Only By 5 Months!
December 10th, 2007 @ 8:34 am by Mrs. Butterscotch
I was just looking on msn.com and they had a story about the Hottest Cougars in Hollywood. Now I am no where near a “cougar’s” age, but ever since April, Mr Butterscotch has been teasing me to “enjoy my last year in my 20’s”. I’m older than him only by 5 months!
Age has never really bothered me that much, but his constant teasing does get under my skin once in awhile. Since we’re so close in age, I can say that we have a lot of common memories of growing up. And while the rumor is that men are less mature than women, I can say Mr Butterscotch and I are just about at the same level when it comes to maturity.
But I wondered how some couples who do have a big gap in age make it work? And how do you ladies that are older feel about being the older one in the relationship?
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30 Responses to “Only By 5 Months!”
My parents have a 9-year gap and have been married for almost 30 years… so it definitely can work out! 
MY FI is 7 years older than me. I think it’s true when they say mean mature much later than women, in his case at least. I on the other hand am very mature for my age due to how crazily I grew up, I really had to grow up way too fast & take on adult responsibilities ata young age, but it’s made me a better person with lots of goals and a lot of ambition.
Anyways, our biggest issue is that he will want kids in the new several years, while I on the other hand could probably wait another 7-10 years. But it’s not a huge issue with us because we’re not completely certaint that we actually want children.
Other than that it hasn’t been a very big deal, I get to tease him a lot though (he doesn’t mind) he & his friends are always talking about old song, old movies, etc and I’ll ask “Was that before I was born?”
My husband’s mom was 19 and his dad was 26 when they got married. Not a huge gap, but for a 19-year-old it is! They are celebrating their 27th this year and are still happy and in love.
We know one couple where the woman was half the age of the man when they got married. She was 22 and I think he was 45. They are also still happily married, with 6 children!
Mr. Lovebird is about 10 months younger than me but luckily we were born in the same year (1982) so in terms of being in the same grade and having the same zodiac sign (dog) we are equals. But he does tease me sometimes although I’m just 10 months older! We are only the same age for about 46 days out of the year. But we’ve made it work the last (almost) 7 years…
My husband is only 3 years older than me. Not a huge difference. I would say most of the time he acts about 12
My mom was 19 and my dad 27 (8 yrs) when they met. They married when she was 21 and had kids at 22 and 23. It never really seemed like the gap was that big and they were happily married for 28 years when he passed away.
Now she’s 53 and engaged (after 4 mos of dating) to someone who’s 73. I’m not so comfortable with this 20 yr age gap. It seems HUGE!
Yet my s-i-l is 30 and married to a 51 year old. I think they’ve been married for 4 or 5 years now? They have a wonderful relationship and you don’t really feel that age at all. She’s pretty mature. I mean she’s only a year older than me, but I feel more like there’ s a 5 year gap. Maybe it’s cause I don’t always feel quite like an adult - even though I’m 29!
my husband is almost 2 yrs younger than me. i’m 29 going to be 30 next month, and he just turned 28. for 3 short months we are just one number off from each other, but for most of the year it’s 2 numbers off. personally, i hate it. i hate turning 30 before him. but really, when you’re that close in age, it true that age is “just a number.”
when we were just friends i used to view him as a much younger boy. kind of like a younger brother. until one day he asked me to view him as an equal. that really changed my view and how i treated him. and when we began dating all distance in age really no longer existed.
My fiance is 10 years older but we have enough in common aside from age that it truly doesn’t matter. We share a lot of the same interests and look at life in a lot of the same way which really helps. Sometimes people that are the same age don’t have that, in which case they could be months apart or years and it would be the same.
We have made it work so far, have been together for 3 years before deciding to get married and can’t say there aren’t some difficulties but again, I believe that those are true in every relationship regardless of the age gap. If you love each other and have enough going for you, same look towards the future, interests, etc. You can get through those.
My mother is 8 years younger than my dad, but they met a little later in life (I was born during their first year of marriage when my mom was 32) and both of them had been married before. They’re still married, and I just don’t think of them as having a big age gap at all.
FH is 3 years older than me, and he teases me about some things from the ’80s that I don’t remember. I’m definitely the only one of my friends dating someone with more than an age gap of 1 year either way, but it works out better this way for us.
I sometimes think the smaller the gap, the bigger deal the guy makes of it: my sister is three WEEKS older than her husband, but for those three weeks when her age is a higher number, he needles her about being an “old woman”. Pretty silly.
My FI is 7 years older than me and we have a ton in common. We both have the same family values and since I didn’t have cable growing up (my Dad was only able to get it 2 years ago) I watched a lot of reruns of the shows he watched as a kid. Since he was born in the 60s and I was born in the 70s there can sometimes be an expeeriences issue but not a whole lot.
