Wedding Blog
Now that Mr. Jasmine and I booked our minimoon, we have to think about booking our wedding night accommodations. Initially, we were just going to stay at the InterContinental Los Angeles, where our wedding is being held. They’re providing us with a complimentary suite for the night.
But traditionally, Indian/Pakistani weddings end with what’s called a “rukhsati“. When the reception is almost over and the newlywed couple is ready to depart, the bride’s parents and siblings give their heartfelt blessings to the bride and wish her the utmost happiness in her new marriage. They also ask that she treat her husband’s family with love and care and that they do the same for her– essentially, the bride is leaving her family and joining her husband’s family (although nowdays it’s more symbolic than anything else). It’s a very emotional moment and makes for a very dramatic goodbye scene– I know I’m going to be all tears! Mr. Jasmine and I decided that, after the rukhsati, it would be kind of anticlimactic to march upstairs to our room in the same hotel. So we’re going to find alternate wedding night accommodations. Besides, I think Mr. Jasmine really wants an excuse to drive a fab getaway car 
But here’s my question: is it worth it to splurge on a fabulous wedding night hotel? I’ve heard mixed things. Some people claim that, of course, you should go all out on a luxurious wedding night hotel. After all, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience and you want to do it right. Others say that you and your honey will probably be too exhausted to really enjoy and appreciate the amenities of such an expensive room and thus, it’s a waste of money.
I’m on the mindset that life is too short (and I need a plush hotel room!), but I’m curious what you think. Is it worth it to splurge?
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Two things to think about…
1-the farther away from the iwedding site your hotel room is…the harder it is for anyone to come and decorate your room…take that info at will.
2-you (hopefully) only get married once…I say do it! In the end, it most likely won’t be a storybook as you want it to be…as you will be tired and the next day you are just going to have to pick up all your stuff anyway…but for that short moment of bliss when you first walk in and realize that the party isn’t over…I say go for it
I agree with Mrs. Corn - I think you should go all out but it is more convenient to stay in the same hotel as the reception….I think the goodbye will be just as sentimental…
Go for it! My husband booked us a wedding-night room at the Ritz Carlton (it was a surprise to me), and we LOVED it! We stayed an hour away from where the wedding/reception was (we were closer to the airport that way, also), and we didn’t have the room decorated, but I don’t think that’s necessary at all, either. BUT … I don’t think that it would be less “dramatic” if you stayed in the same hotel.
honestly? i don’t think so. i think you should stick with the hotel suite at the site of your wedding. granted, i don’t know you at all and i’m not sure your energy levels are like - but i know on my wedding night, i was exhausted and tired and all i wanted to do was sleep. i barely noticed how nice our suite was because all i could think of after all the partying was sleep.
but that was me. i really can’t say for you. i know my friends who have booked super nice places have all commented that the room was lovely but they all also had to catch early flights the following day and couldn’t really appreciate the room.
so i say - if you have the time to enjoy your time in the room, do it. if you have a tight schedule and won’t really get to spend much time there, don’t and save it for like an anniversary or something.
We’re probably going to book some sort of suite for 2 nights. (the night before and the night of the wedding). But we’re not having our reception at a hotel. I thought Inter’s were supposed to be really nice hotels. I would love the convinience of only having to ride an elevator to my honeymoon suite. But maybe that’s just me. Good Luck!
I should probably clarify: the InterContinental is *gorgeous*. It’s much nicer than any hotel I’ve ever stayed at and it would be a lot more convenient to stay there than go somewhere else. I think we just want to “get away” after the wedding to a quiet spot, especially since the majority of our tons of out-of-town guests will be staying there as well. Plus, Mr. Jasmine is really excited about the excuse to rent a fancy getaway car
Miss Jasmine, as much as the car is exciting and splurging on a different, beautiful hotel room is fun, it was not worth it for us. Our reception went so late and we had to leave for our honeymoon so early the next morning that we barely noticed the room that night. Also, there was a big goodbye and send off, but from the ballroom itself, so our exit from the room was still grand. However, I will say that staying near our friends had its drawbacks in the manner in which they chose to decorate our car and room
chronic pragmatist here. the intercontinental is already an awesome hotel, and it is free! (er, included in your package). as long as you are not on the same floor as a lot of your guests, i think you can still have privacy and feel pretty well secluded.
honestly, at the end of the night, we were so tired (and mr. lime a little too tipsy to drive) that the last thing i wanted to do was drive somewhere, but we had to since our venue had no lodgings of any kind and we had not rented a car/driver/limo.
if you have the extra funds for the fancy night of hotel and getaway car, and it’s really important to you, i’d say go for it. otherwise, imagine what else that might be a higher priority to you that you could put those funds toward! if you’re thinking beverly hills hotel and bentley, that cash can definitely stretch further!
Since we’re leaving early the next morning for our honeymoon, we’re not splurging, though we are staying at a nice Marriott near the airport. I figure we would just be too exhausted to enjoy a swanky room, and we’ve booked the honeymoon suite when we get to our honeymoon, so we’ll have the splurge aspect, just not for our wedding night.
I do remember one of the Bees saying that one of the best things she did was stay at a different hotel from all of her guests, so that might be good advice to take also. I also understand the allure of a fancy getaway car… Now I’m just as baffled as you are!
Well, this is going to sound stupid, but why not doing the getaway, drive the fancy car, and instead of going to a different hotel, just go for an intimate post-wedding drink with your new husband, before coming back to the hotel later on…
It does sound silly, but you wouldn’t splurge and still get the getaway…
anyway, should probably get back to work instead of writing stupid things
When else will you have an excuse to do such fabulous things!
In my experience, it’s harder to splurge on yourself once you’re settled with a mortgage, kids, college payments, and all the other things that go along with boring adult life. Do it now while you have the opportunity to (for once) be impractical!
