Shopping for a wedding dress appears to be one of the first things that women do once engaged.
Or, well, most women, as I waited 3.5 months before trying on my first dress.
When I first started looking at dresses, I knew exactly what I didn’t want.
Dress by Maggie Sotterro
No poof. No train.
No beading. No embroidery.
No sparkles. No sequins.
No polyester of any variety. And not strapless.
While I think that those characteristics of a dress are lovely on many women, none of those really suit my personal style, which is a lot more tailored, vintage and not really “girly” at all.
So where did I first go to try on dresses? Filene’s Basement “Running of the Brides.” (Now, according to their website, the racks are stripped clean of all dresses within 60 seconds. Not sure if it is true in other locations, but in Cleveland, that wasn’t the case. Regional differences, perhaps? Although I do think that with the promotion on the website, people who have never been before - which is most people- are told that they have to grab as many dresses as possible because if they don’t, the racks will be totally cleared and they won’t get any dresses to try on. So people grab as many dresses as possible. And then the racks are cleared in a self-fulfilling prophecy. In game theory, it’s a basic collective action problem.) Anyways, I brought my mom along for the fun of it, and it really was a blast.
The line behind us, taken shortly before 8am. We got there around 6:30am. It was freezing cold outside. News crews were around, and I did end up getting interviewed for the news, although the interviewer seemed disappointed that I (in my complete and total geekiness) wanted to talk about ways to overcome the aforementioned collective action problem instead of screaming and yelling about what sort of dress I wanted. And I am totally serious about that- in my 15 seconds of local news glory, I really did talk about solving for the equilibrium of the game.
My mom and I teamed up with the bride in front of us who had several friends with her. Conveniently, we were (roughly) the same size, but had different ideas of what we wanted. So it worked out.
And my mom did find one dress that I did really like, that began to change my mind about my dislikes. It had a train!
Dress by Romona Keveza
Ultimately, though, the dress was too small to even be altered in a good way. Turns out my wedding dress size is quite a bit larger than my normal dress size. Bummer. But that dress did show me that there are very lovely dresses out there that are not princess-y at all, with high quality fabric.
After spending 3 hours at Filene’s Basement, my mom and I figured out that I wouldn’t be getting my dress there. But we were both still up for trying on additional dresses! So we went to two other places that day- Catan’s and Julianne’s. We went to Julianne’s first, as it was more of a consignment/alterations shop than a mainstream bridal salon. It was a very cute place, but not a whole lot was in my size that looked good (actually, nothing). We then went to Catan’s, which is like the wedding industrial complex on crack. Seriously. They advertise that they are the largest bridal boutique in the country.
At Catan’s, the brisk saleswoman asked what type of gown I was hoping to wear. I mentioned Romona Keveza and other similar designers (hey! I’d just come from Filene’s where I tried on those dresses in their $799 or less goodness!) , and were brought to their “couture” room. Tried on some dresses, and the saleswoman remained more or less abandoned us.
The saleswoman returned, and perhaps in trying her best (failed) attempt to be polite, asked me very insincerely where I was from, and where the wedding and reception were going to be held. My mother and I told her, and her entire demeanor did a complete 180. She became super sugary sweet, bringing in the seamstress when I was asking about alterations, asking for my information (which I did not give to them), the works.
I would never give business to people who treat you like crap until they think that you have deep pockets.
Anyways, that is the beginning of the search for my dress, back in April. I didn’t again go shopping for a dress until July…
I’m right there with you princesskittyHI…and it seems to happen in the places you’d expect quality service through and through.
Oh, and yeah the whole wedding dress size being smaller than the regular clothes. I don’t know how that came to be, but it’s sort of a downer. I know that it’s just numbers, but I couldn’t help looking at my dress and wondering where the size 16 came from.
I had all of the same rules… and somehow the dress I love has a train, even though it fits all of the other criteria you mentioned! 
Ah, well, you just have to pick what you like best from the options that are presented to you. Custom designs are too time-consuming and expensive for me.
I’m so sorry to hear about your experience at Catan’s- I actually had the exact opposite experience! I got my prom dress there 6 years ago and decided to give it a shot for my bridal gown after crappy service at David’s Bridal- and they were WONDERFUL. I even ended up hiring a DOC from there who is fabulous.
Hopefully you ended up with better luck at the next places you tried… And yeah… even if you think you don’t want a particular type of dress, don’t necessarily rule them out. I definitely thought that I didn’t want an A-line… but that’s what my perfect dress ended up to be!
