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Mrs. Chickadee, Peoria, IL Age and Occupation: 22, Freelance Advertising Fiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Mechanical Engineer Engagement Date: February 10, 2007 Wedding Date: June, 2008 Blogging Since: September 13, 2006 Venue: Methodist Church/Country Club About Me: My parents always said I should wait until graduating college before getting married…Mr. Chickadee and I finally graduated this past spring and we didn’t waste any time getting straight down to business. It’s been four long years, but the wedding planning is finally underway!
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10 Biggest Mistakes Guests Make

November 1st, 2007 @ 2:41 pm by Mrs. Chickadee

I stumbled across this article today, written by Miles Stiverson, and thought I’d see what the hive thinks.According to Stiverson, these are the 10 biggest mistakes guests make at weddings:

1. Not sending RSVPs
2. Sending RSVPs with extra guests
3. Bombarding the bride with phone calls and questions
4. Buying a non-registry gift
5. Showing up late
6. Bringing a big, heavy gift
7. Giving unexpected toasts
8. Requesting songs
9. Drinking too much
10. Crashing your wedding

Would I be a horrible Bee if I admitted to committing one or two of these party fouls? Is it my fault I thought my sister needed a pretty set of Vera Wang toasting flutes for her bridal shower? Can I really be held accountable if I thought the reception was sorely lacking a few Barry Manilow tunes? Should I have been more watchful of Mr. Chickadee’s drinks so he didn’t end up like this at the end of the night?

10 Biggest Mistakes Guests Make :  wedding etiquette peoria Drunkal drunkal

Ok, all joking aside, what do you ladies think of this list of rules? What do you find the most heinous offense? Any you think can be taken off the list? Did Stiverson miss anything that ought to be added to the Polite Guest Handbook?

Tags: etiquette, peoria |
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58 Responses to “10 Biggest Mistakes Guests Make”

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1.
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Member
acklesgrl (message)  39 posts, Newbee

4. Buying a non-registry gift <- I personally don’t see anything wrong with this. Registry is meant to give ideas of what the brides/grooms need, but there’s no rule that all gifts have to come from registry.

 
2.
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Bee
Miss Daffodil (message)  565 posts, Busy bee

crashing is the WORST i think! there are some ppl you didn’t invite for a reason ;-) i think the unexpected toasts one is OK if it is good and fitting, but those are risky, especially if they already messed up on #9!

other things that should be added: coming scantily clad! i’ve seen some guests wear stuff that was like, uhhh WHAT are you wearing!

 
3.
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Member
karieck (message)  37 posts, Newbee

Those are good!
But I actually just went to a wedding where the DJ went around asking for song requests! HA!
I am also one that veers away from the registry too but usually only for the bridal shower! I always stay to the registry for the actual wedding gift!

Oh and one thing he should clarify better is, ppl need to always SEND the gift and not bring it to the wedding. But that was sorta covered when he said, don’t bring a heavy gift!

 
4.
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Guest
Rebecca

Aww come on, what kind of wedding doesn’t have at least one great drunken toast?
I kind of think upstaging the bride with your outfit should be on the list.

 
5.
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Guest
thistleorchid

I’d add bringing children without checking with someone close to the party like a mom or bridesmaid first. Which is kinda covered by number two, but that’s assuming they RSVP’d in the first place!

 
6.
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Guest
ladyjeni

Love drunken toast…hate non rsvp-ing guests. Mind reading is not a specialty of mine so I’m still having trouble getting over the fact people can’t send a card back. AHHHH!

 
7.
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Guest
uisinger

I cannot agree enough with #9 - tacky, tacky, tacky. It’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

 
8.
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Member
illinibride (message)  7 posts, Newbee

I’m gonna go with #1 and #2. Is it REALLY that hard to check a box on a pre-addressed, stamped envelope saying whether or not you’ll come to a party where they’ll be given a free meal? I don’t get it. Also, it’s pretty bad to bring extra, uninvited people to said meal. :)

 
9.
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Member
chill (message)  244 posts, Helper bee

We had an unexpect song sang and toast given by my father in law’s father! What came off as incredibly sweet to guests who don’t know him, was horrific for my husband’s family. He’s notorious for always trying to steal the spotlight and just crazy. He also said, “It’s not everyday a grandfather is asked to give a toast on their wedding day.” Um, we never asked you sir. Plus, he sang a song from the 50’s that no one recognized, and it was off key.

