A Rose By Any Other Name
December 18th, 2007 @ 11:27 am by Mrs. Jasmine
I’ve only been at my job for a little over a year– the nameplate outside my office is brand-new and I have a large stack of business cards I’ve barely made a dent in. But six months from now, I’ll fill out paperwork for a new nameplate and a new stack o’ business cards– I’m going to change my name!
The feminist in me demanded that I at least consider *not* changing it. And I did– I’ve had my name for as long as I can remember. My awards, papers, and diplomas are in my maiden name. And the process of changing names seems like a lot of paperwork, hand-wringing, and hair-pulling.
So why am I changing it? Because my fiance’s last name is a lot shorter 
Okay, that’s not the only reason why, but it’s a biggie. My current last name is long and frequently mispronounced. My whole life, I’ve cringed as people completely butchered my last name in unimaginable ways. I once had an elementary school teacher mispronounce my name so it rhymed with something really embarrassing. Talk about mortifying! So the the idea of changing to a really short, extremely easy to pronounce name is very appealing. Plus, I have a brother to carry on the family name
Do any of you like your new last name more than your old one?
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35 Responses to “A Rose By Any Other Name”
Love my new name. It is really weird though. Like I’m part of a different family, not the family I grew up with?
I’m looking forward to my new name, although it’s a little harsh to my ears (very German). My last name is currently and has always been hyphenated. This caused me a lot of angst as a kid where people would drop one name, think one was my first name or reverse them completely. Even now, because of my hyphenated last name, people think I’m already married, which is even more confusing. I can’t wait to simplify!
Funny. As much as I loved being a _ _ _ _ (and will always feel like a _ _ _ _), I’ve always felt my maiden name was kinda blah. As well as always misspelled and mispronounced - even though it’s only one letter off from many common words such as Path and Bath! People just see it and start adding their own letters!! I looked forward to the day I would get married and change my name - even though I didn’t know what that new more exciting/easier name would be!
My new name is still only 4 letters - but it has a Z in it And that’s fun! I don’t think I’ve had a spelling/pronunciation problem with it yet!!
I’m really looking forward to my new last name — Ross.
It’s short and sweet and sounds good with every first name!
I have the same issues as you, Miss Jasmine!
My maiden name was 11 letters long and is frequently butchered!!!
My DH’s last name is 5 letters long and a lot easier. (But, it’s already been mispelled a few times by credit card companies and the like-which I just find hilarious!).
I’m 34 years old and have been at my company for 12 years, so it’s been interesting to say the least to change it. It was a hard decision, but I’m glad I decided to do it. (And, still am in the process even after 2 months of doing it–it’s such a pain!)
I’m still not used to it and still can’t answer the phone with my new name–I keep going back to my maiden one. =)
I’m currently debating this in how it affects my website. I have my firstnamelastname .com registered, but what would be my firstnamenewlastname .com is already taken as it is much more common.
I’ll probably keep the old domain as a redirect, but I need to get creative with the new one.
well my fi’s last name is the same length as mine, but his starts with an L and mine starts with a W. I hate always being at the end of the alphabet! i always sat at the back of a classroom or was called towards the end because of my w last name.
argh!
my maiden name is only four letters long, but people have always had a hard time with it. my married name will never be misunderstood and i love love love it! it’s a nice bonus for the name change. would i have jumped to change my name had mr. onion’s last name been long and difficult — i’m really not sure.
I’m considering the hyphen because his last name is so plain! Plus then no one would know I’m Asian from my last name alone - is that weird?
ha ha I’m with you on this….every conversation is like, “G - g as in george, a as in apple, t like thomas” plus 7 more letters to go…I can’t wait to have a more simple name but will miss my nicknames associated with my maiden name…
I think my soon to be new last name is great! My children will thank me as they will have moved up in the alphabet! No more waiting until the teacher has sat every other student before them! They will be greatful, I’m sure!
My maiden name and my married name are just qualitatively different. I did, however, legally change my name so that my maiden name is now my second middle name to honor my upbringing and professional and personal accomplishments.
I have the same issue, I can’t wait to change my name from the long Sri Lankan one to the short Irish one =)
My last name is 12 letters, but it’s not getting much better - his is 10 and often misspelled. Good thing I usually just go by my first name at work.
I’m with ya Miss Jasmine - hurrah for simpler last names! But let me ask you this - if you brother never got married/had kids, do you think you’d consider keeping your last name or give your own children a semblance of your maiden name?
