My New Name
November 30th, 2007 @ 10:26 am by Mrs. Butterscotch
About two weeks after we got married, I changed my last name. Choosing to change or not to change your name is totally personal. Mr. Butterscotch didn’t care one way or the other, so it was all my choice, and I was happy to do so. When I made the change officially at work, it was a big to do. All my co-workers were confused by my email - who was this new person? And my nickname (which was based on a combination of my first and last name) didn’t flow as nicely anymore.
So now I have been Mrs X for a little over 3 months. About a month ago I started a new job. Nobody at my new job knows my maiden name so there was no confusion for them. I was introduced to everyone as Leah X. In fact the first few days I was sick of hearing my name being said over and over again as I met everyone. Today my new business cards arrived, and there it was in black ink - I was Mrs X. Oh. Wow. I am officially Mrs X to everyone. The name that I have been known by for 29 years is gone.
Sure I still accidentally sign my maiden name on occasion, but I just giggle and cross it out and write my married name. I love my new name, but it is such a funny thing to have a name one day and a new one the next.
Are you or did you change your name? How long did it take for you to get totally used to it?
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25 Responses to “My New Name”
Mrs. Butterscotch,
You brought up a good point. I won’t be going through the motions to change my last name on everything until after graduation, but before I start my new job. This way there’s no confusion and won’t be an administrative nightmare.
I took Mr. Onion’s name happily — I always wanted to have a “family” name that I’d share with our kids. I have new business card, the SS card and credit card — still have to change the bank accounts, drivers license, passport etc and it’s been almost 3 months. I’m getting used to it but I haven’t changed my personal emails that are my initials with my maiden last name. Hmm….Should I set myself a deadline?
It was such a hard decision but we also wanted the team name and it’s so much easier for me to change it than both of us or for him to change it, unfortunately so I did it. I personally figured it was best to jump right into the cold pool and I did it as soon as we got back from our two day honeymoon–not the best thing to have to sit in the SS office all day on your last day after the wedding off from work, but it was for a good cause!
It’s been a couple of weeks and I do miss my old name. I do. But I am proud to be a member of my new team so ultimately I am happy with the decision.
I changed to MyFirst MyLast HisLast. So sometimes I catch myself leaving voicemails using just MyFirst MyLast, and I quickly tack on HisLast.
Using this form has caused some confusion. I think some people don’t know if MyLast is a middle or if MyLast HisLast is a double-barrelled last name.
Mrs. Butterscotch stated that choosing to change or not to change your name is totally personal, let’s please not get into discussions of name choices equating to pride and/or love.
I changed it, but I’m still adjusting at work. I have my maiden name on several court documents, and it’s easier to just use that name until the case is over. I do still need new business cards, though…
When I set up my own website domain years ago I purposely used myfirstmymiddle in hopes that one day my last name would change 
So my personal email is me@me.com - no last name. I love it. No changes needed.
I started the name change process the day we returned from the honeymoon too. It’s been 7 months and the only things left on the list are passport, MD’s, and some frequent flyer numbers. (Just a note - most frequent flyer numbers are a pain to change cause you have to mail them documents - so if you plan to travel soon, get on that!) I figured I’d just update my MD’s as a saw them - and haven’t been yet. I do sometimes ask for my bc prescription by the new name and have to correct myself.
It was easiest for my to adjust to writing the new name. Saying it out loud took a little longer. Feeling like it was really me people were talking about took the longest! I still don’t necessarily feel like Mrs. HisLast is me. MyFirst His Last is def me though haha
Initials is a whole nother story. That’s been the hardest change for me - writing my initials. We just refinanced though - and after writing my new initials about about 40 documents at the closing I think I got it!
Snowpea- Oh I know all my degrees say my madien name which is nice. That is smart for you to wait.
Onion- My girlfriend got married the August before me almost exactly a year before me. She changed her name two weeks before I did. So…change it when you are ready. I still have to update my passport but everything else legally speaking is changed.
Maverika- I really like the idea of a team name and I even bought up the idea to Mr Butterscotch, but he didnt like the idea as much as I did. Oh well doesnt hurt to try.
jillian-Oh I forgot to mention the intials! Ugh that has been a pain to adjust to!
I’m planning to change my name right after the wedding…but I’ve been practicing writing it that way for years, haha!
My sister just finished getting her name changed from her October 7 wedding and the other day she sent me her resume to look over and I burst into tears when I saw it said Michelle NewLastName! For some reason it was so emotional for me, haha. I’m such a sap.
I got married over a year ago (last October) and I still am not completely used to the new name. I still get excited when I see things addressed to Mr. and Mrs. xxxx or when I hear people say it.
I’m really glad I changed it - I like having that unity with my hsband.
I got married in July and still haven’t changed my name. I intend to do it someday but I will probably wait for a life change (job move, grad school , etc). We are planning to move to the UK next year and I didn’t want to mess with legal documents or my name since I will be with the same company.
I read a thing that Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire) changed her name for her 5 year annuversary gift to her husband. i thought that was sweet of her.
I officially changed mine a couple of weeks ago (oh, the joy of the SS office!) after my September wedding, and have gotten used to the idea of writing it, but I’m not close to being used to that “being me.” I feel like that might take a very long time! IT at my office switched my name the Monday after my wedding (when I was still gone for 2 weeks) so people had been getting “Kelly New Last Name” emails the whole time I had been gone - no adjustment period for me! I hope I solved the confusion issue by putting my old last name in parentheses in my e-mail signature.
