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Sing it Old School Ska Gwen!
While Mr. Hummingbird and I are involved in planning our wedding together, during the initial stages of researching venues and caterers, I was kind of going it on my own because I had more time and had done more reading about what to expect. Plus, after having worked as a fact checker, editor and journalist, there is this weird little part of me that really enjoys the details involved in researching.
Since food is a huge deal for us, one of the absolute first things I did was research caterers. Because there are a number of dietary/allergy issues we needed to address and because we’re having the wedding in a slightly remote area, it was a big deal that we chose a service that:
1. Provided our guests with dietary needs a decent meal.
2. Would not send anyone with allergies to the hospital.
3. Would not come with a completely unreasonable travel fee tacked onto it.
The first thing I did was e-mail about a dozen caterers in and around the area we were planning on getting married in with a series of basic questions to see if they could accommodate us. Then I made follow up phone calls.
While some of the calls were great, with helpful staff who answered all of my questions, I was surprised to encounter a few caterers who could not have been less helpful.
Not only did these men talk down to me, but they harangued me about my catering budget, insisting that no caterer could work the money we’d set aside (even though I’d received multiple quotes that could), and throughout our discussions insisted that they should “talk numbers with (my) future husband”.
I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know everything there is to know about catering, but treating me like I’m dumb just because I have a uterus is incredibly rude.
We’ve since found a caterer we like and are hopefully booking them in the next two weeks or so (we have to get out there and do a bit of a tasting since they’re not in the city where we live), but the experience gave me pause since I found it strange that, in an industry where businesses depend on good word of mouth to survive, people copped such an attitude.
I’m sure I can’t be the only who’s come across this kind of behaviour, so I’m curious - How many of you have come across this kind of bad vendor behaviour while planning your wedding? How did you deal with it?
I’m always surprised about the number of people that have posted/commented on bad vendor experiences. How can these people expect to stay in business and maintain clientele if they are consistently rude? I don’t know…it just baffles me how rude vendors are sometimes, especially if they encounter customers who are working with a tight budget.
I’m surprised too since the majority of people booking the services are the brides…aka…females. I didn’t have any problems, but then I had all of three vendors.
Hey, are you going to use AP Style for your invites? 
This is exactly why I’m keeping my vendors to a minimum. They scare the crap out of me. Especially with “in demand” vendors…some of them are just so rude. I’ve been fortunate to not have any backtalk like this, but again, its because i almost have ZERO vendors (my site, which is awesome, provides like 95% of things we’ll need, including linens, china, catering, staff).
Our photographer, for their “average” packages is a little out of our budget. But they have an alacarte package which is really cheap, and even though we’ll probably break the bank and go for a normal package, he was still really enthusiastic to work with us, even if it meant booking a peak June saturday to only make a minimal ammt of money. Attitudes like that made me WANT to spend more money with him.
Vendors with attitude…psh. This is why I’m so glad planning has gone to the internet. You can spread the word about rude and incompetent vendors FAST.
That’s just nasty. What a horrible experience!
Fortunately, none of our vendors talked down to me or was rude, even the one that I didn’t care for. Maybe it helped that I came armed with a notebook and many, many probing questions about service, so they knew to back the heck off! =)
I did read an article by a local newspaper writer who got remarried at an older age, and he talked about how he found it interesting that the majority of vendors he encountered got the bride all up in a tizzy about all the great (expensive) possibilities for the wedding and ignored him on the first meetings, and then later, when she was so stressed that what she wanted was so expensive, the vendor would start talking to him so he could make the “grand gesture” of agreeing to pay (if you don’t, he felt, it made it seem like you were pooping on the bride’s parade and didn’t want her to have the best).
The article can be found here: http://www.bizjournals.com/pacific/stories/2007/05/07/editorial2.html
yay im gonna see gwen tomorrow nite (for the 2nd time this year :X ) ha ha
I had an awful experience with a potential cake lady. My fiance had spoken with her and she was really nice to him, but I needed to be the one who booked the appointment.
First off, she was incredibly rude in her tone of voice. Second, she basically wouldn’t let me come to the appointment alone; my fiance had to be there. Third, she informed me very snottily that she “didn’t work with ANY wedding coordinators” because she had had such terrible experiences with them. Well, I’m planning my wedding from a different state so, guess what, I have a wedding coordinator.
I said, “Well, this probably isn’t going to work then. Thank you for your time,” and hung up, but I was shaking afterwards I was so mad.
The cake lady we did end up hiring not only makes delicious cakes but was so enthusiastic after our meeting that she wanted my fiance to come by another day so she could meet him too!
The rudest behavior I encountered was when calling churches. We thought about getting married in the church where my hubby’s parents were married. The lady was so snotty about us not being members! She grilled me on why his parents were not members any longer. When I told her that his dad had passed away and his mom moved out of town, she was like, well, too bad, you still have to pay the non-member fee.
I had a similar experience with florists. I actually was happy about it, because I got to the point where before we would enter any sort of discussion I would give them my budget and the fact that I wanted red flowers two days after Valentine’s. If they laughed, it was a quick phone call and I didn’t have to bother with them any more.
I called one catering company who would not give me prices (not even a basic range) over the phone because the prices “vary too much.” Then, I got to the open house and it was basically a one price menu (at $125/person). When I asked about changing some options to bring down the price, they said there aren’t really many options with their menu. Needless to say, I wrote a strongly worded email the next day about my experience. I did get a call back from the owner though who was very appreciative of my input (and offered a discount on invitations since they do those too).
I had the worst problems trying to find a church - many of them did not respond to my emails, were extremely wary of who I was, or never returned phone calls! One promised to send information in the mail but never did and then I couldn’t get a hold of them on the phone afterwards (no website/email) - it was the cutest little church too :(. Another church secretary refused to respond to me because she “didn’t recognize my email” and thus didn’t want to deal with a stranger!! Thankfully, the one we ended up with has a super nice coordinator who was willing to work with us when the replacement pastor (regular pastor is going to be OOT our wedding day) turned out to be my ex-boyfriend’s mother! Drama drama…
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Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist Engagement Date: May 4, 2007 Wedding Date: June 28, 2008 Blogging Since: September 18, 2007 Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property. About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
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