SH: I think I would. In fact, I still go back and forth about making my maiden name my middle name. I can totally understand wanting to retain some of your background/family in your name, considering how important names are to our identities.
Cookiechristina– that’s why I think it’s totally cool that you’re hyphenating your name. I would want my name to still give some indication of my ethnic background too.
I’ve gone back and forth about changing my last name. I have a long (11 letter), ethnic last name that I love. Hyphenating it isn’t an option because I don’t want to have a tongue twister for a name.
I thought about making my maiden name my legal middle name, but then I would lose my actual middle name, Rose, which is a family named passed down for generations.
Oh, what to do?
In the end I will most likely change it to the Old Boy’s last name for ease and so that our future children and the two of us will have the same name. Of course, once I change I’ll have the exact same name as his sister!
I don’t necessarily like it more, but it did bump me up to the top of the alphabet (B name) so I am at the very top of the teacher list at school, which is fun. 
People often butchered my old last name, too.
For now, I only like it the same. I was looking at my mom’s email address (my parents have been married for 31 years) and how it’s in order with my brothers…and was kind of sad! I also noticed (can you tell I was emailing yesterday?) that a couple friends dropped the middle name all together for the maiden name to be a middle name and wondered if I should have done the same.
It’s still new and I haven’t changed my name everywhere so I’m still half Kari K—– and half Kari B—–. A lot of people compliment me on how cute my new name sounds and I do like it a lot, but I think it’s a change I’m still getting used to.
Hehe all this alphabet talk is making me sad! I went from an A to a Z and the majority of my name changing hangups are from condemning my future kids to the back of the line, haha.
Jasmine, like you I really felt I should seriously consider not changing and I did, but ultimately I like my new (short!!) last name better. My maiden name was incredibly generic and I don’t even share it with hardly any relatives, so I never had a real “family” connection to it.
Cookiechristina - I have the opposite problem as you! I’m white but my new last name is obviously Chinese so I have the reverse assumption of ethnicity issue. Haha oh well!
I kept my maiden name as a 2nd middle name though, so I just write First Maiden Last a lot of places and don’t use my first middle name all that often. So hopefully that helps with the confusion some but I don’t have to lose my original maiden name - which was, haha, my mom’s maiden name!
Oddly enough, I am in the midst of wrestling the name-change monster! Prepare for a post on the WB board, since I am a moron and figuring things out for myself!
I love love love my maiden name. It makes me who I am- they are both two colors and go perfectly together. I always wanted to change my name to my husband’s because I like the significance of it, but now that I’m actually doing it (and seeing how much works goes into it!), I’m feeling very nostalgic for what my maiden name means to me. My new name doesn’t go as well (two syllables to each name, when my maiden was just one), and to top it off, there is a girl who went to Mr. K’s school that has the exact name as my married name. She appears to be haunting me, as my mom ran into this stranger with my name (technically, I took HER name).
I dunno, I’m just sad about the change, like I’m completely letting go of what I was. Yanno?
As a child, I yarned to have a different last name because EVERYONE mispronounced it. When asked, I just spell it out for them. Why bother even saying it? Now, I have grown to love it for the uniqueness (not too many names start with a “U”) and because of my heritage (Nigerian). But come 2009, I will have a French last name and will also move up the alphabet as well (”D”). I’m still excited but a little nostalgic.
I love my last name. It’s always had a nice ring to it and seemed to really flow. Plus it “fit me”. My FI last name is one that I really don’t like. Selfish, maybe, but it’s just a really strange name (not only that, but it’s a word in both English and German) and it seems as if it would give a lot of children fuel to namecall.
*sigh*
Wow, looks like I am in the minority — I like my current name so much more so my fiance and I are constantly battling about changing it (I don’t want to, he wants me to). My last name is relatively short, VERY easy to spell/pronounce, towards the beginning of the alphabet, and has a strangely nice syllabic pattern with my first name. My fiance’s last name is long, always mispronounced in a somewhat derogatory fashion, hard for people to spell, towards the end of the alphabet, and overpowers my first name. I don’t want to change!!
This decision has been easy for me because I really like my fiance’s last name, and I like how it sounds with my first name. It helps that our ethnic backgrounds are similar — we’re both thoroughly Irish by descent, but I ended up with a generic-sounding last name, while his is very definitely Irish. So in a way I feel like my future first/last combination will reflect my personal makeup better than my current one!
