “real names” or date & location, etc… Just today I recognized some photos previously posted on weddingbee on a vendor site that included the customer’s names along with the photo–though I guess they could’ve been psuedonyms too.
Just a reminder, I guess, to not air anything too sensitive that if it were eventually linked to your real name (or whatever) could cause problems…
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Mrs. Chickadee, Peoria, IL
Age and Occupation: 22, Freelance Advertising
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Mechanical Engineer
Engagement Date: February 10, 2007
Wedding Date: June, 2008
Blogging Since: September 13, 2006
Venue: Methodist Church/Country Club
About Me: My parents always said I should wait until graduating college before getting married…Mr. Chickadee and I finally graduated this past spring and we didn’t waste any time getting straight down to business. It’s been four long years, but the wedding planning is finally underway!
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