Wedding Blog
One of the last few things that Mr. Gardenia and I waited to do was to enroll in our marriage prep class, a requirement to get married in the Catholic Church. We waited on getting this done because we weren’t too sure if wanted to do the weekend retreat or the 1-day class that’s typically done locally in your parish. Most of my friends preferred the engaged encounter/weekend retreat and recommended that Mr. Gardenia and I attend one if we had the choice. They found a lot of value in the weekend retreats because it gave them time as a couple to refocus on their priorities, get away from all the wedding hustle and bustle, and meet other engaged couples to share similar experiences with one another.
Mr. Gardenia and I signed up for a 1-day marriage prep class this weekend at a local parish. Unfortunately since we did wait until the last minute, we weren’t able to attend a class in the same church where our ceremony will be held. We decided to enroll in the 1-day class since we were in a rush to get this accomplished, and tight with our budget. The 1-day classes typically cost around $70-$100 whereas the weekend retreats cost $200-300 since it covers food and lodging for 2 days.
I don’t know what or how to prepare for this class, but I am looking forward to spending time together away from all the busy-ness that we’ve been in the middle of lately. I think we owe it to ourselves just to have some quiet time to talk about our upcoming marriage and the future that lies ahead of us. We figure that, depending on our experience from this 1-day class, we can always attend the marriage encounter which is similar to the weekend retreats, but for married couples instead of engaged couples.
Do you have any classes/requirements that you have to fulfill prior to your big day? What did you learn from them?
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Hi Miss Gardenia,
My fiance and I also are attending the m.p. classes required by the Catholic Church in our area. We had to go to two different classes (one more of a seminar on the Church teaches and the other a “communication” seminar). I was optimistic, and despite our already busy planning schedules, it was so good to get away and get time to dialogue and learn about things that will be important after the wedding! We’ve been using the tools for discussion since the seminars and I am getting continually excited to build our lives together - to which our wedding is only the beginning!
A friend recommended to us a book about preparing your wedding ceremony (for us a Catholic mass) and we’ve loved the sections about how to show hospitality from the beginning of the day to its end and how to really enter into the ceremony, making it both personal and keeping tradition too.
we attended the weekend retreat. hubby didn’t really want to go since he’s not Catholic, but we both really got a lot out of it and learned a lot about each other as a couple and what our expectations were for our future marriage.
We had a choice between the weekend retreat or a 4 week long (once a week) meetings. We chose the 4 course meeting option, and honestly, we didn’t get too much out of it. The test we took at the end was really cool, but they never went over it, so we were left to interpret it ourselves. The only other thing we got out of the class was learning about Natural Planning. We had 1 1-on-1 session with our officiant, and that was more rewarding that our 4 precana classes…
I also went on the Engaged Encounter weekend, and would recommend it for anybody getting married. The money is well worth the weekend of spending time together and relaxing before our big day.
We took the Pre Cana classes here in Singapore - a very intense 6 week course. We were given workbooks with various exercises that we had to discuss at home and then once a week we would meet with our host couple and group to discuss what we had learned. It was very insightful and well worth the time. We very much enjoyed it.
I have no idea how the classes are run in the US. We just went with open minds and hearts…
Moni Rose,
Can you please give the name of the book your friend recommended?
Thanks,
Alicia
miss gardenia-
surprisingly, the m.e. class wasn’t “religion” based… for me, there were hardly any references to God, Jesus, etc… they mostly focus on the relationship itself and how to make it stronger…
they give great “tips” on how to resolve arguments more effectively… honestly, its really hard to use it, but i guess if you’re really dedicated then you’ll do it…
but you’ll love the class! btw, what church are you doing it at (im from the same area as you!)?
Ms. Gardenia,
We went to the EE weekend. Neither of us was that excited about giving up our weekend, but it was a GREAT experience for us. We both walked out of there feeling closer to each other.
My fiance and I attended a 12-week Pre-Marrieds class. Since our home church didn’t offer such class we went to another foursquare church in our area. It was probably the best thing we’ve done during this whole wedding process. We learned a lot and made new friends. We’re actually having dinner tomorrow with 3 other couples that we met in the class. One of the songs we learned from the class is: “Has anyone told you ‘I love you’ today?, has anyone told you ‘I love you’ today?, has anyone told you ‘I love you’ today?, Let me be the first”. A simple song, but it’s great to hear coming from the one you love.
Wow, SO wierd to see this post. I was just talking about this with my friend this morning. I just don’t know what we’ll choose to do, but we are leaning towards doing the 4-week (4-session) class, and then if we want to do more or feel that we could get more out of a retreat, we might do that as well.
Yes, Moni Rose, I want to know that book you mentioned! It’s great to hear that you’ve had pretty positive experiences with your marriage prep.
Also, one thing my fiance and I did that was just a fun activity was we bought Lies at the Altar (a book by Dr. Robin from Oprah) and went through ALL the 300 or so questions in the book. It was so fun to review the things we already knew about each other, and learn some new things, too. GL everybody!
Ms. Donut, Pre-Cana classes are often required here in most Southern Diocese. That’s what I have been expeciting to have to do as well. I’m surprised to hear a one-day option!
