Wedding Blog
After 2 years and 10 months of marriage, I finally changed my last name last week!
I put it off because of sheer laziness, but figured the government offices wouldn’t be as busy the week between Christmas and New Year’s, so I finally bit the bullet and did it.
Mr. Bee didn’t want me to change my name, but I’d always planned on doing it so everyone in our family would have the same name. After we got married, I did find myself a little reluctant to change my very Korean last name to an American one. But once I made the decision to continue using my maiden name both personally and professionally - my name would only be different on paper - I no longer felt a sense of loss. It took me three days, but I’m glad that I finally did it!
Here are the details on how to change your name (it’s going to be a similar process wherever you live):
1) Marriage Certificate - You can request copies via mail, but I went down to the City Clerk’s office and picked up 3 copies of my marriage certificate in person. I ended up only needing one (for my passport) because the DMV and the social security office returned my certificate after looking at it. It’s $15 for the first certificate, and $10 for each additional certificate - they only accept money orders or cashiers checks as payment. I was in and out of there within 20 minutes with certificates in hand.
2) Driver’s License - With this completed form and my marriage certificate, I headed to the DMV where it took me 3 long hours to take a picture and get my new driver’s license. One thing I completely forgot to do was practice signing my new name for my license! The cost - $10.
3) Social Security Office - You can mail in this completed form, your marriage certificate and your passport or driver’s license (which will be returned to you) to get a new social security card. I knew the wait wouldn’t be that long in our local office, so I went in person and was in and out of there within 20 minutes. The card should arrive within the next week or two.
4) Passport - Because I renewed my passport less than a year ago, I can get a new passport without any additional fees. Here are more details on that here, and the regular process to get a new passport via mail. It costs $67 for a new passport and an additional $60 for an expedited fee.
My friend Joyce recently renewed her passport and gave me a great tip - if you fill out the online application, print it and mail it, the process goes a lot faster because the web version generates a bar code. Her passport arrived in 2 weeks! But the busiest months for passports are January/February… which is ok since I won’t be travelling internationally any time soon. 
Now I just need to change my name on my health insurance, bank accounts, my million and one credit cards and anything else I’m forgetting.
How long did you wait until you changed your name? Did you find the process easy or difficult?
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Thank you for the list. I also haven’t changed my name out of sheer laziness (but plan to if and when we have kids) and you just made it a notch easier!
Congrats! I know it’s a pain, but I love having my husband’s last name (mostly because people always pronounced my maiden name wrong). I couldn’t give it up completely, so legally I have 4 names. Gov. offices hate it and always try to make me choose.
I was really sad about losing my last name, but it was much more important to my FI that I take his last name than it was to me to keep mine. He was so patient and told me I could take my time mourning the loss of my last name. After a few months of pouting about my name change (still 8 months away), I was visiting a friend in Chicago and we were at an Italian restaurant with paper over the tablecloth. To get me excited, she decided we were going to design my new signature, as his name is difficult in cursive (begins with a P). By the end of the new night I had a signature that I LOVE and it was the beginning of embracing my soon to be last name. Then for xmas, to show my new found enthusiasm, I ordered mailing labels for the soon to be Mrs. P. He loved the gift
I wasn’t able to embrace the new name without acknowledging the loss of my maiden name - and so that is my advice with anyone struggling with the change.
I changed all my names within a week of getting married. Well, everything but my passport. Thanks for the tips on doing that … something I need to do.
When I was naturalized as a citizen, I made my first name my middle name and it was a hassle getting my DL, social security card, and gazillion credit cards updated (was in college then). Since then, I have closed many credit accounts but there’s still a few that would need to be updated when I change to my marital last name. I can’t wait! Lol. Not…
i did all the major stuff pretty quickly, but i still have a mission accounts, memberships, rewards programs, etc. that don’t match. there is so much stuff you don’t think about - i was at costco yesterday, and the guy gave me a hard time at first b/c my membership card, credit card, and DL all had variations of my new and old names.
anyway, a few other tips:
1. when you turn in your marriage certificate, some states allow you to send in a check to request copies. as soon as it’s processed & filed, they will mail you the copies you request. no need to wait at the bureau for copies!
2. in california and i think most states, you HAVE to do social security first. it usually takes 48 hours for your new name to be distributed, then you can go to the DMV with a copy of your SS receipt. or the best thing to do is wait the 1-2 weeks until your new SS card arrives and take that to the DMV.
