What I Would Do Again
October 22nd, 2007 @ 4:17 pm by Mrs. Butterscotch
The longer we have been married, the more I have had a chance to look back on the day. It all happened so fast, but I think we really made the most of it. If I had to do it again, here is what I would not change and would recommend for other brides.
1. Take a moment after the ceremony and before the reception to talk with your new husband. Mr Butterscotch and I actually had two moments. First as we exited, we waited for our guest to go outside and we were in a stairwell. We had this short time of about 3 minutes all alone to just take in each other and the amazing thing we had just experienced. Then we took a few pictures and walked to our reception venue. Again we were alone together and we talked about the day so far and what we had each done the night before and that morning. As we walked, passing cars honked and yelled congratulations. We both couldn’t stop smiling at each other. I think all couples should take a few moments together to just reflect about the ceremony and enjoy a quite moment before the reception.
Us right before we hid away in the stairwell.
2. Day of coordinator. When my friend got married last year she had Amanda as her wedding coordinator. After the wedding I heard the bride say many times that Amanda was irreplaceable. I was so lucky that Amanda was available to be my day of wedding coordinator. She was amazing! She went to our reception venue and supervised as the vendors arrived. She is an interior designer by day, but is available for day of coordination or she can help plan from start to finish. Amanda has a refreshing passion for weddings. With her at the venue it really kept my mind at ease while I was at the church getting ready to walk down the aisle. When Amanda was done she made it to the church to give me the thumbs up, so I knew the guests would be walking into a room that was perfect!
This was one of the best things that I did because it kept me calm and my mind off of what was going on down at the club. Unfortunately she doesn’t have a web site yet (she is working on it), but you can contact her at amandatrinb@yahoo.com.
3. Plan early. I was made fun of for planning right after we set a date, but for me that was so helpful. Everything was done well in advance and I never felt rushed.
4. Eat breakfast. I, like most brides, was so excited I was up an hour before I needed to be. So I sat down with my dad and ate breakfast. Thank goodness I did because I didn’t eat again for hours.
5. Give yourself a deadline on projects. I set a date for myself and if it wasn’t done by the week before the wedding, well then it wasn’t getting done. I had the whole weekend before the wedding to relax and really enjoy what was to come.
6. Realize it’s about a marriage not a wedding. Sometimes it is hard to remember that as the day gets closer. Weddings are exciting and it really easy to have moments where you and your family forget what the day is really about. Keep reminding yourself that this is just a moment, and the really important thing is a good foundation for a happy marriage.
7. Let it go. About two weeks before the wedding I started to let go of things. If the questions that were being asked were not going to have a lasting effect on our marriage, my response was “I don’t care”. We just had so much going on with buying our house, getting married, amd going on a honeymoon, I just didn’t care about what color nail polish was going on people’s toes.
8. Videotape the ceremony. We didn’t have a budget for a professional video; instead we had our friend tape our ceremony and other key parts of the day. I was so happy he did! The next morning we watched the video and I cried all over again! Sure it may not be fancy but it is well worth it if you know someone with a camera.
9. Savor each moment! From the moment you get up to the time you drive away with your new husband, savor the all moments that occur that day.
10. Thank the key people personally. Although I thanked my dad throughout the planning, the first thing I did as we came into the reception was thank him. Last week I gave him his birthday gift - it was a picture of us at the wedding. He loved it! He is currently thinking of where to hang it in the living room for it. Whether you plan on giving your family or bridesmaids and groomsmen a gift or not, be sure to just thank them for taking time to be with you during the day. They really do appreciate it.
What would you recommend to a bride to be?
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14 Responses to “What I Would Do Again”
Thank you so much! This was one of my favorite posts! It’s amazing how easy it is to lose focus when you’re in the midst of planning something so large. Your post really brought me back down to what we’re really doing this for. I swear I’m about to cry sitting at my desk at my office just thinking about that first moment we have alone. Thank you!
Great list! I think you’ve covered everything I could think of. I wish I would have done #5.
thank you for these tips! I’m definitely going to stick with your #5…thats an awesome one 
wonderful list- i’ll be sure to keep it handy.
If no one has a camera or you’re afraid someone will shoot it and never give you the tape or has too old of a video camera…invest in one and hand it over to someone to film the day of the wedding. You can always use the camera again in the future or on your honeymoon.
That is exactly what we did Mrs Snow Pea! We used our own camera but had a friend tape it. That way we knew we would get the tape and we used the camera on other trips we have been on.
Yay, I am happy to see that you are from Seattle too! 
I’ll contact Amanda once I set a date and location for my wedding Thanks for that advise!
Sage advice, Mrs. Butterscotch!
Make a point throughout the day to take a moment and drink everything in: the view, the activities, sights and sounds, and of course the fact you have just gotten married. Slow the moment down and try to imprint it into your mind.
Walk slowly down the aisle. My mom (who escorted me) twice told me I was practically running. While she may have exagerated just a wee bit; I did slow down and remember turning the corner to see my future DH - talk about a moment frozen in time!
Accept the fact that no matter how much planning you have done and whether or not you have a DOC, things will go wrong. It’s life!
I highly recommend putting together a detailed day of schedule and distributing to everyone involved in the wedding. Everyone. Include contact numbers (cell, not office). This proved invaluable at throughout the day. I’m happy to share mine, btw.
Last but not least, remember to drink plenty of water. During your wedding you won’t be able to eat as much as you’d like (another fact of life) but ppl will be handing you glass upon glass of wine, champagne, etc. The extra water will help!
I have to add:
1) if you’ve taken sleeping pills before and know how they’ll affect you, then take only enough to get a good night sleep the night before your wedding (just to be safe). I was EXHAUSTED the night before the wedding due to the planning and late nights and figured I’d be out all night, but I woke up only after 2 hours of sleep at 1:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep (I tried everything!). The next morning, I was so tired and frusterated with the lack of sleep that I was crying and not fun to be around. Not what I pictured the morning of my wedding!
2) MAKE LISTS!! you’ll be so scatterbrained (even with a planner), that it’s nice to have lists of what to have with you when and when to do things. I had to quickly write a card to my folks while I was getting my hair done. I wish I had planned it out better to make the sentiments more heart-felt. Also, I had to make several trips to the church for the rehearsal since I kept forgetting things at home to give to my planner and to leave at the church the day before the wedding.
3) If you’re going to take pictures during cocktail hour, ask your caterer to make a separate plate of each hors d’oeuvres and/or dessert (for later) for you and your hubby. We got to our cocktail our late and while we went into the dining area to have a moment alone to look at everything, they gave us a plate of each of the hors d’oeurves (except my favorite one=(). It was a nice touch since we didn’t have time to grab/eat anything because of the pictures. I wish we they had done the same for our desserts (sweets table). I went back to get some later on in the evening and everything was gone. We missed out on our favorite sweets (key lime pie and such).
You ladies are full of wonderful ideas! I esp like #8. We hadn’t been planning on videotaping any of the ceremony/reception but after hearing all your comments I think we’ll at least have a friend set up a camera on the side or something
[...] week I talked about what I would not change. But there were a few thing that I would have loved to have a do-over [...]
Mrs. Butterscotch, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 29, Advertising Sales Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, City Worker
Engagement Date: September 24, 2006
Wedding Date: August 11, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: church ceremony and private club reception
About Me: I am marrying my high school sweetheart 11 years after high school ended! I am a self professed shoe fanatic with a closet full of shoes and only two feet. Planning a wedding has been my fun project since he surprised me with a proposal in Paris. We are spending our last few months preparing for our big day by wrapping up all the small things, buying a house and best of all preparing to live together for the first time.
Amen to point #6.