Shoes Humor
December 19th, 2007 @ 1:32 pm by Ms. Dahlia
Note: I’ve got a slightly sarcastic (and definitely quirky) sense of humor. This post is not intended to offend at all.
I’m amazed at the amount of things that I’m supposed to care about for the wedding. Food, makes sense to care about it. Entertainment and locale as well. Even the invitations to some extent.
The latest issue to surface: bridesmaid shoes. I just don’t care about it. They’re not my feet, they’re not my shoes, and they’ll only appear in a small number of pictures. So I sent an email to my (3) bridesmaids. My maid of honor thought it was hilarious, and I thought it was pretty funny too, so I thought I’d share it with all of you.
“I’ve now gotten questions from two of you regarding what shoes to wear for the wedding in May, and I thought it would be a good idea to make sure that everyone is on the same page. There’s also some things towards the bottom that you should know; I know that I’ve mentioned some of it to some of you, but I don’t remember who knows what.
So shoes.
Given that the dress is burgundy, hot fuschia shoes, like these,
(from here.)
are probably not a good idea. Holographic Doc Martens are also probably not a good idea. And I’m not really feeling the Chuck Taylors.
(image found here.)
Additionally, I hate to be a bitch, but Ugg boots are just not really appropriate when there isn’t snow on the ground.
(image found here.)
If we were getting married outside in February, fine. As the wedding is in May, that pretty much rules them out.
That said, I’m thinking along the lines of something that meets this criteria:
1- some sort of dressier sandal/shoe. I don’t care about color at all- black, silver, striped, leopard print- whatever color floats your boat, so long as it isn’t hot pink patent leather. Heels or flats- your choice.
2- you should like them.
3- you should be able to wear them again for something else.”
The email went on from there, but I’ve got a question for you. No, it’s not what shoes recommendations you are giving to your attendants. It’s better than that.
How are you keeping wedding planning humorous?
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14 Responses to “Shoes Humor”
I title every wedding related email something like “more wedding related crap” or “here comes bridezilla!”. I try not too give them commands. I just like them to be in the loop.
I have not designated either of my two bridesmaids as “maid of honor.” This caused a small problem when my officiant asked which one would stand next to me during the ceremony. Since she asked me this in a week when I was extremely sick of making a million small decisions that I mostly don’t care about, I emailed my bridesmaids and suggested that, if they had no preference, we could put it to a vote at the upcoming bridal shower in lieu of party games. Whereupon one of bridesmaids promised to begin practicing her swimsuit, talent and interview. No need to bother with evening gown, since they will be wearing the same thing :-).
I sent a similar email to my bridesmaids about shoes AND hair. We must be kindred spirits!
I have to agree with you, it seems like theres so much silly stuff you’re supposed to care about! I cant believe the discussions I hear about cake serving pieces and toasting flutes. I hope the caterer brings those because i have no intention of cake-serving shopping! I love your email!
Heehee! I sent my BMs something similar regarding their shoe choices.
One funny thing I did was use the David’s Bridal “Picture Your Wedding Party” software (I think that’s what it’s called) to create a faux wedding look. I put each of the BMs in a truly hideous tacky dress and myself in a really, really ugly poofy, pickup dress and the guys in weird tuxes. I made sure nothing matched, and then I sent it to them asking if they liked my vision. 
Fortunately they all realized I was kidding.
I think a lot of what the wedding industry does is try to make brides care about things that really won’t impact their day. When I was picking out linen rentals, my mom reminisced that she never even thought about matching linens with her “color scheme” back when she got married in 1975. I think it is really nice to pay attention to detail and to plan things carefully, but really, there is no reason to feel pressured to micromanage when you’ve hired professionals who are perfectly competent to know their jobs.
I love this post! I get a lot of weird looks when I say that I’m letting my BMs pick out their own dresses. As in, “Let’s go to Macy’s/Dillards/Belks and everyone find a cute, church appropriate black dress.” My (admittedly overly OCD) friends think that I’m nuts.
I hate to be a bitch, but i don’t think UGG boots are ever appropriate. hideous.
All of my wedding-related e-mails to my MOH also contain crazy details about my non-wedding-related life, like the story about how I broke the self-service machine at the post office, etc. We’re having a classy country-western wedding, but I love sending FH pictures of giant inflatable cacti asking if I can put them by the stage.
Man, I tried keeping it relaxed and light and humorous. I really did. But the bridesmaids took everything so seriously! One sent emails full of links to hairstyles, asking me to pick one for her. Don’t care!
Yeah, I just told my maid of honor to do what she liked with her hair, makeup, jewelry, shoes etc. Same thing with a lot of other small details. Boy, was it fun just saying “do whatever”!
I am such a geek, but I made a blog for my bridesmaids. I wanted them to vote on their dresses and I figured that would be the easiest way. Now I am going to use it for all the updates… but I hadn’t even thought about shoes. I am totally on your team with this. In all the weddings that I have been to/poured over the photographs, I have never noticed the bridesmaids shoes. Although, if they were wearing Uggs or Crocs, I would have noticed!
haha. i love it! after all is said and done, the last thing i’m really going to worry about are the shoes my bms will wear. in the weddings that i’ve been in, neither bride has required a specific shoe and it’s made shopping so much easier. i actually just borrowed shoes for the first one but bought shoes for the second one that i love and try to wear with everything. i definitely got more than my $45 worth since the wedding!
and i agree with sally…totally inappropriate unless you’re a sherpa. for real. 
Ha! I guess I’m the opposite of you because the only thing I cared about enough to force them to wear was the shoes.
Funny thing is, one of the only things I remember about a wedding we went to a couple of years ago was that the bridesmaids were all wearing different shoes, and some of them were really ugly. They had these beautiful knee length red dresses, and some of the girls were wearing scuffed up “business casual” looking shoes. It’s probably because the ceremony was long and boring so I had the time to really notice this… but for some reason it really annoyed me.
Anyway, then I remembered how much I actually hate shopping for shoes myself (believe it or not) and decided that I would just make it easier on everyone and buy the shoes for them. I found a perfectly cute and comfortable pair for all the bridesmaids for about $15 a pair from Target online.
In the end, I think they appreciated it and didn’t think that I was being a bridezilla. It saved them the hassle of trying to find a pair of shoes to wear, and most of my girls don’t have a lot of time or discretionary income for such things.
Ms. Dahlia, Detroit/Cleveland
Age and Occupation: 24, PhD Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, IT System Administrator
Engagement Date: December 31, 2006
Wedding Date: May 2008
Blogging Since: September 19, 2007
Venue: United Methodist Cathedral & historic downtown hotel in Cleveland
About Me: I enjoy cooking, dancing and swimming. I am a geek and apply game theory to my everyday life. Winter is my favorite time of year, especially when spent curled up with good coffee and a book by Madeleine L'Engle.
I want to send the same email to my bridesmaids! I requested ’silver shoes’ and I’ve gotten 5000 questions about ‘what colour of silver’ and ‘how high of heel’ and ‘what style of shoe’ and on and on!
I don’t care! Wear a shoe you like!