I loved this post because this is completely me as well! I’ve loved planning the details for my wedding but haven’t stepped foot into a bridal store and am kind of dreading it…I’m going to have to go soon!
Yeah, I found it was night and day between the shop we both ultimately went through (won’t spoil the surprise!) and Catans and the (sorry) lower end shops. I went to a place called Galleria Gowns (others have loved it there to be fair) and the sales people were just annoying, not to mention the dresses were cheap and itchy yet still cost more than a $1000! They’d bring me stuff that CLEARLY was not what I had asked for and swear up and down that the giant pink and gold cupcake dress that I tried on as a joke looked spectacular on me. Ugh. On top of that, they did try to get me to give them way more info than was necessary and it just rubbed me the wrong way. Then I went to the boutique where I ended up getting my dress and it was a divine experience where every dress I tried on felt spectacular and the sales people were perfection.
I love that I love my dress shop and everyone who works there. I could have probably found a much less expensive dress but then I wouldn’t have the great experience I have at my boutique. So, i guess my point is that it makes a world of difference to love your dress shop and not just your dress!
angel and other girls who may wonder the same thing:
i can explain why bridal dress size numbers are larger than your street size clothing. most wedding dresses run by real pattern sizes. i hope i can explain this clearly. in real pattern sizes, the smallest size is actually around a size 6. so if you go to buy a pattern, you can see your measurements and that it’ll line up with a larger size number (XS is about a 6, S around an 8, etc) this is the way sizing always was until a designer decided to make the numbers a little smaller to make women feel better about themselves and want to purchase their merchandise because it was a smaller size (tricky, huh?). then the numbers kept getting smaller and smaller until we have what we have today. i’m in fashion design and the dress forms we used in school and in the industry, the smallest women’s size i’ve seen is a 6 (and it’s tiny~!) so don’t feel bad about the large size number..it’s just a number after all
I too live in the cleveland area. I tried on wedding dresses at Catans by myself. That wasn’t a problem at other shops. But at Catans I had to struggle in and out of this dresses all by myself. The salespeople totally disappeared on me! I’d walk out the dressing room for assistance and it looked like a ghost town! They were not kind, I felt like cattle as I was in there. Ultimately I purchased my dress elsewhere, and when my friends get engaged I tell them about the horrible service.
I live in a small town VA where we have one wedding boutique. I have never heard a nice thing said about their customer service. It’s a college town so I’m sure most of there customers are younger - so what! That doesn’t mean you can treat them like sh@t I wouldn’t have even gone there except I REALLY wanted to try on dresses and the next town with shops is 45 minutes away!! The dress I chose was actually carried by the local shop and one of the shops 45 min away - I really wanted to give my business to the other shop (they were so nice and helpful) but went with the convenience of the local shop. Driving 45 min (one way) for every dress alteration and pick-up didn’t excite me. After the process was said and done - I still kinda wish I’d gone with the other shop
It irks me people feel they have the right to give crappy customer service!!
David’s Bridal is another one - I can’t stand to go in there!
[...] I spent a grand total of two days trying on dresses. I went to four stores, including the Filene’s basement extravaganza. The first three I have already blogged about here. [...]
Maggie Sotterro seems to be very popular but I can’t figure out why. Jilian, I can understand your preference for choosing the shop that was closest to you. That influenced my decision as well. I needed a shop that had hours that suited my schedule (later in the evening and open on Sundays).
Ms. Dahlia, Detroit/Cleveland
Age and Occupation: 24, PhD Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, IT System Administrator
Engagement Date: December 31, 2006
Wedding Date: May 2008
Blogging Since: September 19, 2007
Venue: United Methodist Cathedral & historic downtown hotel in Cleveland
About Me: I enjoy cooking, dancing and swimming. I am a geek and apply game theory to my everyday life. Winter is my favorite time of year, especially when spent curled up with good coffee and a book by Madeleine L'Engle.
Ugh! I totally hate people like that! In addition to it being very nasty to begin with, what, do they think you’re so stupid that you can’t *tell* that they’ve all-of-a-suddent changed their whole demeanor? I also hate the waitstaff who are indifferent at best throughout the entire dinner until it gets to dessert, and then they’re all sweet to you. Bleah.
I never wavered on my dress; I’d known what I’d wanted for years…but sometimes I do wish that I’d had the whole trying on a plethora of pretty dresses experience…