Miss Onion, NYC/Burlington, VT
Age and Occupation: 26, PR & Marketing and Jazz Singer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Data Analyst
Engagement Date: April 2, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: July 11, 2007
Venue: Restaurant in Burlington
About Me: I didn't think I'd be "that girl," but I am having so much fun planning our wedding (mostly by myself). I'm a PR and Marketing Director for a major jazz festival and camp by day, and by night, a romantic jazz singer and bride-to-be! I hope all my research can help other brides in their planning.
Your First Home
November 13th, 2007 @ 3:01 pm by Mrs. Onion
Buying your first home as husband and wife is a huge accomplishment and no easy task. Mr. Onion and I have started seriously looking for an apartment in NYC. We did the math and figured out what we would be spending on rent over the next 4-5 years (assuming we stayed where we are and our rent was never increased — ha), and realized it would be more than enough for a down payment! We want to start building equity, make a good investment and it would be so nice to have a place to call our own.
An example of my dream apartment — anyone have 8-10 million dollars to loan us? Or better yet, a generous wedding gift?! Haha.
Because of our budget, we are limited in location and we know we want to remain in Manhattan proper (not move to NJ, Queens or far out in Brooklyn). So our search has been limited to upper Manhattan. The most helpful website we’ve found while hunting for a place in the city has been www.streeteasy.com.
Streeteasy is pretty comprehensive, pulls from all different real estate agencies listings and gives some really helpful information like how long the property has been on the market, the asking price history etc. I feel like we’ve learned so much in just the past month and can’t wait to take that step. We’ve been pre-approved for a mortgage and are working with an real estate agent we trust so when we find the best place for us, we’re ready to make an offer.
But before you can get to that big step you have to address your financial situation. Having this conversation while you’re still engaged long before the wedding can be very helpful. Find out what kind of debt you each have — credit cards, college loans, car payments etc. Then talk about savings — how much do you each have saved, do you have a retirement account, what is your outlook on long term saving? Everyone has a different approach to personal finances and knowing where you each stand before the wedding will make big financial decisions easier to make down the road.
Any advice from those of you who’ve already bought your first place together? I’m interested to hear from NYC apartment owners as well as just general feedback from all over the country.
34 Responses to “Your First Home”
No advice here - SF real estate is impossible, too. Anyone watch “How I Met Your Mother” last week? 
we bought a co-op in queens last year. its been the best investment ever! we’ll be married in about 6 months and the apartment has given us enough equity for a great downpayment on a house. we’ve been looking at houses now just to see how much things cost and get a feel for neighborhoods, school systems etc. without buying this apartment, we could never afford a nyc house….. good luck! it’ll be a great investment.
me and my fiance are just beginning this in nyc right now too. fortunately he owns his studio now so we’re hoping with the money from that we can buy a decent 1BR. but it’s sooo expensive… :/ we’re also working through a broker that we just met and like a lot. hopefully it all works out and we have a place to stay after we’re married~!!
I have an Atlanta perspective! We bought a house just last month.
Buying a house together absolutely forces you to be straightforward and honest with one another about your financial history as well as your current situation. Mr. Magnolia and I actually sat down with our mortgage broker for about an hour and a half to go through our respective credit reports bit by bit. Neither one of us has any kind of a financial background, and we know that moving forward, this is going to be one of our primary challenges.
The mortgage situation in Georgia is atrocious. Once we got all of our financial information to the broker, we didn’t have any problem qualifying for a loan, but we’re glad that we locked in when we did! That particular program was removed literally two days later! If you get a good rate, jump on it!
And now, the market. Goodness, I should probably just write a blog about this. We were *lucky, lucky, lucky* to sell my condo in a market that’s absolutely flooded with similar properties. My location was fantastic, which ended up being the primary selling point for the buyer. Once we were under contract, Mr. Magnolia and I really started to focus on our purchase — we found a house that we absolutely adore, and we were very honest with the sellers about what we could afford. If they weren’t willing to work with that, then we were okay with walking away. This is NOT a competitive environment; in fact, the market’s flooded with homes…so we lucked out, and they took our offer!
Our favorite sites included local Atlanta real estate pages (Remax, Harry Norman, and citihomes.com) as well as the fabulous Zillow.com. Thanks to amazing online resources and even television channels like HGTV, buyers (and sellers!) are much more informed than they used to be, and as the daughter of a Realtor, I think this is great progress!
