Wedding Blog
Whether or not to see each other before the ceremony is a big decision for most couples.
As always, click to enlarge images
We decided to see each other before the ceremony for a few reasons. At first, I thought it would be very romantic to have the first time we saw each other be when I walked down the isle. Then I realized that, as I’m slightly nearsighted and wasn’t planning to wear my glasses on our wedding day, that I simply wouldn’t be able to make out the expression on Mr. Onion’s face that I was so looking forward to.
Also, it was very important to us to enjoy our entire day with our guests, which meant attending our cocktail hour instead of spending that time with our photographer.
I am thrilled we decided to do this. My only regret was we didn’t have as much time as I’d hoped because it took about 45 minutes longer than I’d planned to get my girls rounded up and seated at Mirabelle’s Cafe (who made our beautiful cake) for lunch after I got my hair and make-up done. This cut our “just us” photo time down significantly.
The guys all got sandwiches and brought them back to the inn (so much smarter). So I guess my advice here is don’t try to have a nice seated meal — order sandwiches! Haha.
Photo taken by my BIL/GM.
But seriously, no matter how much you plan every hour of your day, you never know when something might hold you up — so add extra “just in case time” to your schedule. I’d say 20-30 minutes between each appointment.
OK — now on with the pictures we took in the time we had to run over to the University of Vermont campus… prior to our wedding party/family photos… all of which had to happen before 4 PM when our ceremony began! Pfew!
Why did you decide when to first see each other, and how did you feel about it afterwards (if you’re already married)?
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It’s not something I had originally planned to do. I voted “yes,” though, because I think we’ll have to: our (hopeful) venue doesn’t allow ceremonies to start til 7 p.m. or so and it’s outdoors, so we’re afraid that if we don’t take photos beforehand, we’ll end up in the dark. Also, we want to be able to spend every moment with our guests post-ceremony since we won’t have that much time.
We didn’t do photos beforehand so the first time I saw him was at the other end of the aisle. I was so nervous/excited that I barely remember it now though! I remember the initial moment though - it was wonderful. While I was slightly disappointed that we didn’t get to spend cocktail hour with our guests, it was nice to have that hour taking pictures, just the two of us. I’d do it the same way again!
p.s. Mrs. Onion - we’re half dress twins. We wore the same dress top:)
I originally thought that we wouldn’t see each other until the big aisle moment, but after talking things through with my wedding coordinator, my real desire is to get to the party after the ceremony! I still wasn’t convinced, but everyone I’ve talked to says that when they saw their fiance before the ceremony, they were instantly calmer, so this might be a good thing for me…
I voted no, we have decided to wait until the ceremony but only b/c my fiance decided he wanted to be surprised at the ceremony, I wanted to meet him beforehand.
ditto what Nancy said.
Not only did we have 90 minutes of pre-wedding photos, he saw me in the dress the day it arrived. The horror! The horror!
I admit that the first-sight photos people post are beautiful and special moments, but my husband’s “surprised” face is exactly the same as his “hungry,” “angry,” “bored,” and “confused” faces.
In the photo of just you, I think you resemble Scarlett Johannsen only with darker hair. Has anyone ever told you that you look like her?
Our photographer insists on it. She will only work with couples who agree to see one another before.
I’m very traditional and didn’t want to see my husband before hand. It also hyped up the moment when the doors of the sanctuary would be opened and I saw him for the first time.
On the down side, I was hit by a wave of emotion and cried the whole walk down the aisle. Haha.
Seeing each other beforehand was the best decision we made!
gretchen — no one has ever told me i looked like scarlett johannsen, but i take that as a compliment! thanks 
We did as many photos as we could before the ceremony - me with my girls, him with the guys - and then after the ceremony we took the ones that involved both of us. That way, we cut down on the time we’d need afterward, and still were able to wait until the aisle walk to see each other. Honestly, an extra 30 minutes at the cocktail hour doesn’t equate to much in the grand scheme of things, so we didn’t feel like we were missing out on a whole lot by taking a few pictures post-nuptials.
I voted no because as of right now we don’t want to see each other before the walk down the aisle. However, in past weeks I have been leaning towards seeing him before, as long as it is semi-private. So if any of you could offer more advice I would appreciate it! Also, how did your fiance or husband feel about meeting before?
