Wedding Blog
I made the executive decision this week to hire a day-of wedding planner, and I can’t tell you how I happy I am that I did.
Other bees have blogged from both sides of this issue: those who went without one on their special day said they managed just fine, thank you very much, and those who did have one said it was an asset they couldn’t have done without. I guess it’s the kind of thing you don’t need, but is nice to have, if you can afford it. For me, I had just started to feel, with four months to go, like things were getting just a bit too crazy for just my own little body to shoulder all the weight. I’m happy someone else is sharing the load now!
So, what will this person (and her two assistants) do for me?
Here’s some of it: verify that all vendor contracts are on the up-and-up and then confirm with all vendors a month before the wedding, two weeks before the wedding, and a day before the wedding; create timelines for me and my wedding party members; organize and orchestrate the rehearsal; check-in all vendors on wedding day; distribute all tip moneys and any remaining payments; make sure guests know how to get from the parking area to the ceremony area (ceremony is not in hotel itself, but a little bit across the way…); set up all favors, place cards, signs, along with all other wedding “stuff,” as well as collect all necessary things at the end of the night to return safely to us (such as toasting flutes, etc.); set-up aisle runner and ribbon to keep guests from walking on it; cue wedding procession & music; organize gift table setup for guests arriving at ceremony and then re-transport to reception site (in another area of hotel, and eight floors up); cue entrances, first dance, cake cutting, etc.; take Polaroid pictures of guests and encourage guests to sign the guestbook; help our friends “prepare” our honeymoon suite, and so on and so on…
Having a day-of-coordinator could be an asset in other ways, too. A thread in our Weddingbee boards last month discussed whether having one could actually save you money, even though you were putting out money to hire one. I can see how it may… because of the business relationships the DOC’s develop and the many weddings they get to work on, they start to know who is a reliable vendor and who isn’t, which might perhaps save you money in the long run, keeping you from hiring someone who could possibly be a money pit or just a lousy vendor!
I think I literally sighed with relief when I signed my contract and handed over my payment (which like with all other vendors is negotiable: get the best deal you can!). I feel like come the big day I can concentrate on being a ball of nerves due to the fact that I’m getting married, but not so much because I’m orchestrating a wedding.
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I think you will be so glad you made this decision. I’ve heard from multiple people that a good DOC is worth every penny. My DOC has been a constant, unwavering source of support, advice, and guidance. My wedding is seven months away and I’m already SO glad I hired her.
Oh yay!!! Congratulations on making a wonderful decision. I think you will really love getting to your wedding day and having your only worry be to show up!!
Haha. Miss Petunia, I love the post title! We hired one, too (much to Mr. C’s dismay), but I’m already loving her lots. Mr. C has come around and really appreciates that I won’t be crazed on the day of the wedding. Plus, we’ve got a huge guest list and I can’t deal with herding everyone around myself.
In retrospect, I’m glad I hired a DOC, but I keep wondering just how much she actually did. I’d make sure you have your expectations straight for the day of, and in writing, because our coordinator often went missing at key moments, and while things did run smoothly I’m not sure how much she had to do with it.
Im happy for you… not sure I will though… but then again maybe my 4 month mark will make me change my mind!!!
I’m actually a wedding coordinator by profession, but I’m undecided about my own wedding! I don’t want to be running around on my own day but I also know I’ll have things pulled together well.
I’m glad you’ve made your decision and are less stressed out, though!
bouquetgirl~
The lawyer who represents him/her self has a fool for a client!
Do yourself a HUGE favor hire a DOC - so you can be the guest of honor and not the target of all wedding issues!
Congrats Ms. Petunia!
Smart move!
About how much would a DOC cost? I know it varies from area to area–so can you say something like…”big metro city price :$___” or share your city/state & price?
It’s so interesting that you just posted this… I am having some “issues” with my planner this morning. (Full time wedding planner- not a DOC). And this post reminds me of the all the GOOD reasons to have a planner to help!!!!
Just a small warning, if you are crazy detail oriented and organized (like me), your planner isn’t necessary going to be as on top of your wedding as you are.
I just re-read my post and it sounded like I don’t like my planner or something. That’s not true, I really like my planner. I just sometimes feel like I’m too far ahead of everyone including the planner. I definitely love having a planner though and it has made my life much easier.
I wasn’t sure a DOC could save money just on the day-of, but I actually saw a good example this summer.
The couple had their wedding at a hotel and while the guests were getting crazy on the dance floor, the coordinator I was assisting was going over the contract with the hotel staff. It seems they wanted to add charges for the espressso cart, and she fought them on it saying that they time allowed was the time agreed upon and they were not going to be charged extra just because they wanted to send their staff person home. It worked out and the couple wasn’t charged (yay!).
Thank you so much for this post. If you hire a DOC and you didn’t have to worry about your wedding the day of the wedding, then your DOC did all the right things. Lot of tasks that DOCs do are discrete and subtle, so it’s not something you should see being done out in the open. One of the many things I do during the reception, is keep an eye on the brides bustle. So many times, the bride doesn’t even notice that her bustle hook was undone and half her train is being stepped on or ready for her to trip over. Also, a DOC will make sure your guests are happy and everything is going according to the timelines.
Hi everyone, I am recently engaged and I was wondering, who is in charge of the actual ceremony if you have no DOC? I’m debating hiring one, HELP!!!
a:
I live in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area, and I’ve seen all costs: some as low as $300, but those mostly from people who didn’t have that much experience, or were trying to get started in the business or weren’t part of any associations (though I am not sure how much stock to put on that…)
Then a couple of other ones quoted me something like $1500 — I almost had a heart attack! I thought that was a bit much for a DOC, though I know they all say it’s more than the “day-of,” and I don’t disagree…
For the most part, I got quotes around $750-$1000 or so.