Good luck to all the Weddingbee readers who may be house hunting!
I moved into the condo my husband owned when we got married in August (we live about 30 miles outside of Milwaukee, WI). We recently put in a bid on a “dream” home but ended up walking away from the owner’s final counteroffer after going back and forth for a bit. Lesson: don’t try to stretch yourself!
Our condo is HUGE (1800 sq.ft.!) and we don’t want to have kids for awhile, so we’re going to stay here for a bit and save up some serious bucks for a down payment on a home. We call this our “5-year House” and we really want our next dwelling to be our “20-year House.” Still, putting the [failed] bid in was a great exercise — we now know that we’re absolutely on the same financial page.
I’m in escrow to sell my condo, and I can’t wait to get out. I live in Santa Barbara (extremely expensive home sales & property tax) . . . I’m moving to LA when married and am looking forward to paying rent and not mortgage. I don’t know if I’m excited because I’ve been a home owner for 7 years and have had to pay for everything by myself, or just excited to pay rent (which I’ve never done) and have someone else take care of the issues that need fixing.
My recommendation: avoid HOA’s. If you do purchase a place that has an HOA (Home Owners Association), read it carefully. Mine was clearly spelled out regarding what I was responsible for vs. them, but somehow they found a loop hole around 2 major home repair issues and didn’t contribute a penny. When FI and I purchase in a couple years it will not be within an HOA complex; the monthly dues are a complete waste of money in my opinion.
OMG Aliya — 1800 SF! Huge for us in NYC would be 800 SF — it’s amazing how different things are across the country.
This is a first purchase for me and Mr. Onion so sadly neither of us own a place we could sell and put toward a new place together. We’re starting from square one together which makes me feel like we’re even more of a team.
Mrs. Onion,
Street Easy was an invaluable tool for us buying our apartment here in Manhattan. We actually found our apartment by browsing Street Easy then going to the open houses they showed. We had no broker (which made all the brokers showing the apartments very nice to us since they would receive double brokers fees).
Though we definitely had our shares of ups and downs. And actually our first apartment we bid on fell through- we moved into our apartment in the East Village this past March. Now, we’re planning our wedding
Hahaha, Mrs. Onion, I love your reaction. I’ve lived in big cities all my life until now so I’m still getting used to it. My girlfriend from NYC almost fainted when she came into our place for the first time.
The tradeoff? There is one, count it, ONE sushi restaurant in town.
My guy and I looked at houses in the summer of 2004 before the crazy house prices kicked in. We were ignorant of each other’s credit history, debt, and bill strategies.
I don’t know what we were thinking looking at a house, but we got caught up in being all grown up (getting married and getting a house almost seemed hand in hand), that we didn’t look at the realities. We put in a bid on a house and lost. I was sad about it for a while, but then we sat down and did our finances together (that was a fun nine hours). Now I’m glad we lost it because we probably couldn’t have afforded the payments and little surprises that come with owning your own place. Whew!
I live in a horrifically expensive area as well - Vancouver is not quite as bad as NYC from what I’ve heard, but it’s the most expensive market in Canada. I know how much we’re flushing down the drain on rent, but how on earth do you just decide to buy a place rather than spend on rent, if you don’t have the money saved up for a downpayment? My fiance and I are terrified that with the ridiculous rate at which prices are escalating, that by the time we have enough saved up for a downpayment, we’ll need a higher amount and will never be able to catch up to the market. I would happily move to the middle of nowhere and buy a place for a fraction of the cost, but my fiance’s line of work currently is dependent upon us living in Vancouver.
Aliya - 1800 sq ft?!?! You lucky thing you… we bought a condo that is currently under construction and won’t be finished until next summer/fall. We are paying through the nose for 900 measly sq ft. But hopefully it should be fab!!
It does seem like a catch 22 sometimes doesn’t it Laura? Mr. Onion and I both lived with our parents for about 2 years before we moved to the city and got engaged. We were able to save up quite a bit then.
Also my parents were amazing and saved up money for me to attend college — I picked a state school, got a scholarship and then worked for 2 years as an RA (the university paid my room and board in exchange). So when I graduated I had quite a bit left over that I didn’t spend on school. So that is why we can afford a downpayment.
