Bah, Humbug!
December 12th, 2007 @ 6:18 pm by Mrs. Toucan
I’m usually one of those crazy Christmas loving people. You know, one of the people who blast their Christmas music as soon as they finish eating their Thanksgiving dinner, or one of those crazy shoppers up at the ass crack of dawn to go shopping on Black Friday for the perfect gift for everyone on their list.This year, I can’t help feeling like an Ebenezer Scrooge.
This Christmas, Mr. Toucan and I decided we won’t be giving each other gifts. With all the stuff we have to buy for the wedding, we thought we’d just end up buying each other stuff we didn’t “need.” However, I’m starting to feel a little sad about our agreement of no gifts this year. On message boards everywhere and on BeeTV, everyone’s talking about what they are getting their FI/hubby. I feel so anti-Christmas!
I LOVE finding the perfect gift for Mr. Toucan. I love the look on his face when he opens up the gift - the gift so perfect for him that he didn’t even think about putting it on his list. And that won’t be happening this year. 
We might buy some wedding-related stuff for each other “for Christmas.” It’s not quite the same, but I guess it’s something.
What are you ladies (and gents?) giving your SO for Christmas this year? Have you altered your normal gift-giving practices because of wedding plans?
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23 Responses to “Bah, Humbug!”
Don’t feel anti-Christmas! You’re just temporarily anti-*stuff*. Husband and I haven’t exchanged gifts for anything (no anniversaries, no birthdays, no nothing) since 2004. We like to go out to a nice dinner and a movie instead of buying each other gifts….it’s more fun to spend time together anyway!
I don’t have time to wrap the gift I have bought already!
No worries, Miss Toucan, I’m right there with you! I’m not even putting up my tree this year — putting it up and taking it down would just add another item to the “to do” list.
Months ago, I asked Mr. T to give me a t-shirt I’ve been coveting. (He calls me “Badger” because of my home state, and the shirt just says “Badger” across the front in script.) So I’ll have to get him something in return but will just make it. We’re both seriously stressed about having TOO MUCH STUFF once I move into his place post-wedding!
Heh - yeah my mum keeps telling me I’m anti-Christmas because I’m refusing to put up a tree, Christmas lights or other decorations this year. We’re not even going to be at home for Christmas and we’re so busy, it just doesn’t sound like fun to me, it would be a chore. So we’re not doing it. My fiance was so relieved when I gingerly told him I wasn’t sure I wanted to do any Christmas decor. I thought he’d be disappointed but he was so happy not to have to worry about it. We’ll still get to see pretty trees when we visit each of our parents.
I am getting people gifts this year and so’s my fiance but we have decided to spend half our usual gift budget this year. We are buying each other Christmas gifts, but you know what we decided to cut back on gifts and expenses? We’re not going to give each other wedding gifts. I’m so glad not to have to worry about it. I do secretly kind of hope he gets me some flowers and has a note delivered to my room while I’m getting ready though!
i always struggle for gifts for the bf because he never really knows what he wants or has everything he needs [he's big into computer/techy stuff but he has a nose of deals so i leave that up for him to handle] so i’ve been resorting to random but cool things. this year i’m having trouble finding an affordable generation 1 transformer [either i lose the auction or the bidding gets too rich for my blood] so i may just opt for a nice track jacket i saw at one of his favorite stores…a jacket he won’t be able to wear until the spring/summer thanks to the cold midwestern weather. lol
We put a hold on gifts this year too.
I hate it even though I know it is the right thing to do. I love giving presents especially to my husband, and I feel like I am missing out this year.
We’re going to Italy for Xmas, so that is our “gift” to each other.
What about this idea for a no-cost present that you could still enjoy watching him “open:
A slide-show of photos of you two set to a fun or meaningful song (bonus: you could use it at the rehearsal dinner or wedding as well)
You could tie a bow around the laptop (or monitor) to make it feel more “present-y”
Another fun little-or-no-cost idea is a scavenger hunt. Mr beanchar did one for me when we were first dating adn he was a poor grad student.
Each clue sent me to a location where there would be a “prize” and a clue to the next stop. The prizes were little and cheap dimestore stuff, but it was fun to hunt for them and figure out the clues. Each stop was a place that had some meaning to him, me or our new relationship. It was such a fun day, driving and walking around and laughing together. I realize with lots of wedding projects, this might not be the time to take on another thing requiring planning! 
Whatever you do, don’t worry about being Grinch-like this year. Remember, he had a super-cute dog and an cool ice cave!
We’re having a mini-getaway right before X-Mas so we put a $20 price limit on gifts for each other. I’m making him pillow cases with our faces iron-transferred onto each one. We’ve gotten into the habit of snuggling more with our pillows that with each other, so this is my way of feeling better about that. I literally for a couple nights was jealous of his pillow. (Yeah, I”m kinda lame like that.) But if my face is on his, I’ll feel better!
We’re not doing Christmas gifts this year either. We decided this last year when we realized that each year we just keep spending and spending and trying to out-do the year before- alas the commercialism of Christmas. The main reason we aren’t doing it this year is because we have to pay for the wedding in April. Don’t feel anti-Chrismas… you should still decorate your house and bake cookies (or whatever you cook!). 
We’ve decided that our gift to each other is to split the deposit on our ceremony site (since we’re only that far into planning).
That doesn’t mean I didn’t love every second of putting up my little four-foot apartment tree!
don’t worry! we are holding off on gift giving during out engagement as well and not participating in our annual friends’ white elephant party
We decided to put a hold on all gifts (xmas, bday, anniversary) until we have more money in general. I think that’s normal, whether or not you have the cash. Besides, if you have a joint checking account, it’s kind of like you’re buying yourself a present!
