Off The Map
December 17th, 2007 @ 8:31 am by Mrs. Robin
I dread the question. Everyone asks it!”Where are you guys going to live?”
Here in Portland, what part of the city you live in says a lot about you. Before you ask newly met people what they do for a living, you ask them what part of the city they live in? I live in Alberta currently (crafts oriented, arty, coffee-fueled, funky) and Mr. Robin lives in Sellwood (community-oriented, good food, supports local merchants).
So the fact that we have no idea where we are living is a source of great concern to everyone who asks the question. They don’t know where to place us. I have to say it bothers me a little too. I love certain parts of the city, but I don’t know if we will be able to afford them right away.
But the truth is, we can’t focus there right now. We have this huge trip coming up (we’re travelling for a couple months after the wedding), and we are still waiting in some ways for some direction on what that trip will be about. How can we think of an apartment that we won’t occupy for another eight months? I can tell them where our storage unit is going to be.
What questions does everyone ask you about getting married that you just dread?
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11 Responses to “Off The Map”
Well, I’m not engaged yet…and the question we get asked ALL the time is, “When are you getting married?” And I’m getting tired of it. You think they’d know that we’d tell them when it happens. Duh!
I also get the whole kids issue all the time. Not always a question, just sometimes more a comment made about “our kids.” Listen people, I just want to get married and enjoy some time with my FI. It just feels a little overwhelming to talk about kids, especially when I know neither myself or FI are ready for kids. Seriously, one thing at a time!
I’m with you on the “Where are you going to live?” question. FH is applying for residency programs, and we won’t know until late March! We’re getting married in June, and it’s a very stressful question for me because, most likely, it will involve me quitting my job, us finding an apartment/house/condo, me applying for grad school, moving, and getting married in the space of very few months.
I am so sick of everyone presuming that I am going to drop out of graduate school to move with my fiance when he starts residency (we’ll be married by then) and asking what I am going to do with my life. I am NOT dropping out, and transferring is not an option this late in the game. I’m sorry, but I didn’t bust my butt for 4 years of undergrad to pursue a double major in biology/political science and a double minor in chemistry/math and then work my way this far towards a Ph.D. in oncology just to be a housewife or get some other job for which I am totally overqualified, just to follow my husband around like a puppy. The world will not end if we live apart for 2-3 years while I finish my degree; then, when I am done, I will try to find a post-doc position somewhere within an hour commute of where he is so we can live together. I am just really sick of everyone presuming that I will be giving up my education to move right away, and their disapproving looks when I state that I will not be dong so.
Just wanted to give Alberta a shoutout! I live at 25th and Going! Maybe we’ve had coffee at Random Order together before…
gotta agree with nellio on this one….waiting on an engagement and every single soul who knows either of us is asking ME all the time
“When are you getting married?”
why not ask him???? he’s the one who’s gotta ask me, so back off of me, please!!!!
i can sense that kids are right behind that one….his mother is antsy for some grands from her decidely favorite son.
great……
He’s lived in “my house” since nearly two years before the wedding, but his mother still thinks we’re going to move any minute now. She insists the house is too small for two people, and I want to say “look around! Every other house in this neighborhood is exactly the same size, and there are 3-4 people living in most of them!”
i’m not engaged either but am in a ldr so we get the whole “where are you going to live” all the time coupled with “when are you going to get engaged?/are you engaged yet?” questions. i usually tell them that as soon as i find out i’ll be sure to let them know.
We recently delayed our wedding because my dad is ill and I want him to walk me down the aisle well, and our guests know this. I already ordered my dress pre-postponement, and my pet peeve question is: “Well what are you going to do with your dress now?” implying we’re not getting married. I just reply
with “Now I have something to wear while vacuuming!”
I’m with nellio, LadyT, and tea with the “when are you getting engaged/married?” when we aren’t even engaged yet. No one is ever satisfied with my answer that it will happen when it happens!
Mrs. Robin, Portland
Age and Occupation: 26, Client Services Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Professional Poker Play/Options Trader
Engagement Date: September 5, 2007
Wedding Date: January 5, 2008
Blogging Since: November 2, 2007
Venue: Portland Armory
About Me: I am a wine-loving, earring-obsessed foodie who lives in Portland, OR. I design jewelry as a hobby and love to shop for jeans, shoes, and vintage furniture. I am a crazy mix of modern and traditional values, and I can't wait to marry my best friend and see where God will lead our lives together.
“So when are you going to have kids?” Is it wrong that I want to enjoy being married first before we get into the kid thing - if we are getting into the kid thing?