My husband and I bought a condo in Chicago together a couple months before our wedding. Ours is 1000 sq ft which is pretty huge for Chicago- another expensive market (though not as bad as NYC).
It is definitely critical to go through all the calculations for how much you can afford (try bankrate.com), because lenders will let you borrow way more than is actually comfortable on your salary. Actually my husband got the loan based on just his salary, even though realistically without my contribution the mortgage would be a big stretch.
The reason he did this was to qualify for a first time homebuyer program called Acorn - I believe they have programs throughout the country, so you might want to check that out. If we had combined our salaries we wouldn’t qualify, but my husband’s salary alone worked out and since we weren’t married yet we got away with it. I would definitely recommend looking into first time homebuyer programs to get a better deal. With ours, my husband had to attend a couple financial workshops, and then we were able to get a .25 reduction in interest rate and no PMI regardless of downpayment (and there’s no way we had 20% saved up, with the prices around here!). It saved us a bunch of money and let us get our relatively big condo.
for our downpayment, we scrounged every last penny we had saved. we werent engaged yet though and living at home so we did end up saving a bit. but once you actually move in, here comes the “fun” part. our co-op needed some renovations - not even major. we re-painted, re-did the floors and got new kitchen cabinets. sounds easy, but it wasnt. we then had to think about furniture - what matched the wall color, how did the furniture match up with each color. Then we had to figure out how to turn on our electricity, gas and such. then we had to incur our first mortgage bill (you dont really know the exact amount until you get that first bill). then you had to think about getting even the littlest things - forks, cleaning supplies, light bulbs, asprin. all the things mom has ready for you at home. we dsicussed how the bed was to be arranged, where to put the TV, where to hang the painting. we started from scratch. it was fun, but rough at the same time. nobody tells you these things and you dont think about them until you have to do it. just something to look forward too 
My Fi and I recently purchased our first home together in Brooklyn. We knew from the get go that we would not be able to afford Manhattan and having grown up in Manhattan and work here, I felt tired of the hustle and bustle. I wanted to move to a place where there would be no crazy sirens in the middle of the night and would be replaced by the sound of crickets. We found a great neighborhood that we fell in love with and I did my research by reading up on at least a dozen real estate books so I wouldn’t be taken advantage of. We lucked out and found our property by for sale by owner so we managed to eliminate a lot of the middle men costs. I befriended the sellers and we continue to talk to this day. There was so much that I learned in the process that I will never forget. From the financing, to the things we should look for in a home, everything was brand new to us.
In the end, the agreement was I would do all the research to know all the right questions to ask and he would come up with the financing for it. In that aspect it was 50/50, but we all know how difficult it is to come up with the financing, so I have to give credit to my FI for that. It’s not easy to find the home of your dreams, but don’t settle on something because it seems right at the time and an impulse offer is the worst thing you could do.
I’ve got a great Real Estate Lawyer I can refer you to if you’d like, he did an amazing job for us and he was able to answer most of my questions because he generally represents the major banks at closings. Let me know if you would like his information!
We’ve owned (first time for both of us) our house for 10 months now. For both of us, buying a house was the scariest thing we ever. I can go on and on about purchasing a house, but I find that most people only think about mortgage payments and down payment. Granted, that’s the two biggest concerns with the purchase but there are many many more financial aspects. Closing costs, taxes, home inspector (don’t ever use a realtor’s inspector), etc etc. Anyone see the movie Money Pit? That goes for old or new homes. I was lucky that my sister has been very good about giving me financial education (ie credit cards and owning a home), so I knew that there will be many issues to buying and owning a home. But it still was a very trying and a learning experience. Still is after all these months. One thing I didn’t even think about is minor stuff. Since neither of us owned a house before and I’ve lived with my family most of my life and my husband was a typical bachelor but worse since he traveled so much for work, we owned very little household items. Home Depot, Lowe’s, and Best Buy LOVE us. Costco should give us free life time membership. From big (many major appliances) to small (push broom), we’ve spent all our money on the house. Sadly, we’ve just barely scratched the surface and most of the money went to the big big yard we loved so much when we first looked at the lot. I can’t remember the last time I went shopping for myself. It’s a shock to me that I can’t even let myself buy a shirt because my brain immediately conjures up many other things the house can use for that amount. I now understand when someone told me long time ago that they spend more on the house than anything else. I thought they were crazy weird at the time. :p
We too tried the “Stay in Manhattan” Game, and while our wedding is not until April- We decided to be openminded and look in East Williamsburg… We got a beautiful (MUCH LARGER) place that we will fill with our wedding gifts, with a roofdeck that overlooks the skyline. Take a look in other hoods, the cab rides are cheaper home at night too if you hang out downtown! Cheers : )
i say condo, condo, condo (lower down payment) and look for new construction where your carrying costs will be less for the first 10-15 years due to tax abatements.
