Blissfully Whipped

November 5th, 2007 @ 4:10 pm by Mrs. Peony

It seems that whenever a man is in a relationship, he has to endure the “whipped” teasing from his friends at least once. I know for a fact that some of Mr Peony’s guy friends tease him about this, but it’s all between good friends and no harm is done.

I personally do not think that Mr Peony is “whipped.” He makes his own decisions, and although I like to have my say in things, he ultimately has the last word on any issues that concern his own life. I know that marriage is about the convergence of two lives as one, but I still believe that we should keep our own identities. So unless he makes a decision with which I strongly disagree, or will have an adverse effect on our lives, I usually let him do his own thing. Mr Peony is the same with me.

However, we do know some people who are, for lack of a better word, immensely “whipped.” While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make your S.O. happy, some people take it a bit too far. So much so that their friends and family become genuinely concerned that they are losing their identities. These people act like lost puppies when their S.O. is not around, and often neglect those who were once close to them.

I like to refer to these people as “blissfully whipped,” because they really are happy this way. But should friends and family ever say anything to them? Will these people ever grow out of these “whipped” status, or will they stay this way for the entire length of the relationship?

What is your stance on being “whipped?” Do you think that you or your S.O. is “whipped?” Can being “whipped” ever be a bad thing?

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8 Responses to “Blissfully Whipped”

Guest

Jennifer

I am definitely not whipped and neither is my SO. I am firm in my belief that each of us needs to be able to make our own decisions unless, like you said, the decision will adversely affect me/him/the both of us. I value his opinion and he values mine, so we usually reach some sort of compromise…which I think is healthy.

I think being blissfully whipped is a bad thing. I have/I’ve had friends who are like this and it’s hard for the rest of our group of friends to deal with this because we never get to spend time with them. They start to alienate everyone else except each other and if they do break up some day, they’ll have to look around and wonder where all their friends went.

11/5/07 @ 4:21 pm (reply)

Guest

Jessica

I think if the person is happy, then I don’t think it’s neccessarily a bad thing. Some people like being in control in a relationship, and some people like not having to make decisions. They work well together.

One of FI’s friends is clearly “whipped”. His girlfriend gets him to buy her expensive purses, let’s him know which couples they’re in a fight with at any given moment, and basically wears the pants in the relationship. But he’s happy. He loves her, and he likes taking care of her, but letting her call the shots. Is it my ideal relationhip? No, but it works for them.

Everybody is different, and as a result, everybody needs a different kind of relationship to make them happy. As long as the situation isn’t abusive, I don’t think it’s our place to judge.

11/5/07 @ 4:22 pm (reply)

Member

karieck (message) 37 posts, Newbee

My bf’s co-workers joke with him about being “whipped” too! But like you and Mr. Peony, my bf makes all his own choices too he just runs things by me first out of respect for us as a couple and not out of me forcing him too!
I think they tease him because they know it’s not true and know he will not be offended!
I think people that are truely “whipped’ in the sense that they can’t function without the other person around, is super unhealthy!
I don’t know anyone in a relationship like this currently but I hoped if I did, I’d be able to point it out in a nice way!
So I guess there is a good and bad “whipped”!

11/5/07 @ 4:26 pm (reply)

Member

cs (message) 50 posts, Worker bee

I think there is a difference between the colloquial use of “whipped” as described by Jessica - where one person might be making all the decisions, but the other person’s personality is still there - and being what I dubbed “squelched” - which is where the one person’s personality is completely overcome by their partner.

I know a “whipped” couple that is completely happy. And I know a squelched person who just finally broke up with the guy. It wasn’t even the guy’s fault - his personality was just so huge and she’s naturally a little reserved. But it wasn’t healthy.

11/5/07 @ 5:38 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Tulip (message) 615 posts, Busy bee

This isn’t quite what you asked, but…. Mr. T visited a bunch of college friends this weekend, and I expected the “boy’s weekend” would mean lots of ribbing about how getting married means his life will soon be over. Everyone always seems to assume marriage means, if not becoming “whipped” by your wife, at least a life of being henpecked! (And they have a few friends who disappeared into their relationships/marriages, never to be seen as an individual again….)

So when he returned, I asked him whether the boys had given him a hard time. He said they did — they gave him a hard time that he waited so long to propose, when we’re so obviously perfect together! Awww. Sometimes boys surprise you.

11/5/07 @ 8:09 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Gummi Bear (message) 175 posts, Blushing bee

Mr. GB is often, if not always, referred to as whipped! I think it’s just that he doesn’t mind doing things for me, doesn’t question my judgement, and just goes along with everything. It’s not that I control him, he just has very little opinion on things and trusts me to have good style and not overspend. And he’d rather get me a glass or water, pick me up cocoa puffs from the market, or carry my purse for me without arguing because it’s something so small and easy, why not do it and just have that be the end of it?

I found him this way, so if some other girl beat him into submission and easy-going agreement - thanks!

11/5/07 @ 9:56 pm (reply)

Member

meli (message) 115 posts, Blushing bee

Nothing says more whipped than my friend having her husband carry her purse for her when they shop!

11/5/07 @ 11:52 pm (reply)