I hear you on this, I think what’s killing me, is that it’s almost taboo to wish someone a merry Christmas,you have to say happy holidays now, and no more ho ho ho, according to the news it offends people so Santa says ha ha ha, now, and it was on the news last night that they want to put Santa on a treadmill, come on people!
What about making him something? I’m not sure how much Martha Stewart you have in you, but you could make him breakfast in bed or surprise him with his favorite dessert. I just saw this amazing idea on the knot where a girl gave her fiance a jar full of little notes to him, one for every day until the wedding. There were love quotes, romantic song lyrics, memories of the two of them together, things she was looking forward to once they got married, etc. I thought it was so sweet and such a great gift- without actually buying a gift. Then you can still feel like Santa without hurting the wedding budget.
I love Christmas too much to give up gifts! I would rather severely cut back then cut out… although I still have 9 months until my wedding!
Last year we had some kinda of deal - I forget if it was $20 or it had to be homemade or what. I knitted him a winter hat (that was way too big) and he gave me a little jar of notes/coupons I could trade in. They were really sweet and from his heart and I loved it!
Somehow this year I just started buying him things - he was kinda bummed when he found out I had bought him stuff cause he though we weren’t exchanging gifts. Really he hates to shop and doesn’t want to have to think up gifts. So I sent him to a local craft show and told him exactly which earrings I wanted. I think from now on I’ll be buying the presents for him - and the presents for myself Works for me - but I hope he does surprise me with something thoughtful!
I bought him a pair of Bolle Sunglasses he’s been talking about FOREVER! Plus some other ’stuff’ - but that’s his big gift.
Trust me, I ADORE Christmas, but this year with the house, the upcoming wedding, and graduate school the Old Boy and I have no business spending money on each other.
Still, we’ve had one of the best holiday seasons EVER. Here’s how: because we want to keep our traditions alive, we still gussied up the house with lights and a tree. We also bought small gifts for our families and wrapped them together. We had a cocktail/ hors d’ouevres party with our best friends instead of exchanging gifts with them. We also “adopted” two needy children and their father for the season. Although we’ve never met them, we purchased small essentials for them and donated through a local charity. We’ve also volunteered for the Salvation Army once a week at their Angel Tree at the mall. We’ve made a gingerbread house together, had a snowball fight, and next week we’ll drive around to look at Christmas lights.
On Christmas morning, we will exchange the only present we’re giving each other- an ornament. There are no rules on how these ornaments have to be obtained. They can be purcahsed, made, bartered for, passed down from other families. The only rule is that they have to be meaningful and represent who we are and what we’ve experienced over the year. There will probably be a Christmas in the not-so-distant future where we do exchange gifts, but through the years we’ll be able to look at all our ornaments and have lasting memories. I can’t wait!
Although this because MUCH more lengthy than I anticipated, what I am trying to say is that the gifts don’t make the holiday. The two of you do.
Merry Christmas to you both, and to all the Bees and readers!
After the wedding and traveling involved we were drained… so we decided no gifts for eachother and no gifts for anyone over 18 in the family :). We did put up decorations because I love the holidays, but for the most part, we’re not getting into the shopping this year. However, we did want to get a flat screen tv so that was our early gift to eachother.
We’re not exchanging this year (between the wedding, honeymoon and new condo coming up…), either. I didn’t even put up a tree! The holidays are just whizzing by. But I know I’ll feel in the spirit on Christmas Eve and Christmas.
no trees, no presents, no lights. all these comments are depressing me. It’s not just about the wedding. What about when the wedding is over? I understand that money is tight for many people - for a host of reasons - but i could not forgo a tree.
You ladies are awesome. I’m glad I’m not the only one not doing our usual presents. Thanks for the suggestions too! Maybe I will make something for Mr. T - if I have time.
I don’t believe that Christmas is about the presents, trees or lights (I actually do have a tree- of some sort at least). This will be the first Christmas that Mr. Toucan and I spend together- we’ll be on a joint vacation with both of our families (another reason for no gifts)! Being with our families is more Christmas to me than and tree or gift. As much as I am a little sad that we won’t being doing gifts, I fully intend to have a HAPPY Christmas full of holiday cheer.
Other years we have agreed to a $25 max gift price. I have to say those are some of the gifts that I have truly treasured. They have included books on places that you want to visit “someday”, wool socks (I know but I REALLY love Smartwool), and a date to go ice skating.
I think there are many wonderful things you can do for each other. A heart to heart may go a long way towards providing a compromise.
That is not exactly what i meant. Obviously lights and tree and presents do not a christmas make, but they are part of it. Along with making cookies, wreaths, singing carols, seeing old friends, giving to those less fortunate, church etc…..However, i do feel sometimes that people get so into their wedding that for 1-2 years all else falls by the wayside. MAny a bride, myself included, have suffered from post-wedding blues and it sucks. I would not want that to happen to anyone else, but if you disregard other traditions b/c of complete wedding focus i do believe it can have negative effects. that is all. i am not trying to preach.
Mrs. Toucan, Boston
Age and Occupation: 25, Full-time Research Assistant, Part-time Graduate Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Actuary
Engagement Date: February 18, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: November 07, 2007
Venue: St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant
About Me: I’m a Gemini to the extreme. On one side, I’m a girly girl. I read countless bridal and fashion magazines, and have an obsession with keeping up with the latest Hollywood gossip. On the other side, I’m a sports fanatic. Despite being a full-time bride-to be, full-time research assistant, and part-time student, I’m also a full-time Red Sox fan from spring training to October, and a full-time Patriots fan from mini-camp to February. I devote almost as much time researching my for fantasy football team as researching for our wedding!
i told him not to give me anything bc he just spent all this money on bling! =) but i did say that if he were to find a fun notebook or something for wedding stuff that i would like that!