I would stay at the intercontinental. and maybe you can surprise your honey with a fancy rental car for the minimoon? i think you’ll be exhausted and not want to have to deal with moving your stuff (and if you’re like me and other indian brides- having to figure out what to do with your jewellry). so my vote is stay at the intercontinental, order brunch in your room and get a nicer car for the mini moon… you won’t really be able to appreciate the pre-mini-moon room and it’ll be sweet to give your friends the satisfaction of decorating your room
I like skch’s idea! If you already have a room at the Intercontinental, I say just stick with that. I’ve stayed at Intercontinental Hotel’s (the best so far in Cannes, France) and their hotels are always gorgeous so I think that in itself is worth it! I travel a lot (probably too much) so I’m a bit biased because I spend probably 2 weeks out of a month in a hotel, so I really don’t get too excited over hotel rooms anymore. I say just make sure the bed is comfy So you guys can get a good night’s sleep, of course! 
Why not do the splurge on your one-year anniversary? Or have the fancy car take you to the airport for the honeymoon?
Honestly, at the end of the day we were so pooped that getting to sleep was the first thing (well, second) we thought of.
Considering check-out for most properties is b/n 11am-1pm at the latest, it’s not like you’ll have oodles of time to enjoy the fancy digs.
I would probably splurge- but then again I am a pretty impulsive spender. But you’re already getting a complimentary suite! And InterContinental hotels are all really nice, I think. I second christigpa’s ideas- you could splurge for your one year and that way, have more time to enjoy all the benefits of a posh hotel room.
The Intercontinental is amazing to begin with… and you’ll only be steps away from escaping by yourselves!
We stayed at our hotel as well… only a floor below the reception! And honestly… when we got to our room at midnight, we ate a few more chocolate strawberries with champagne, and got out of the wedding clothes, got busy and got to bed around 2am. We sat in the suite area of our room once… and we were gone by 11am (slept til 9) the next day! Thank goodness it was free, because it wouldn’t have been worth the $500 we would have had to pay.
I totally think you should do what skch suggested. Rent the nice car and go for a sweet romantic spin around the city. You could even stop for ice cream somewhere or something! It gives you a great opportunity to decompress before you hop in the sack! Then just come back to your hotel suite. This way you get to do your special getaway, but also save money. I don’t think the wedding night merits paying for an expensive room when you already have a very nice one for free. Granted, you want it nice and special, but it doesn’t have to be the most opulent place you’ve ever stayed.
Ok, so my pratical Yankee heart says, use the free room since the InterC is plenty plush. Remember that you will be getting to the room late and probably leaving by 11 when checkout is or for a breakfast with the wedding party. Not much time to use the jaccuzzi tub or a need for a living room and a bedroom.
It just seems silly get a big suite when you wont be spending any time there anyway.
I agree with skch about doing your getaway and having a drink or maybe taking a walk together to unwind from the party. Maybe you could come back in a side door or something so that the guests don’t chance upon you if they are still lingering.
I like skch’s idea as well! She thought it was dumb, but it sounds perfect to me!
I actually am going to go against the flow here and say go for it - IF you can arrange a late check-out (like 3pm) so you can enjoy it in the morning. I do agree that you probably won’t appreciate it that night.
And if you feel guilty about the empty free suite, why not offer it to one of the parents?
Thank you everyone for your input so far!
skch: That is a fabulous idea– it’s not stupid at all! That’s definitely something I’ll bring up with Mr. Jasmine.
cs: If we do splurge, we’re going to offer the free suite to my parents
I’m definitely not the voice of reason, but I would definitely splurge. But I am one of those of the mind-set, wedding is once in a lifetime so spend! There’s just something so nice about 1 night of splurging for your wedding night! We went to the Four Seasons in NY for our engagement night. It was so worth it.
Everyone I talk to (and after having my wedding and agreeing) would tell you to go somewhere comfortable, with a great jacuzzi tub. I would do whatever is most convenient because you’re going to be TIRED.
You’re not going to be in the room much, either. I am not sure what time your wedding is over, but we grabbed a bite to eat, went to the hotel, woke up as late as we could before showering and getting ready and had to be at my parents at noon. It all worked out well, though! So you might also consider traveling to and from where ever it is you’ll be the night-of and the following day.
FINALLY, skch has a good idea! Hop in the get away vehicle, go to grab a bite at a drive-thru or grab a drink/coffee/etc. (seriously, after our wedding we stopped at our version of in-an-out and people were saying, “why would someone take a limo to Frisko Freeze?” and our driver said, “because they can!”).
You’ll have fun no matter what! Best wishes!
i agree with some of the people here that you should stick with the complimentary suite the intercontinental is giving you. it’s already so nice and you can negotiate for a suite upgrade (that’s what we did). but we too were much too tired to even enjoy it. we just went straight to bed! like others have also said, it will be much harder to have the room decorated if it’s off site.
Glad some of you enjoyed my idea! I just thought my boring day at work was getting advantage of me! Mrs. Jasmine, I’m sure your night will be amazing anyhow, just not sure it’s worth the splurge (you can still book a fancy room for an anniversary later on!)
I have to pipe in here (might be too late, though).
I just don’t know if it’s worth paying for anything extra.
Our hotel was about 30-45 mn away from our reception site. We ended up getting there around 1:30/2 am. Basically, we crashed into bed and had to get up fairly early to go to the family brunch.
We had a nice room, nothing too shabby, but it was perfect for us since we didn’t spend a lot of time in there.
I’d just think about when you’d be getting there and when you need to leave in the morning to figure out if it’s worth it or not.
Good luck!
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Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA
Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney
Engagement Date: March 24, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 20, 2007
Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
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