Wedding Blog

Our wedding ceremony was from 2:30 to 3:30, and the reception started at 5. We had a shuttle leaving from the hotel at 4:45 to go to the reception, so assuming 15 min drive from the church to the hotel, guests had an hour to wait. For family who live in the area (and thus wouldn’t be at the hotel), they came to my parents’ house to hang out and mingle - my mom had some snacks out for them. For my friends from the area, I warned them ahead of time and they planned to hang out at one of their houses to spend the time catching up. I don’t think a gap is too much of a problem as long as guests have somewhere to hang out - at the hotel, or family’s house etc, because usually there are a lot of guests who haven’t seen each other for awhile and they enjoy catching up. Though I agree that 3 hours might be too long.

I think your plans for the tea ceremony and cocktail hour will work out well, as it gives your guests something to do. However I’d check with your church about your points 1, 2 and 3 - I also had a Catholic ceremony, and we had to leave the church by 4:15 because there was a 5:00 pm mass. This evening mass is usually the reason that Catholic wedding ceremonies are scheduled early in the day. It meant we were a bit rushed for the receiving line and pictures following, so depending on how many guests you have, and your church’s restrictions, you might not have much time for both receiving line and pictures with lots of additional guests.

I agree with Helene…there might be other church things going on at night. Also, you don’t want to over schedule stuff, and have you and your new husband running wild just so your guest don’t have to sit around for too long.

I would love any and all tips from this post! This has been my biggest headache yet! Our church only allows mass at 2 or 7:30 pm!!! How crazy is that? I have already begged to push back until three….they said they couldn’t as 5:30 mass must have the confessions available an hour before, etc, etc. I am not sure what to do for I feel 7:30 is too late and I want to enjoy this day! I am toying with the idea of letting the guests go home and change or relax for the reception (which I don’t have starting until 6) — but then that would alienate those that live in town - but too far away to ‘relax’. I am having a full mass simply to buy time!! UGh….this is really really hard to figure out how not to annoy my guests!!

It’s very considerate of you to try to plan around the Catholic gap for your guests. Brides who ask about this on The Knot typically get slammed! I think you have good ideas so far. I’d also try to figure out if there are any local attractions your guests might be able to visit in between (esp attractions they could attend while in dressier clothes).
Your FI’s family/friends are probably used to the gap if they’ve attended Catholic weddings in the past. I think one of the PPs had it right–it’s not too much trouble for guests who are right in-town or who are staying at a nearby hotel. It’s the guests who are traveling 1-2 hours who will be the most stuck. I like the idea of giving them somewhere to mingle for the *entire* time of the gap rather than just the events you have planned for them–is there a room at your reception site that you could open as a “courtesey suite” and have bottled water and snacks, maybe a TV/DVD player?

Good luck!

to be honest, the single best solution for this is to see each other before the ceremony. you have a private meeting a couple hours before (with your photographer), and get to spend time really hugging and crying and telling each other how happy you are…it’s so emotional and powerful.

then you do your couples portraits, and then the family portraits. then you split up for maybe 30 minutes to gather your thoughts before the ceremony.

this has several benefits! 1. you can say whatever you want to each other, when you first see each other…without 200 people and a priest staring at you 2. you insure that key family members and bridal party members are there EARLY, so that no one makes you start the ceremony late 3. you get to go straight from the church to the party!

the downsides: 1. some people are superstitious about seeing each other before. 2. you’ll be taking photos earlier, which might mean the sun is brighter outside than your photographer would like (just before sunset is the best time) but he/she will appreciate the extra time too.

i know it’s not a popular solution (yet), but it really is a wonderful one.

I have the same problem! I used to be the guest complaining about the gap but now I understand!!We have a 3 hour gap too and are letting guests go back to the hotel…I also suggested them not coming to the ceremony but they all said (of course to my face) they want to be there!

I think Jillian Kay might’ve missed the point. It’s not that Miss Toucan WANTS the gap…the church only offers certain times for the ceremony, and those of us who want an evening reception have to choose an early afternoon slot. Which means there will be a gap between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the reception. So I’m not sure how the picture thing has anything to do with Miss Toucan’s question, is the thing. (It was a nice suggestion, though! :))

I had a 3 hour gap myself. My mass was at 1:30 (ending right on time at 2:30!), and then we took our family photos in the church and had our bridal party pics out and about on the town while our guests went to bars or back to the hotel to rest with their kids before the cocktail reception started at 5:30. We only lost one guest, really (not sure what happened there…), and I’m not sure how many didn’t come to the ceremony that made it to the reception part…except my hairdresser, since she had to work all day until the cocktail reception. Not a single person complained.

And having been to weddings like that myself in the past, I’ve never personally had a problem with it, either. I either go to a bar with friends to grab a quick bite and a couple of beers, or I went to someone’s house in one case.

We have a LOT to think about when it comes to throwing the wedding in the first place. Someone once advised on the Knot that we just let grown ups make their own decisions about what they’re going to do during the down time, and it made perfect sense to me. I think that the majority of people would be fine with it, while a small minority would not. That works out in your favor, so don’t sweat it, sista!

I have to be honest, I can’t stand weddings where there is a) a long gap between ceremony and reception, and b) long drive time from church to reception. By the time you travel, etc. you are just too tired to really party! My favorite weddings have been those that do everything on the same grounds/ same location, in one swoop. Ceremony, immediately followed by cocktails, immediately followed by dinner and party. It’s just so much more convenient for guests. So, I think any time between is too much time–

I hope they help

Faith, you’re right! I totally misread the post. I think there were some very nice ideas for offering a hospitality suite for anyone who would like to mingle, as well as offering alternative activity suggestions. Be sure to take advantage of some of that time for some alone time with your new husband, it’s a luxury that many don’t get.

I feel like an odd one here, I actually like the time gap, it gives you time to go swing by the hotel and pick up the gift, or maybe go grab a coffee with some of the other guests you might not have seen in a while. I’ve been to quite a few weddings where there was a gap and I didn’t mind it, I always found something to do.

Our wedding is at 3pm and the reception is at 6pm with a 20minute drive between the venues. I’m thinking about having a cocktail hour from 5pm to 6pm, but I’m not stressing about it.