
When it comes to wedding style, I consider myself somewhat traditional and classic in my taste. I don’t want to see Mr. Jasmine before the ceremony, I love hand-written notes, and I frequently consult Emily Post’s Guide to Etiquette. But that doesn’t mean I’m not making a few untraditional choices. Here are the two big ones:
(1) No Bridal Party: Traditionally, Indian weddings don’t have bridal parties. But more and more Indian couples in the United States and India are featuring bridesmaids and groomsmen in their weddings. So people were very surprised to learn that I was doing away with a bridal party altogether.
It was not an easy decision to make– I love the female companionship and camaraderie of bridesmaids. But Mr. Jasmine and I both agreed that it would be too difficult to choose among friends and family, so we decided not to have a bridal party at all.
During our wedding ceremony, we will have our parents and brothers stand beside us instead. We’re very close to our families, so it’s a fitting touch. Also, we think it’s a special way to honor the important role they’ve played in our lives.
(2) My Brother Is Walking me Down The Aisle: For two reasons, I’m having my baby brother (now 20 years old, so not such a baby!) walk me down the aisle. For one, my parents will be occupied at the start of the ceremony. Right before the ceremony begins, the groom and his family and friends arrive in a procession called a baraat. It’s the role of the bride’s family and friends, her parents in particular, to warmly welcome the baraat and lead them to the site of the wedding ceremony. So I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of events by having my dad leave to walk me down the aisle.
Additionally, in South Indian culture, the bride’s maternal uncle traditionally walks her to the mandap (the traditional Indian marriage canopy). Since my mom has six brothers, choosing among them seemed next to impossible. I decided that my brother would walk me down the aisle instead. There is something very amusing and very special to me about having my little brother (who is six years my junior but a whole foot taller than me) walk me down the aisle. My dad will still play a special role, as he, my mom, and brother will stand next to us during the ceremony.
It’s kind of interesting that the two major traditions I’m not adopting (bridal party + dad walking me down the aisle) are not traditional to India at all. In the end, I suppose that makes me a traditional Indian bride and a nontraditional American one?
In what ways are you bucking tradition? And in what ways are you following it?
images courtesy of Andrena Photo and Jessica Claire
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