Wedding Blog

i still have not contacted social security etc. and it has been 6 weeks. lol

Do you think you will eventually phase out using the maiden as middle?

I am MyFirst MyLast HisLast, and I find that people always want to shorten it down for me, or add a hyphen.

for as long as i can remember, i knew that i always wanted to keep my maiden name even after marriage. it’s just so much a part of me, my identity, my culture, ethnicity, etc.

one of my main reasons also is that i’m one of those asians that you can’t really tell where i’m from. i’m always mistakened to be not of my ethnicity, but ppl get it right away when i tell them my last name. if i take my fiance’s last name, i know that i will constantly have to explain that it’s my married name…blah blah blah. annnd, his last name is just so common. mine is almost one of a kind. i hope that’s not selfish.

I’m pretty much done with the name-changing things, except for my costco membership, and i know exactly how you feel! i was torn up until the day i actually switched it. i took on my maiden name as my middle name, and i think subconsciously (or maybe consciously) i “cheat” this way. for example, now my driver’s license reads first name maiden name last name since it’s correct, but i’m sure if people see it they think that my maiden name is the first part of my last name.

i keep confusing people at work, they think i’ve left hte company b/c i’m listed by my new last name. i still do the full middle name though.

i used to never mention my middle initial/name, and now it’s my way of hanging on to my identity.

Miss Kiwi, you’re not the first one to say that you want everyone in your family to have one last name because it eliminates confusion. So this question isn’t just for you but for everyone who grew up with more than one surname in his/her family: What is this confusion? My mom didn’t change her last name when she got married but I still got my dad’s last name as my last name, and there was never any confusion growing up about whether my mom was really my mom, whether my dad was really my dad, and whether my parents were really married.

I’m curious to hear about others’ perspectives who have encountered confusion because I just don’t see how this would come up.

I, too, have been debating on what to do with my name. I always thought that changing my name to my husband’s wouldn’t be a prolem. But now, I am undecided.

My maiden name is a very common name (not quite like Jones or Smith, but still it’s common) but I’ve had it for 30 years now.

My husband, who because of his hispanic background and certian traditions, has two last names (Paternal Last name Maternal Last name), but normally just goes by his Paternal last name - which is a commen hispanic last name.

If I change my name to his, I would just take his paternal last name. I don’t mind being called Mrs. HisPaternalLastName. But, still I think, that’s really not his “complete” name. And if I took his full one, then that would be confusing for everyone including me cuz it’s not a maiden name.

Then I decided legally that I would just hyphenate my last name with his parental last name. I really like the sound of it - plus it takes both our common names, and makes it somewhat uncommon. However, with the combination of my first name and our last names, I would then have a name that is 26 letters long. That’s like writing the entire alphabet everytime you sign your name! Yikes!

So, that leads me to now, as confused and as undecided as I could be about a very important decison. My husband said that he will support whatever decision I make, so I’m happy about that. However, I’m still nowhere near a decision.

I grew up with parents who were married and had different last names. It was very common in the area where I grew up — a major urban area. There was rarely a problem with confusion about last names, or whether certain people were married.

I was in a group of four girls who were really close, and only one of them had parents with the same last name!

As an after-note, two out of the four sets of parents divorced since then. The first divorce was intiated by the name-changer mother. The two couples who are still married have different last names.

This is not to tell anyone what to do, but to say that whether you change your name or not is NOT a good predictor of how successful your marriage will be!

I’m not married yet, but wanted to share my plans, since I noticed no one else planned on this. I’m keeping my name, my middle name, and my maiden name, and just adding his name on at the end. So essentially, I’ll have two middle names. My whole name is so much a part of who I am, and I can’t see deleting any part of it. Casually and formally, I’ll probably just go by Myfirstname Hislastname, but legally, it’ll me Myfirstname Mymiddlename Mymaidenname Hislastname. Seems like a mouthful, but it’s really not too bad.