Mr. Daisy and i just bought a bigger place, but we were very lucky that we already had a one-bedroom to use as our base $ to buy the next one. we definitely considered an off-the-island move to Brooklyn (loved the new construction in DUMBO particularly), but a great larger space opened up in our current building so we pounced and decided to stay in Manhattan.
we definitely saved on the new place b/c it is in full-on estate condition and needs a gut renovation. if you and/or Mr. Onion are at all handy, i think buying a needs-TLC place is a great way to save for sure. of course, there’s the cost of renovation, but sometimes you can do pieces of it over time and then not get hit with one lump payment, where you would if you bought a place with everything in mint condition…
Gosh - I feel really spoiled! We live in a 2600 sq foot home - and I’m pretty sure my mortgage is less then rent on a one bedroom in NYC. But this is no NYC. I mean I LOVE living in a small college town in the mtns - but their are definitely disadvantages!
I owned the house for 1.75 years before the wedding - so it has taken some time for Todd to feel like it’s ‘OUR’ home and not ‘MY’ home. I am kinda sad we didn’t house hunt and buy our dream house together - but can’t change that now. We do have lots of fun planning our room/house transformations together!!
Just some notes to home buyers/newlyweds -
1. Don’t just go with what the bank will approve you for. It’s very easy to stretch yourself thin that way. I’d suggest having a detailed budget and living on it for a couple months so you really understand what is within your means.
2. A home costs more than just a mortgage payment. There are all kinds of little expenses that add up. Especially at the beginning. I recommend having an additional savings fund for ‘home things’. (you will spend most of it at Lowes or Home Depot!)
3. Don’t forget other monthly expenses that might pop up once you’re married. Life Insurance for example. If you start having kids quickly - you might want to have extra money around to throw into a college fund. It’s always good to have some wiggle room in that budget!
Sorry if I’m being too accounting-ish (yes, I am an accountant but not in taxes), but you may want to speak to your tax accountant before you buy the house to see if you can actually afford more. With the purchase of a house and your now joint return, you should have some tax benefits which can increase your monthly take home pay.
We bought our first place (1100 sq ft loft in Berkeley) 2 years ago and are pleased that we bought, but I still have reservations. I guess if I had any advice for prospective homeowners, I would say:
If youre a 2 income couple, take the larger income and DONT SPEND A DIME OF IT. Try to live off of 1 of your incomes, because if you live in a major metropolitan city like SF, NY, Chicago, etc., then thats probably what your life will be like.
Its good because you’ll be saving money towards a down payment. Its also good because thats what life is like, at least for us. My whole income pretty much goes to our mortgage.
If i could do it all over again, I would move to a different city like Denver or Minneapolis or somewhere cheaper, to be quite honest. I hate how expensive our mortgage is, but on the flip side, I would never want to pay $2500 in rent per month which is what we’d be paying if we didnt buy.
Big City mortgages are a drain for working joes like me and my FI. I really dislike the fact that our first home (which is a condo, not a home) costs over half a million dollars. Its a ridiculous amount to pay, but we do it because we are both staunchly anti-rent. I would give anything to up and move to a smaller but still fun city, right now.
And I’m with Maegan - I hate our HOA and I hate that we’re slaves to it. You probably wont avoid on if youre buying a condo, but nothing makes you hate your neighbors more than having to be financially bound to them. We pretty much hole up in our place and avoid them at all costs, for fear that I might punch some of them in the face when I see them. I wont get into it but, seriously, I would kill to live in a single family home out in the suburbs than have to deal with my HOA. Just another thing to think about….we’re self managed, and I think thats part of the problem…knowing a small group of your neighbors is making the decisions for you. I think looking for buildings with professionally managed HOA’s would probably be a good answer. So rather than your neighbors making the decisions for you, its a professional management team. I bet they are more expensive but SO worth it.