I’m with you - I hired a planner, but to simply do DOC duties. She’s helped in recommending vendors as I hired her 1 year in advance and has been such a shoulder already! Any NorCal brides looking for a very professional, seasoned event coordinator (and affordable too!), contact Michelle at http://www.eleganteventsbymichelle.com
Deb, You would need to check with your ceremony venue. In some churches, they do have their office staff be the ceremony coordinator, or sometimes your officiant can help you. However, a DOC is great because he/she can also be the keeper of the door (opening for the wedding party and reopening for your grandentrance) and be a great reminder to your girls on how to hold their flowers, when to walk, how fast to walk, etc.
i’d like to have a doc. with all the effort i’ll already be putting into planning the whole shindig, the thought of just handing it off to someone else to coordinate and execute the day of is a major relief.
a member of my church had two other members help decorate/set up the reception for her and they ended up missing the entire ceremony. plus they ended up running around during most of the reception doing other things. i wouldn’t want to have my friends and family miss our day.
I am also undecided on hiring a DOC too as I have been my friends’ DOC on a few occasions and know that I will have everything very organized prior to my wedding. However, if you do have a lot of moving parts to your wedding or notice 2 months out that there are a lot of items that are not done, HIRE A DOC RIGHT AWAY! I cannot stress this enough!!!
I was just a DOC to a girl I met on another board who had a lot of items that were not done two weeks from her wedding. I really believe that she would not be married today if she hadn’t found me. I had to take care of too many things on that day to mention here but it would have been impossible for her to have dealt with everything I did for her as distraught as she was that day!
Deb: do you mean to help you coordinate the rehearsal and get people out in order during the procession? Is there a coordinator at the place where you are having the ceremony?
Miss Petunia - We don’t have a place yet sooo we don’t know.. but I do mean to just keep the procession running smoothly and things like that. Is there usually someone at the venue to keep everything under control?? Thanks soo much!
We didn’t have a coordinator (since ever penny counted), but had our friends and family help us out instead. It worked, everything got done and there were only a few things I had to let go of. But that’s the thing….most of our guests were working our wedding; they didn’t get to actually be guests. They were all fabulous, and I loved having the community feel, but I found out later that a few missed our ceremony because they were doing all the work.
Deb: Aside from the DOC, my venue does have a “coordinator” of sorts, though really she is there to make sure the hotel/catering staff is on task with food and setup. She had offered to be there for the rehearsal, so I’m guessing that she would have helped to run that somewhat. However, I don’t know how available she would have been on wedding day to walk us through…
I would think that at a house of worship, someone would be helpful with this. If not, you may need a friend or family member who is not in the wedding party to keep everyone going, where they are supposed to be, etc.
Perhaps some of our readers who have already had their weddings and didn’t have a DOC could tell us how they managed?
Miss Petunia, here’s the breakdown of who did what at our wedding:
Rehearsal: Our officiant (my bonus mom) ran the rehearsal and the logistics of everything. My guy’s mom snapped pictures. His brother recorded it. As with most rehearsals a few last-minute details came out of the wood work and we got them figured out.
Wedding: I created a timeline, a contact sheet, a vendor sheet (when we expect, what time it should show up, and if there were any outstanding payments left, and who pays them). This was in a master binder that my guy kept. My guy acted as the Ring Master for the whole thing. He ran around the morning-of getting all the last-minute stuff taken care of, purchased, and delivered and he was the person everyone called. (he busted his butt, and I love him dearly for it!) He basically directed everything.
His mom went with him for support. She also packaged up my cake (I didn’t even have boxes for it), picked up my flowers, set up the cake, picked me up from hair and makeup, and then joined our 10 person set up crew to put the linens, glasses, silverware, china, buffet table, cake, ceremony altar, and chairs out. We even had napkin folders. We also had a dedicated two-person kitchen team who prepped all the incoming potluck food and the BBQ’d meat that came in (which was enough to feed 120 people for our 65-person wedding). She basically spent all her time in the kitchen. We had a couple who were just going to open the barn doors for us who ended up directing people when my guy couldn’t. They fed us after the ceremony, open and poured all of the drinks for the toast, announced us and I’m sure much much more.
When it came to tear down, everything was loaded into cars that somehow made it back to our apartment. The rental stuff was packed up and picked up, and the place was left cleaner than we found it (from what I heard).
The only thing I had to do was relabel the favors and look pretty. They basically locked me in the bridal room and made me wait until it the ceremony.
The only thing we didn’t do all that well was keep ourselves on time. The person who was my clock watcher didn’t really say anything until it was time to leave, so I had no “it’s time to cut the cake” sort of moments, we just went with the flow. All in all though our two and a half hour wedding and reception was beautiful.
Most everyone who agreed to help ended up taking on way more than they signed on for, and I’m forever indebted to them.
it sounds like such a good idea and stress relief to hire a DOC. im also getting married in march 08 in miami. could u possibly send me who your DOC is? id greatly appreciate it. thanks!
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Mrs. Petunia, Ft. Lauderdale
Age and Occupation: 31, College Professor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Student/Part-time Barista
Engagement Date: December 8, 2006
Wedding Date: March 2, 2008
Venue: Riverside Hotel
Blogging Since: August 6, 2007
About Me: Our original idea of running off to get married quickly turned into an event with 100+ guests once other people got involved and I, too, got swept away in the lovely madness that is wedding planning. Mr. Petunia and I are obsessed with all things World of Warcraft, Monopoly, and Nintendo, so we’re planning on including some fun “game-y” details into our wedding.
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