I might feel very differently if his last name reflected some nationality other than my own; I can’t decide whether I’d think it was fun or just odd to have a last name that sounded French, Hispanic, Italian, Japanese, or anything other than what I am!
i was really resistant at first, but it was important to mr. lime, and i wanted to eventually do it if/when we ever have kids. i do like his last name a lot better on its own as my maiden name can also be a bad word. i was subjected to a lot of teasing when younger, but once i grew up a bit and owned it, i really loved it. it really does flow so well with my first name. did i already say that?
anyway, the number of letters stayed the same (both are short), his is cuter sounding and harder to misspell, and overall i do like it. more than my maiden name? i’m not sure about that. yet.
it’s weird, but the boy and i have been together for 6 years and i’ve always been adamant about keep my last name. my business is built around my maiden name, so i knew professionally i’d have to keep it, so it just seemed less complicated to maintain it in all aspects of my life. plus, both of our names are a little odd, about the same length and at the end of the alphabet, so there’s no winning there. plus they’d be atrocious as a hyphenated pair. at least i’d spent 25 years getting used to my current name combination. but, now, thinking about kids, i’ll really miss not sharing a last name with them. and his last name is growing on me a little bit (i used to really dislike it combined with my first name). so, we’ll see….there’s still 7 months to go.
I was ready to take my husband’s last name, because I was tired of being a color and answering the question, “with an ‘e’ or without?” Now I just say my last name, no spelling questions or anything!!
The name changing process wasn’t too bad (other than the extra long wait at the SS office) and I still have to change my debit card/accounts. But the license and SS card have are done!!
i had always planned on changing my last name since i have no emotional attachment to my maiden name (biological dad’s name, but no biological dad in the picture). nevertheless, i’ve found myself having a bit of a hard time letting go of my maiden name! i guess it’s only b/c that’s been “me” for the last 24 years. *shrug*
i am so excited to share my husband’s name & have ONE name on our mailbox, but his name is spelled differently than it is pronounced, leaving me with a lifetime of correcting people (or not bothering!)
but, like joanne and others have said, my hubs pointed out that i will move up *one whole letter* in the alphabet (from “W” to “V”)!
my FI really doesnt care, im kind of lazy, a lot of people dont expect me to change my name, he doesnt want to change his either, we dont want to hyphen. a lot of friends call me by my very short last name & wont stop even if i changed my name!
one solution we discussed, (if a change is to occur) is for me to change to “first mylast hislast” & him to change to “first mylast hislast”, and our future kids last names to be hislast. Apparently changing middle names is hard however. Has anyone not (legally/ paperwork) changed their name but just adapt their names? What if we wanted to be known as the “mylast hislast family”? but for official things use our “real” names? does that even make sense?
I have a name that is CONSTANTLY mispronounced, so I am very happy to take my fiance’s four letter last name. I like that our children will never have to deal with constantly correcting teachers who misprounce their last name.
My maiden name is very unique yet easily pronounced . . . my soon to be married name is much more common but also easy to pronounce. As much as I love my maiden name I will be changing to my FI’s last name because I like the tradition of doing so.
I’m in an awkward position at work though, I just started a new job this month and everyone is getting to know me with my maiden name. But since I have a lot of public contact and outside clients I have been telling them not to get too used to my current name because I will be changing it in 3 months.
I can’t wait ! I’ve been hating my last name for as long as I can remember. It reminds me of my father who left me and my mom when I was little baby. It get’s misspelled and mispronounced ALL THE TIME, it’s long - 9 letters, mostly consonants and people always ask me if I am Russian, which I am not, so it is extremely annoying, esp when they start convincing me that I am Russian or at least have to speak Russian ( neither is true). I can’t wait to have new anglo-saxon easy to pronounce, easy to spell new name. yay !
cookiechristina: I’m totally with you on that one. My FI is a Jones…*sigh* one of the hundreds of thousands….I love my last name and am proud to carry the family name. It is also very hispanic and I love that. But going from my last name to a Jones (even though my FI is ALSO hispanic) loses all the ethnicity that I love and want our children to have. So I’ve told him we’re hyphenating…I can’t stand to part with my name.
Oh I wish I could get him to hyphen too! What’s your secret?
Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA
Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney
Engagement Date: March 24, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 20, 2007
Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
I have always had a love-hate relationship with my last name. It is always mispronounced and mispelled, it such a unique last name, that I will be sad to see it go. Unfortunately, my fiance has the same problem with his last name. I keep telling myself that it is 3 letters shorter so that is 3 less letters that I have to spell. My new name won’t be as good, but I always knew that I would change my name when I got married.
I do wish that I was marrying someone with the last name of Smith or Jones, but in some way and glad that I am going from one unique name to another no matter the hassles that it causes.