On the other hand, my mom is 10 older than my step dad and his maturity level is an issue. I don’t think there would be much of a difference even if he was the same age or older. He’s just one of those men who never quite grow up.
I’m 3.5 years older than my husband. It doesn’t cause problems for us, really. I owned my home when I met him, and have been more financially stable than he has for a lot longer. (In fact, his financial stability has been induced by our relationship…and it still has a bit of a way to go, IMO.)
The weirdest moments for us occur when we’re talking about a movie or a song or a t.v. show that was out when we were younger. I was a freshman in high school when he was starting junior high. I was a freshman in college when he was a freshman in high school! So our perspectives on things in that respect adds an interesting twist to certain conversations. (He also grew up in a very religious home, and wasn’t allowed to watch t.v. when he was growing up, so my references to things like the Cosby Show, or Three’s Company fall on deaf ears. So annoying!)
He doesn’t tease me about being older. But we’re in our 30’s, so maybe it’s because we’re beyond that? I dunno. (I remember doing a lot of taunting when my older brother turned 25, and remember the same things happening to me as I moved into my late-20’s/early-30’s. But once we’re actually IN our 30’s, the taunting stops. Because it’s just not that old…and you’re just going to get older! So ya gotta suck it up and deal at some point or another!)
Age doesn’t matter. Your connection in your relationship is all that matters. I dated a guy for a while just before I met my husband that was 20 years older than me. He’s still a very good friend of mine. We get along because we like the same things, and have loads of stuff in common. Didn’t have anything to do with age.
Hang in there! Don’t let his taunting bother you, because really, it means nothing.
I get to freak everyone out and say that my fiancee is 22 years older than me. We’ve been together for 5 years and living together for about 4 of those 5 years. I get concerned about our age difference when it comes to long term plans - like kids. But to be honest, I was kind of so-so when it came to deciding whether or not I wanted kids, so I figured that kind of helps make that decision for me.
When it comes to day-to-day areas in our relationship, I really don’t see a difference. He is so young at heart and fun. And I’m really mature for my age. It was a tough adjustment for my family at first, but now everyone we know is quite comfortable with it, since they’ve seen us interact.
Oh and I just “really love it” when he pull out our marriage certificate and reminds me that it says he is 28 and I am 29.
Puffy how old are you?
My parents are 8 yrs apart and my sister and her hubby are 9 years apart. In both instances, the men are older. My fiance is 4 years younger than me. At times I get annoyed with his occasional immaturity, though I think it will get better. Right now we’re on the opposite sides of 30 (I’m 32, he’s 28) and it feels like a significant difference because of that. I’m hoping it smooths out with time, but we don’t have too many issues with it b/c he always says he’s convinced I’m lying and am only 25 because that’s how old I look. Hehe - is he good or is he good? 
My husband is 11.5 years older. I totally don’t notice the age gap when it’s just us — but once in a while I feel it when we’re with his friends. He has a wide range of friends –from my age to ten years older than he is — but a number of them are just at a different point in their life cycle, so it’s a struggle to figure out what we have in common at times (although most are very, very nice). I think our relationship is helped by the fact that my husband has a fairly youthful spirit. I’m not sure if I can imagine him settling down at a younger age than he is now.
my mom is i think 4 years older than my dad and they’re working on 30 years of marriage. i’m actually only 9 months older than my bf and the only thing that bothers me is how he complains about being old even though he’s not [i'm 26 and he's 25]. OMG i’m 26! sorry…just had a moment there]. if he thinks HE’S old then what does that make ME?! lol.
My parents have a 7 year age difference, which is not a big deal, IMHO. My dad always assumes that he will pass away before my mom, but I think he’s just spending too much time worrying about taking care of the family even if we are gone.
My fiance is 2.5 years younger, and I think it’s perfect. I’m actually glad that he’s a little younger, because women tend to live longer. We joke sometimes - he’ll call me old and I’ll call him a kid - but that’s because it’s not a big deal. Although when we first met and I was a lawyer and he was still in law school, I hated that he lived in a dorm!
His parents have a 28 year age difference, though. His mom didn’t think she wanted kids, but changed her mind in her 30s and they had him and his sister. His parents are still together, but now it seems to be more of a caretaker relationship than one of equals. She’s 62 and he’s 89, though in pretty good health. It seems really, really hard to me. I think that she is very lonely. It’s hard to have couple-friends with such a big gap, and he can’t really participate in life the same way anymore, can’t travel, isn’t even as great at participating in conversations. They are completely different stages of life. When my FI’s sister started dating someone older, his mom was really upset, and since I’ve only seen his sister date guys very close to her age.
I am a good deal older than my husband and probably technically a “cougar” (though I don’t FEEL old enough or predatory enough to be one!)
Mr. beanchar always says that age is only the number of times you’ve traveled around the sun and I tend to agree. He’s always been mature for his age and I still feel like I’m in my twenties (except for the crows feet!).