I’m also looking forward to a retreat, I’ve heard great things about them from friends who recently got married.
my FI and i are also getting married by the Catholic Church and attended a 1 day retreat on a Saturday. it was from about 9 to 5, and they served us lunch. it was actually pretty informative b/c the different lectures were about finances (HUGE importance), family planning, keeping the passion going for so many years, etc. the people/couples that spoke were very friendly and interesting. i have to admit that we enjoyed ourselves.
We are getting married in the Episcopal Church and our minister requires 4 meetings prior to us getting married. Our first meeting we just discussed our ideas for the wedding, ran through the service, and then we took home a test called Prepare. It had us each fill out a 150 questionaire that asked about everything from our views on who does more house work to how we were raised, to children, sex, communication, and faith. It was interesting to see the results on where we both see problems and where I think we are fine but he doesnt and visa versa.
We did our second session in early November which was focused around the results of the test and it definatly brought up a lot of things for us to work on and our priest gave us some homework (go on at least 2 dates and figure out a way to divide up housework). It was really good to talk about stuff but I honestly dont know if I could have taken 2 straight days of it it was kind of draining emotionally. We have our next session in a week so we will see how we do.
I am in the exact same situation. Our choices are either meet with a group for 2 hours, every week for a month (free), spend a Saturday at another parish ($150) or do a weekend retreat ($300). I think we might do the Saturday. There are also a handful of other meeting to get the liturgy, music, etc. in order. I am very excited about it all! Our first info meeting was just on Monday and I kept smiling.
Hi Ms Gardenia
I highly, highly recommend engaged encounters! We did that and our relationship has been better! It was worth every penny we spent and plus with the stress of wedding planning, we actually enjoyed being away for the weekend and not worrying about anything eventhough what we were doing was still for the wedding! We did a lot of sharing, crying and just getting to know each other. It was sooooooooooo much fun! It wasn’t like Religious-Religious! They focused more on the couple than the religion. It was like a mini-moon for us! Goodluck!
our church that we’re getting married at required a weekend seminar, where we attended a day long of marriage prep workshops on sat and went to worship service and sunday school on sunday with other young married couples. at first i was hesitant about it but i’m sooooooooooo glad we did it- it’s been the best part of wedding planning thus far!!
I think it’s interesting that so many of you enjoyed these classes. I am so incredibly disgusted by the price that it has been impossible for me to not get lividly angry every time the subject comes up. Hopefully I can suck it up and swallow my pride long enough to get something out of it.
The husband and I went through the engaged encounter weekend. We were hoping for a very relaxing weekend…but it turned out to be VERY different. We got to the Santa Barbara site after fighting Friday nite and quickly began going through a book of ‘getting to know your spouse-to-be with lots of communication and questions’. There were TONS of information. For us, we didn’t get too much of it because we had prepared a bit before the whole thing. I borrowed a book from the public library called: “The hard questions : 100 questions to ask before you say “I do” by Susan Piver. It actually goes through all those money, family, and other issues we would face when married. At first it was a bit weird to ask each other.. are we going to have a joint or individual bank account.. but its questions that should be addressed before starting a marriage.
I’m going to precana too in January. Ours is a two-day thing spread out over two weekends in Harlem. I’m looking forward to it, and I hope it gives my boyfriend some perspective about where I’m coming from with the mediation of a priest. We shall see!
We loved our weekend engaged encounter! It was out in the middle of nowhere (very beautiful part of Illinois, however) and quiet and there was no cell reception (a good thing sometimes…).
We didn’t really enjoy our “Christian Sexuality Workshop”, though. It was weeeird.
Hey Kate (previous poster),
Maybe we went to our EE in the same place. Was it in Henry, IL? We went to ours in October there. We came there not knowing what to expect at all. We thought we wouldnt’ learn anything since we’ve already been together 8 years and lived together for 6, but it was a great experience and we learned a lot.
My fiance and I are Mature adults 50+ and will be marrying this year. As catholics we are required to complete a marriage prep class. I see there is a 1 day class which really fits into our schedule. Can anyone tell me where to find one in Orange Couunty, Ca. or nearby.
@lisa:
Get ahold of your church or diocese and they should be able to point you in that direction. I would highly recommend the weekend class if you can do it, though. My fiance and I found it to be really rewarding.
Lisa, my fiance and I are also Mature adults getting married in the Catholic Church. We just came back from an Engaged Encounter weekend. We loved it. We had been dreading it, fearing that is would be annoying, but it turned out to be a great opportunity to talk about some issues that we never really brought up with one another - the real bare bones of life as a married couple: finances, priorities, etc. We also met many other couples with whom we could share ideas. I highly recommend it.
I am in desperate need of help! Can anyone tell me the name of the organization in California that does the 1 day pre-cana class or even the evening classes for 1 month?
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Mrs. Gardenia, La Habra
Age and Occupation: 30, IT Security Administration
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accountant
Engagement Date: February 6, 2006
Wedding Date: January 5, 2008
Venue: Black Gold Golf Club
About Me: After 9 years of dating, I’m finally getting hitched and planning a multi-cultural wedding in Orange County, California. I think making brownies is my secret passion in life - I will make my mark in this world through them (a la Betty Crocker). Aside from baking, I also enjoy scrapbooking, being a dessert connoisseur (current fave: French macaroons), photography and I’m also a self confessed spa virgin turned addict.
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