I’m with Nancy and Jen. I wanted to have the first look pictures and time before the ceremony to take pics, but my fiance lobbied hard to not see me. We’ve known eachother for a long time and apparently he’s dreamed of the moment I’m revealed at the end of the isle for many years. I just couldn’t take that away from him. So, instead we’re going to have a day after shoot with our photographer so that we don’t take up too much time at the reception.
Oh totally forgot!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your dress! The tea length is just adorable!!!!
We weren’t planning on it but we ended up seeing each other twice! The first time was when my MoH & I went back to our house to pick up my jewelry which I had forgotten to pack the night before. So he got to see how my hair & tiara looked lol. The 2nd time was @ the church before the ceremony started b/c I had problems w/the limo driver & saw my now husband, our brothers (who were the groomsmen), & our BM on the church steps waiting for us. They wanted to fight the limo driver lol!
I have to say that I think on DB’s blog, that one first pic with you in the mirror (where you can only see half your face) really makes me think you resemble Natalie Portman! (I’m stalking her blog because our engagement photos will be posted any day now…. eeee!) Anyway, I hope you take that as a compliment as well!
I’m voting no, mainly because I’m a traditionalist, but also because we’re having our ceremony in a Catholic church… and consequently, our wedding mass is at ONE (!!). They have to keep the afternoon open for Saturday mass and confessions. The reception isn’t till 5 (cocktail hour starts then), so we’ll have plenty of down time in between for pictures.
I did not want him to see me before the wedding. The hardest part about this was finding a photographer that would agree to it. I could not get over the number of photogs that thought I would redo my plans to fit what they wanted! I finally found one and everything went smooth from there. My husband says he will never forget the first time he saw me and wouldn’t have it any other way.
We are following the Jewish traditions so we will see each other before the ceremony to sign the ketubah. Since we’re already doing that we’ll take pictures before and spend the cocktail hour with our guests.
I wanted to see each other before the ceremony, and luckily FI was of the same mindset. We wanted to get all the pictures out of the way ahead of time, so we could enjoy the cocktail hour with our guests. My mom was so relieved when she found out, since she really wanted to do all the pictures ahead of time too, but didn’t want to force me if I wanted to wanted to wait till the ceremony for FI to see me for the first time. Seeing as how FI has already seen pictures of my dress, the suprise factor is not big on our list.
I’m Jewish, so there was no debate — of course we’ll be seeing each other beforehand! Plus, we’re having a late wedding (ceremony at 7pm) so if we didn’t see each other first it would be too dark to take pictures around the city. Our photographer has already found a perfect spot in the hotel where we can do ‘first meeting’ pictures, so it will be just as good (in my opinion) as waiting for the aisle when I come up the big giant escalator and see the Mr. for the first time!
I would advise everyone to see each other beforehand. It makes so many things easier, especially picture taking! I promise you it is still very special to see your man up at the altar or wherever you make your vows.
MissHistory, I think the key is to make it semi-private like you said. Insist that the only people there are you and your groom (and the photographer, but even he may be able to be at a distance with a zoom lens). No bridal party, no family, etc. This gives you a chance to actually talk to each other, he can tell you how beautiful you are, etc. This won’t happen in the ceremony if he sees you for the first time then - the ceremony doesn’t lend itself to expressing private emotions verbally.
Even if I wanted to see him before the ceremony, he freaks out every time I even hint towards mentioning it… lol
~Ash
Our wedding is a traditional hindu wedding. Traditionally we don’t get to see each other for 21 days until the wedding. So from the day after Divali, which is friday the 9th November, we wount be seeing each other until the day of the wedding at the wedding ceremony. I miss him already, but i get to spend the rest of my life with him
[...] Onion and I decided to see each other before the ceremony for pictures. I posted about this a while back and asked what your plans were — to see each other or to wait for the walk down [...]
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Miss Onion, NYC/Burlington, VT
Age and Occupation: 27, PR & Marketing and Jazz Singer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Data Analyst
Engagement Date: April 2, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: July 11, 2007
Venue: Restaurant in Burlington
About Me: I didn't think I'd be "that girl," but I am having so much fun planning our wedding (mostly by myself). I'm a PR and Marketing Director for a major jazz festival and camp by day, and by night, a romantic jazz singer and bride-to-be! I hope all my research can help other brides in their planning.
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