My FH & I purchased our first house together last year…it’s in the SF bay area where real estate is very expensive. but, it’s worth it knowing that we actually own our house and our mortgage payments are going towards paying off our house instead of just paying rent.
A couple things we learned…location is very important when buying real estate. The thing to look for is a good school district…places in a good school district sell much faster and get better prices. This is huge if you plan to sell the house in the future.
I would recommend getting a standard 30 year fixed rate loan…I’ve read a lot of horror stories in the news lately about people whose interest rates have doubled or tripled as the housing market slows down. You may get a better initial rate with a variable loan, but a fixed rate is more secure and easier to budget for.
Also, i agree with Maegan’s comment to avoid HOAs…I’m not sure if there are many places in NYC that don’t have HOAs, but you can at least look for places with lower HOA fees. However, there’s no guarantee that the fees with stay low…so FH & I didn’t even consider places that had HOA fees.
Though buyer’s agents may seem nice, I found that I ended up doing all the work myself. I found all of the houses we wanted to look at. I would end up contacting the seller’s agent. For what she will get paid, she didn’t do any work!
Also, most areas have classes to help first time home buyeers navigate the waters. Check to see if there are any in your area.
We close on our first house Thursday!!!
Meghan — thanks for the tip on the classes. Congrats on your closing!! I do feel like I’m doing more work than my agent so we’ll see how long we want to stick with him and his assistant.
Jasmine — EXCELLENT point! i didn’t get into too much detail but my mother taught me never to touch and ARM — that’s just asking for trouble.
Here in NYC there aren’t HOA’s (that’s I’ve come across), but about 80% of the real estate here are co-ops. This is similar I’d guessing — there is a board and you don’t actually own your apartment, you own shares in the building. They have strick rules — the biggest bummer is most places don’t allow subletting and if they do it’s for 1-2 years max. aka, if you want to move you have to sell — you can’t keep it as an investment. BUMMER.
Great tips everyone — thanks for sharing and keep them coming. I’m learning already and I’m sure there are other readers considering the same thing.
Also, if you can avoid PMI, just get a life insurance policy big enough to pay off your mortgage….check into it. With you and your husband being so young, you should be able to get great rates, much less or comparable to PMI. With PMI, it only pays off the Balance owed on your loan, whereas with life insurance, it pays off the policy amount. At the same time you are doing your paperwork at the bank, you might want to check about opening a line of credit (home equity line of credit) for the emergencies that pop up, that you might have to borrow for…(new roof, if you want new carpet after a couple of years, etc)……it costs to open it later, and if you already have it in place its good for emergencies without having to go back to the bank. Also it is tax deductable if its associated with your home, whereas a regular loan or credit card isn’t. Just things to think about. We live in a small town compared to NYC, but I think these things still would apply.
Great wedding also, it looked like a lot of fun.
I can still remember finding my first apt to rent in NYC as a young, naive college grad. Insistent on finding my own place and did - a small walk-up studio in Yorkville for $675/mo. Now? I shudder to think of monthly rental much less to buy the place.
This month I’m putting my suburban PHL townhouse on the market. DH has his own large townhouse that I’ll be fully moved into in hopefully in another month.
The best advice I have for anyone considering buying a home: DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. The Internet is filled with free resources on buying a home, qualifying for a mortgage, how to prepare a realistic budget, etc. While interest rates aren’t that great, they’re certainly not into the double digits. But do NOT consider an ARM. Those foreclosures in the news? They are from previously hopeful couples who thought they could swing ARM or interest-only mortgages. It’s really a shame but this market is going to get worse before it gets better (i.e., recession like the early 90s).
When thinking about what you can really afford each month, don’t forget to factor in all utilities, HOA or related fees, sewer, garbage, extra gas and/or commuter zones, etc. Factor in 10% of your yearly mortgage for home repairs - not getting all new switch plates or Pergo but the $500 it costs to repair the blower in your heat pump. Pay very close attention during your home inspection and ask them to very carefully explain the life expectancy of your appliances, HVAC, roof, garage door, windows, etc.