3. i cut down my waiting time at the DMV by making an appointment at a location that has a reputation for being less busy. i also went first thing in the morning. i waited maybe 5 mins. to be called to the window, then the paperwork and new photo took less than 20 minutes total.
11 Years! I waited 11 years before changing my name! My husband wanted me to hyphenate, and I just procrastinated… I had already been recieving several credit cards wtih my married name- and it wasn’t even a legal name of mine!
No excuse… just 11 years…. and a long story!
great tips mrs. lime!
for manhattanites: i got my drivers license before my social and didn’t have a problem doing so, and unfortunately the manhattan dmv doesn’t take appointments. 
i could have done everything by mail (except the dl) but just wanted to get everything done with one fell swoop while I had some time over the holidays. overall a pretty easy process - hope it is for you too!
Great entry Bee! I need to do this too. I think for girls like me that are mourning the changing of their last name, time kinda helps to let it go. I’m almost over changing my last name. =P
After 6.5 months, I finally finished everything except passport, car registration and a few memberships, etc. I really lost enthusiasm for the process after the first few things.
1) Not all credit cards will let you have 2 middle initials (or a multi-letter “middle name”) — I kept my maiden name professionaly, and made it a 2nd middle name, which means legally, my name is First Middle Middle2 Last, resulting in 2 MI’s…which doesn’t work on all credit cards, which means things are not consistent, and I got a card back in the mail that newly named me “Firstm M2 Last” — and it’s now on my dang credit report like that! (It took 3 tries to get the card fixed, and now I’ve got to go petition Experian to change my record too.)
2) Social Security here took 4 hours when you include the time it took me and a friend to find parking and the actual room SS is in. Here’s my tip: look around and see if there’s an option to leave your forms. In this state, if you have been married 2 years or less, your certificate is actually valid as both your certificate AND as your documents of identification (I have no idea why; it’s sorta lame). So, you can leave your completed SS form and your certificate and you DON’T have to leave your license/passport, and you get it all back in 2 weeks. The lady at the desk said that the one catch is that if you have any slight error (address doesn’t match, etc.) they’ll return it, and won’t tell you why, and you just have to come back and stand in line. Anyway, if your state is like mine, and has a 4-hour wait ALL THE TIME, you may want to see if the drop-off is an option. (They won’t tell you online or on the phone, weirdly enough.)
It took me seven months. I contribute it to laziness as well…who wants to hang out in a SS office all day? I traded numbers with a girl in exchange for a ride to the other end of town, so instead of five hours I only waited two.
I’m not looking forward to changing my name since legally I’m not getting married since it’s a same-sex wedding. So I have to go through the courts and EVERYTHING. I’m already up to my eyeballs in paper work with trying to sort our stuff out to make sure legally eveything is as close to a marriage as possible. And the cost of a lawyer is really scary.
Ugh!
I changed the big three (minus the passport) pretty much within a month of the wedding–yay me. And, shortly after that (once I had the ss card in tow and new driver’s license) I changed my name with my school where I work, which was super helpful because they changed all my insurance information FOR me!
As of now, six months later…I’m still a single on my bank accounts, my retirement fund, our utilities bill, and a few other random things. So, I still get to be Kari K—— when I sign checks and card slips. 
With name changing also don’t forget about frequent flier/hotel reward accounts. This was the most surprising headache for me (I had anticipated waiting forever with the dmv & SS) but my delta skymiles and starwood accounts still have my maiden name because they demand copies of my marriage certificate to change it (and well I’m too lazy to oblige).
before getting engaged, i was pretty dead-set about changing my last name. i have a very american first name and korean last name. but lately i’ve been thinking about it.. big decision to make!
I know I’m late on this, but wanted to ask a general question about changing a name on the passport - do they send back your original of the marriage certificate? I’m trying to do the whole thing with only one original, and I’ve already done DMV and SS successfully, so I’m willing to mail it in to the passport office…will they send it back? Thanks!
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Phew-Here I am not even 2 months out & worried about taking too long! Thanks for the list-very helpful. I am a teacher & would like to start using my married name, but I know it’s gonna take my colleagues and students a while to adjust.
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Mrs. Bee, New York
Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet
Engagement Date: May 7, 2004
Wedding Date: March 5, 2005
Venue: Westside Loft, New York
About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
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