I got married over a year ago (also in October) & I still haven’t got around to changing my name. Sure, the insurance cards, debit card & bank accounts have my married name on it, but @ work I still go by my maiden name since I haven’t gone to the SS office yet (my NY ID & credit card still has my maiden name on it. What’s even better is that my bank has it in the computer that I receive my payroll checks under my maiden name, so my DD doesn’t get messed up!
I’m super excited to change my last name. Now people can’t mess up my first name with my last name. On the other hand I’m losing my initials which are TNT.
I am changing my name (not getting married for another 9 months yet though). I’ve been engaged for almost a year now so I’m pretty used to what my new name will be… I’ve been saying it to myself for a year now and it’s even starting to feel like my name even though it’s not my name yet. The ONE thing I’m choked about, and I actually find this kind of funny, is having to change my signature!! Not that i’m particularly attached to it, but I’m frustrated at having to create a new one! I don’t have one of those illegible signatures that really look like a signature. You can clearly read each letter in my name, and I have no idea how to do it any other way. It took me years to be able to write it really fast. Gah!! At least my initials are staying the same so I won’t have to change my initial signature.
I’m really anxious about changing my name. My fiance and I will be getting married at city hall before our big Catholic ceremony and reception sometime in 2009.
His is an Air Force officer and pilot-in-training and because we live together where he is stationed, it would be best for us to get married sometime soon. However, we won’t really consider ourselves married until it is in the church and we celebrate the occasion with all of our friends and family. Because of that I won’t be changing my name until after our religious ceremony. I’m worried that I will have trouble changing my name so long after the official wedding and that I won’t able to do it without appearing before a judge, etc.
I’m secretly hoping that does happen because although I’m normally pretty traditional, I’m an only child to my father and don’t want my his last name to completely disappear. It is a long complicated last name, as is my fiance’s so there is no way I could hyphenate. He isn’t super keen on me keeping my last name. Are any other Bees who are really attached to their last names, but their fiance really wants them to share a last name?
I’ve been married a little over a month and I’ve already changed my name at work, SS and driver’s license. It was relatively painless and I’m still getting used to the new name. But I love sharing my husband’s name :). But it is kind of wierd having one name for 31 years, and then basically overnight, having another.
I love the timing on this post…I was just thinking about it today! I had everything changed within, oh, 2 months of the wedding. Mymiddle Maidenname Hislastname. And today when I was in class, I realized for the first time how NATURAL my name now feels to me! There’s no more “who? Oh, right–that’s me!” feeling. And that’s really nice
I’m very torn about changing my name. My fiance has made it clear that he expects me to change my name, though he doesn’t mind if I hyphenate or do “mylast hislast” (no hyphen). He just definitely wants it in there somewhere, but it feels very strange to me. I don’t know yet what I’m going to do (we’re getting married in a year). When my sister got married and I first saw her name with her new last name (she completely dropped her maiden name), I was so sad because I felt like we partially lost her, like she wasn’t a part of our family anymore.
Also, I’m in academia and it’s very common for women in the field to maintain their maiden name or hyphenate. I can’t keep my maiden name and I am not a fan of hyphenating so… I don’t know. I’ve got 12 mths to figure it out. lol
Just an idea for all those women that hesitate when losing their maiden name.
It’s very common to give your kids your maiden name. Of course some names work better then others - but I know many kids who have their mom’s maiden names and it’s beautiful. And it keeps the names in the family!
I’m struggling with the name change. I, too, am in academia and feel as if I will be looked down on for changing my name. But it is very important to my fiance that I change my name (though I have to admit he has good reasons).
But I like my name. I am having separation anxiety.
Like you, I had a nickname…well, actually everyone I know just liked to say the first and last name together and I had the alliteration factor going on with the maiden name. I miss that, but still hear it once in a while (including from the husband) so I’m not too sad that my maiden name is gone…but I was!
I’m a teacher so in many ways I’m already used to the name change. Some of my students knew me last year and still call me Ms. K—-, and some have even created a hybrid name between my maiden and married name, which is fun!
It was hard to let go at first–it’s the name that was part of me for 26 years and I loved it. I am proud to be a K—-! But, now I’m proud to be a B——-, and to move up in the alphabet. Ha ha!
I went for the ‘band-aid’ approach and did my name change as soon as I got home from my honeymoon. It was definitely a shock to the system but I love sharing my last name with my hubby; it’s fun being our own family of two!
But I did think it was a giant pain in the you-know-what to navigate the name change process. Am I alone?
Mrs. Butterscotch, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 29, Advertising Sales Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, City Worker
Engagement Date: September 24, 2006
Wedding Date: August 11, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: church ceremony and private club reception
About Me: I am marrying my high school sweetheart 11 years after high school ended! I am a self professed shoe fanatic with a closet full of shoes and only two feet. Planning a wedding has been my fun project since he surprised me with a proposal in Paris. We are spending our last few months preparing for our big day by wrapping up all the small things, buying a house and best of all preparing to live together for the first time.
I will be changing my last name when we are married next year. In fact, the “penn” part of my nickname on weddingbee is part of my FH last name. I can’t wait to change it. I do love my last name, but when we have kids I want us all to have the same name. I will be changing my last name ASAP after the wedding.