All in all, owning a home is GREAT! It’s wonderful to know that you and your DH have created a wonderful sanctuary to in which escape from the world together.
get a good mortgage broker. ask around… usually you can find a good recommendation from your coworkers or parents / parents’ friends. securing a good rate is huge. we got a 5% rate with a 5 year fixed ARM. this is because we bought a 1 bedroom condo in a new, fancy building in the greater boston area with intention to sell within the 5 years for a profit and then move to the suburbs. it can be a little claustrophobic sometimes with 2 people and 2 dogs in a 700 sq ft apartment, but it’s worth it as we dream about a large single-family home in the suburbs!
we hate our condo fee (more than my husband’s rent before we got married!), it’s huge because of the concierge and gym and all that. the building also had an assessment this year and we have to pay an extra $750 over two months, and they gave us one month’s notice. yikes! note that a condo association can do this at any time!! i read an article in the paper about a waterfront condo building that had an assessment that found the building needed a plumbing overhaul. some owners are being forced to sell because they can’t afford the $50,000 PAYMENT before the end of the year!!! very very scary.
also the other negative thing we have about our condo building is that we found out recently that there we are one of VERY few owner-occupied units. this makes for a lot of hooligans, parties, trash in hallways/elevators, smells of marijuana in the hall, … the list goes on. we can’t wait to get out of the city.
i do miss being able to move every year into better apartments, but owning has so many financial advantages that you just can’t argue with it if you can come up with a down payment. good luck!!!
my husband and i just brought a house in brooklyn and it took us more then a year looking for the “right” house. i’m not sure how should you go about looking for an apartment, but if you do buy a house or condo… check out propertyshark.com. the site shows exact sq footage (or should i say the “legal” size) of the house and land. you dont no how many times have we been to an open house and the size is a little off. i would also suggest going into your state gov sites (www.nyc.gov) to look up the property tax info, regulations the owners have failed to complete and a list of all the owners for the “house”.
hopefully this helps
ASK QUESTIONS, especially if the house is more than 10 years old. Including - “has a crime ever been committed here”? We fell in love with a townhouse that was 25 years old in a really nice neighborhood after seeing about 10 places. We wanted to have a place with lots of potential and a good price. In PA they’re not required to disclose information about the house - luckily our agent was my DH’s aunt, and she knew the listing agent. We found out that a couple in their 50s lived there last and the husband murdered his wife, and then killed himself in a parking lot down the street!!! What made it creepier was that we had been in the house, and were wondering why it was empty, and why there were paper blinds in the kitchen (apparently the only place where you could see what happened from outside, shudder). And they hadn’t replaced ANYTHING like the rugs or the floorboards, just cleaned it up.
Needless to say, I had to see another 10 homes to get the ghoulies/ghosties thought out of my head. And the place we ended up with is PERFECT and only 10 years old.
Ahh I can write an entire blog on this subject too. I will eventually write a post on this later, but the biggest things I learned are:
1. A pre-approval is sometimes required (pre-approval has greater weight than pre-qualification) when making an offer. However, a pre-approval does NOT guarantee a loan. I was pre-approved on my mortgage but with the increased standards on mortgages (even for “prime” borrowers) I was not able to get the same rate when it came time to actually lock in a rate. Some borrowers that had preapproved/prequalified me outright rejected me!
2. Because the majority of NYC apartments are co-ops, the advertised square footage can often be very off from the actual square footage. I’ve seen instances where the advertised vs actual is more than 200 sqft off!
3. When attending an open house or a viewing, be prepared to make an offer right away because the NYC market is so competitive.
You’ve already gotten such great advice. To add my general (I don’t live in NYC area) two cents:
Buy a home that you can comfortably afford, which means not at the top of your price range. This has helped us in the last few years as my husband recovers from major injuries from an accident and not really working full time. Luckily we can live on just my income, plus we had emergency money put aside just for unexpected events. To that end, look into getting disability insurance, if you or your husband is not already covered at work.
Also, rest assured that mortgage payments will get easier after the first year. It just seems like so much at first, especially if you’ve gone from reasonable rent to large mortage. It’s amazing what people can adjust to when they have to.
Good luck on your search.
[…] dealing with finances — budgets, health coverage, life insurance etc. As I mentioned in a previous post, we are looking for our first apartment to own. We knew what we could afford for a down payment but […]
