Weddingbee Blog

My parents are paying for the entire thing and they’ve been AWESOME at letting us choose exactly what we want. They give some opinions here and there, but they really have left us to our own devices. I know that’s probably rare so I’m especially thankful for that.

my parents and his parents split the reception catering and venue costs (40% of the whole wedding) - but everything else was us. They weren’t involved with planning at all, so I made all the decisions myself and just sent invites to a couple of their close friends.

We’re still early in the planning process so not much parental involvement yet. I’m very lucky because my parents always believed int he the Chinese way, which the groom’s side pays for it all. However, since FSIL married “american” way - that was not going to happen. My parents were kind enough to give me a budget and haven’t said much else. I am trying ahrd to stay on budget, and anything over, I FI has offered to pay. The future in laws (I am told) will pay for rehersal dinner, honeymoon, and a dinner (mostly their friends) when we get back from our DW.

40% my maternal grandmother, 10% mom, 10% dad (they’re divorced), 20% me & FI, 20% + honeymoon FILs.

So I guess I could say, we’re all contributing So far, FI and I are making most of the decisions and everyone’s ok with that.

My mom paid for our entire wedding, with a small portion coming from hubby’s step-dad. She’s my best friend in the world and we’re practically identical twins - so she was definitely involved in most of the planning. There were a couple things she had strong opinions on (like the invitations being addressed formally and by hand, FI and I not seeing each other the morning off, etc) but for the most part she was behind whatever we wanted I really cherish our relationship and loved every second of planning our wedding with her!

The one issue we did have that was wedding/money related was how to word the invitations. Let’s see if I can lay the groundwork and explain this. My hubby is not close with his father at all, they were estranged for a bit. We see them about once a year and that’s mainly to see his half-siblings, all four of which are grade school aged. We did want to invite them to the wedding, but they were not invited to any of the other wedding festivities. (His sister didn’t even tell him she was getting married!)

Hubby’s mother passed away about 9 months before our wedding. His step-dad has been a huge influence on his life and shaping him into who he is today. He was his best man. He gave us money towards the wedding. etc etc.

In my opinion an invitation is written to include those that are hosting the party. So we were going to word it:

“Mrs (my mom) and Mr (his step-dad) invite you to share in the happiness as their families are united through the marriage of their children”

Different yes, but because of the family dynamics it just seemed right. Had his mom been alive she would have been included with his step-dad. I felt like our deceased parents were represented with their ‘better halves’, even if their names weren’t written.

Well with the high emotions of the wedding (ours seemed to be super emotional - it’s really hard to plan a wedding when two of the most important people in your life are in heaven) and his relationship with his dad, hubby kinda flipped out the week I was supposed to be approving them! He worried his father would be offended he wasn’t included on the invite etc. I explained my logic and reminded him his father never offered us any assistance for the wedding - and therefore wasn’t a host - and therefore wasn’t on the invitation. It’s a touchy subject and my eyes were definitely opened to a lot of emotions my husband likes to keep buried.

We considered creating a unique invite just for his dad, as he already had a unique ’schedule’. In the end we left the invites as is, and sent to everyone. What would you have done. Are you taking into account who’s paying when you word your invitations??

We are splitting the wedding budget into thirds. So far, this is working out really well! Everyone is getting input, which can be a little crazy, but on the other hand, everyone is being represented.

It’s also (obviouly) a huge help to us financially, as we’re relatively young and just starting out.

The whole shebang is going to be around $10K, so nobody has to go into debt for our special day. Starting life as Mr. & Mrs. with no looming wedding debt is as important to me as any other detail.