Funnily enough– though he tells me not to worry about my age– he freaked out about turning 30 last year. Apparently, I am a fine wine and he is eggnog— only one gets better with age.
In the end, I think it’s about compatibility, not birthdays. It helps that neither of us have ever wanted children, so my declining fertility is not an issue.
I do tell him I can’t wait until he has to push me everywhere in a wheelchair and once I go gaga he can take up with my perky home health aide as long as he continues to provide me soft foods and she wipes my drool regularly!
Someday soon, I hope to be the first blogger on hotflashbee.com!
My BF and I are 10 days apart in age, and he is older. However, because of medical issues he had to grow up fast. I had a normal, healthy childhood while he was deathly ill until his teens. My mom told me once that she always thought that I would end up with an older man like she did (5 years difference), but that when she met my BF she knew he was the one.
I am three years older than my bf and sometimes the maturity level is quite obvious. Guys generally act younger than their age, while some women act older…When you combine those factors, being older than your SO can be absolute emotional chaos. What makes things work with us is that we both are on the same page when it comes to really important issues such as dealing with money, religion, family and marriage ideals, etc. When maturity is needed, he really steps up to the plate and proves himself able to handle situations appropriately. It’s really about me learning how to give and take - Give my patience and have a sense of humour while taking his love and his ability to be silly to get me to lighten up.
Yes yes yes. I ditto peakay!
I’m 3 years older than Mr. T. Doesn’t matter much, except when we’re talking about memories from childhood. Or when we talk about college dates — I finished in 3 years, so my college graduation date is the same as his graduation from high school. A small thing, but it makes me feel old every time!!
Hey Mrs.Butterscotch- sorry that this is totally off-topic, but I was wondering which salon Tim who did your hair works for- he did such an AMAZING job and I’d love to keep his name on file for my big day =)
I’m 3 years older than Mr Kangaroo, 27 vs 24 (though for 2 precious months each year it looks like only 2 years difference!) We’re both as immature as each other so I think it works out well
His friends occasionally give us a bit of grief about it, but there are a few couples with 2-3 year age differences in that group so it’s not a big deal.
Like Tulip said, it’s when you start talking about graduation years that you really notice the difference, otherwise we rarely do.
Hi Kaleigh! Thanks! Tim works at Gene Juarez in Bellevue. He is a senior designer. Make sure you say Tim, because there is also a junior designer named Jin that I he mentioned they confuse him with.
I am 16 years younger than my husband and we have been together for 3 years and married for 4 months. (Not that long but meh).
I have two brothers that married women older than them - one 10 years older (been married 11 years) and one 4 years older (been married 4 years).
I think it just has to do with where each person is in their life, what they want to do with their life, and how much each is willing to compromise… same for any relationship. 
I’m 7 years older than my FI - the only time we ever notice is when we’re discussing something historical or something that has to do with prior history.
An example, one night we were talking about sad movies - he said he cried when he watched ‘The Lion King’. I laughed at him…then realized he was only about 5 years old.
I’m a little less than two years older than my husband BUT we got married in September when he was 25 and I was only 26. It was a bit hard on us since we met in college when I was a senior and he was 2nd year. I stayed in the area waitressing for a year and a half before he graduated as well and we moved away together.
I’m really surprised no one else mentioned this but when we tell someone that I’m about 2 years old about HALF THE TIME they’ll turn to me and go “Oooh robbing the cradle” and then they’re totally screwed because that is not the thing you want to say to me! Mostly because if HE was two years older no one would say that.
Anyway- I’m glad no one else seems to have the inappropriate jerk comment issue we do. But if they do you just give me their names and I’ll take care of it. Tee hee!
I don’t really love it, but most of the time I don’t mind it. It helps that he has quite a crop of grey hair and I still get carded occasionally. The worst was when his parents made a comment about it once…
Great topic for a post. =)
Mrs. Butterscotch, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 29, Advertising Sales Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, City Worker
Engagement Date: September 24, 2006
Wedding Date: August 11, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: church ceremony and private club reception
About Me: I am marrying my high school sweetheart 11 years after high school ended! I am a self professed shoe fanatic with a closet full of shoes and only two feet. Planning a wedding has been my fun project since he surprised me with a proposal in Paris. We are spending our last few months preparing for our big day by wrapping up all the small things, buying a house and best of all preparing to live together for the first time.
Well Im not talking about me, but my parents had a 14 years gap. Well, they still do, but my parents seperated when I was 5. I have to say the age difference was partly the cause of the break-up.
Eldest sister flamingo had 16 year difference with her hubby… but are no longer together… for other reasons. So in my surroundings the bigger the gap the less likely its going to work out!
Luckily Mr.F and I have 5 years difference… so its not that bad. Well I hope so