Guests inviting more people is the worst I think. They forget that each person costs money, and even worse, some people feel ENTITLED to bring more people. The nerve!

 
10.
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Bee
Miss Lovebird (message)  1,002 posts, Bumble bee

8. Requesting songs isn’t that bad. That is, if the guest truly wants to hear and dance to it. Or if it reminds the bride or groom of a special moment they shared with the guest. As long as it’s not grossly inappropriate, I wouldn’t mind my guests requesting songs.

 
11.
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Bee
Miss Jasmine (message)  1,170 posts, Bumble bee

I think crashing is the worst one listed– who shows up to a wedding they weren’t invited to? (although if vince vaughn and owen wilson want to crash mine, they’re more than welcome!)

I don’t think buying off-registry is terrible. Sometimes the most personal, thoughtful gifts are ones you didn’t register for.

I would add (1) drinking too much and (2) dressing inappropriately to that list.

 
12.
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Bee
Miss Lovebird (message)  1,002 posts, Bumble bee

OOOOOOO~ Miss Chickadee I have one to add on the list~ Having a guest wearing white at the wedding. Reminds me of The Office episode when Kelly wears white to Phyllis’ wedding.

 
13.
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Bee
Miss Jasmine (message)  1,170 posts, Bumble bee

Oops drinking too much is already on there.

 
14.
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Guest
boutiquegirl

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying something off the registry. I wouldn’t expect gifts at all, but if a guest chose to give me something, I’d love for it to be something with meaning. Registries are just for people who don’t know what to give, IMO.

That being said, I always buy off the registry. ;)

 
15.
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Guest
SKK

Ugh. Non-registry gifts are the worst.

We aren’t into having lots of “stuff” so a great deal of thought and time went into our registries. We returned, exchanged, or donated to goodwill all of our non-registry gifts.

 
16.
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Guest
Ashley

I totally agree with Miss Lovebird - I went to a wedding where a girl showed up in white with a little blue flower on the back. But it was awful- definetly trying to steal the spotlight from the bride! So RUDE!

 
17.
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Guest
Arivechi

I am raising my hand to say that off-registry gifts aren’t always bad. If you know the bride and or groom well enough to know they’d love this other thing then why not get it for them? Especially if it’s something unique and not sold at Crate & Barrel or Macys. Not to say just ANYONE should go off-registry. Nothing I gave my college roommate was on her registry. If you don’t know the couple well or know what their home is like, then stick to the list.

I know that I’d really love one of our guests to find us a nice unique wooden salad bowl and severs… but that’s not something that I can bluntly ask for or indicate anywhere on our registry. And I don’t want to spread the word too much because I only want one wooden bowl, not 5.

 
18.
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Guest
kgr

1. RSVP’ing and then not showing up. So. Rude.

2. I will second the wearing white comments.

 
19.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Peony (message)  314 posts, Helper bee

Hmm I’m definitely guilty of requesting songs (I do that at almost every wedding I’ve been to!) and I’ve gotten drunk at one wedding. :-P

I don’t think buying something off the registry isn’t too bad either, just as long as you know the couple’s tastes and you think it’ll be more meaningful.

 
20.
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Member
MissFlamingo (message)  90 posts, Worker bee

I agree with the list… but add the wearing white one!
For sure every wedding will have at least 3 of these points present at their wedding…

to avoid it you would have to send the rules to your guests ahead of time… but then they would think you were rude… a vicious cycle I tell you ;)

 
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Mrs. Chickadee
Mrs. Chickadee

Mrs. Chickadee, Peoria, IL Age and Occupation: 22, Freelance Advertising Fiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Mechanical Engineer Engagement Date: February 10, 2007 Wedding Date: June, 2008 Blogging Since: September 13, 2006 Venue: Methodist Church/Country Club About Me: My parents always said I should wait until graduating college before getting married…Mr. Chickadee and I finally graduated this past spring and we didn’t waste any time getting straight down to business. It’s been four long years, but the wedding planning is finally underway!

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