Wedding Blog
There has been a lot of talk about money and opulent wedding related spending on the bee today — Mrs. Caterpillar’s “The Weight of the World” post and Miss Jasmine’s “Opulent Wedding Spending” post.
I wanted to address this too. When we started planning our wedding, my mother saw an advertisement for a local bank in our small town. I wish I’d kept it so I could show it to you. There was a picture of a bride and her father ready to walk down the aisle in their back yard (a la “Father of the Bride” [1991] with Steve Martin). The advertisement was encouraging you to take out a second mortgage on your home to give your daughter “the day of her dreams!”
When my mother found this she nearly died. She decided there was no way we’d let our planning get to that point — she had “x dollars” to contribute to the wedding and that was it. We could use this money towards the wedding, towards a down payment on an apartment — whatever we wanted to do.
With hard work and serious prioritizing we were able to come in 4% under budget when all was said and done! I am very proud of the wedding we pulled off, and love that our guests felt welcome and thought it was tasteful and fun.
I think it really helped that we decided what we had to spend before we started planning. I know this sounds basic, but often people jump right in with out talking about money first and end up way over their heads. It helps to talk with both sets of parents and come to a solid bottom line. Then from there make priorities. If a wedding in the city where you met is what you value most, then make certain compromises — you’ll have less people, buy a dress off the rack, forgo a cake etc.
We set up a solid budget (including tip, tax and delivery costs) for the total number of guests we were inviting — not how many people we thought would attend. Then we did some research in each area to get a ball park of the costs, and then started looking for vendors knowing what we had to spend in each category. It can be done on a budget — restaurant receptions, off season, Friday nights — there are so many ways to host a wedding that won’t put you in debt before you even begin your lives together!
If you have any questions or money saving tips, please comment below.
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My FI and I definitely sat down and talked about our budget before anything else. I made a spreadsheet of all categories with breakdowns and costs (including estimates of what we would spend). As we continue our planning, I input the actual amount we spend in black and estimated amount in another color. I watch the total closely and get happy when I come in under an estimate. If something comes out more than I thought, I choose between cutting back on something else or not getting it. I also keep enough room for errors and taxes/tips I forgot to include as well.
We saved money by having a wedding on a Friday, borrowing the wedding day jewellry I would wear, bought cheap shoes (still comfy though!), had the reception partially catered (we bought the BBQ meat, and guests brought their favorite side dishes), paid for a two piece band (violin and guitar), made my own cake (you’ll save so much more if you know your cake to guest ratio), bought my dress on ebay, and skipped alcohol (had martinelli’s instead).
Even with all those things, I was still amazed at how much it cost.
We’re already over budget…. 
but we still saved money by using my brother-in-law as a free photographer, borrowing wedding shoes, not doing jewelry or a veil, having familiy friends do my hair and make-up, doing After Hours to get the groom’s tux for free, doing tulips instead of callas in the bridesmaid’s bouquets, not using flowers on the cake, not using a runner, making my own favors and buying chocolate at SAM’s, getting invitations at Costco (beautiful by the way!), making my own save-the-date as a postcard to save on postage/fees, and doing a groom’s chocolate bar instead of cake.The things that were just so expensive? The usual - food, alcohol, decor/florist and reception band. Sigh.
how much does it usually cost/guest (including food, tip, tax, drinks, etc)?
thanks!
Christine — this totally depends on where you hold your event and what you offer. With a restaurant you don’t pay for rentals — tables, chairs, place settings, serving supplies etc.
If you host your event in a rental space where you have to bring everything in, you have to factor those costs in as well. And if you decide to host your wedding outside under a tent for instance, that is a serious additional cost as well.
There are two types of food service — buffet and table service. Obviously a buffet is less expensive. And then what time of food you serve and the alcohol — cash bar, full included bar etc. There are tons of variables — I’d say you could spend anywhere from $75/pp to $300+pp. I hope this at least gives you factors to think about while planning.
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Miss Onion, NYC/Burlington, VT
Age and Occupation: 27, PR & Marketing and Jazz Singer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Data Analyst
Engagement Date: April 2, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: July 11, 2007
Venue: Restaurant in Burlington
About Me: I didn't think I'd be "that girl," but I am having so much fun planning our wedding (mostly by myself). I'm a PR and Marketing Director for a major jazz festival and camp by day, and by night, a romantic jazz singer and bride-to-be! I hope all my research can help other brides in their planning.
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