Wedding Blog
Ahoy from Minnesota!
Mr. Penguin and I have spent an extended 10 day vacation here in the blistering cold midwest. Snow flurries are extremely awesome when you’ve got nothing else to do but sip Caribou Coffee and play your brand spankin’ new Wii that you got for Christmas! Very relaxing.
Mr. Penguin’s sister’s week wasn’t quite as relaxing. Although very intense, she spent a fun week being a bridesmaid in her good friend’s wedding here in MN on New Year’s Eve. The Bride decided to have an all out wedding week extravaganza, packing in a full schedule of a bachelorette party, a sleigh ride, wedding party dinner, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and of course, the wedding, all in one week. It got me to thinking about the pros and cons of a pre-wedding week of events.
PROS:
- Travel expenses for guests are cut significantly. They’re able to attend your events (bachelorette party, shower, wedding, etc) all under one plane ticket, and weekday stays at many hotels are typically cheaper.
- Bachelor/Bachelorette party can be held in one city. That means the bros and the hos can meet up near the end of the night and party the night away together. Great for couples that aren’t too keen on the whole idea of the bachelor/bachelorette party to begin with.
- The parties (shower, bachelorette) can be low key. Sometimes having to plan a weekend packed with fun for all involved gets a little overwhelming. Limiting your bachelorette party to the night before the rehearsal ensures that the planning won’t have to be incredibly elaborate.
- To me, I always felt like a bachelorette party held really close to the actual wedding date felt a lot more exciting for the bride, sort of like her last big hurrah before walking down the aisle. Having your bachelorette party weeks or even months before the wedding doesn’t have the same kind of “symbolic” meaning.
CONS:
- Guests suffer from “wedding fatigue”… too much wedding madness all at once sometimes tires out even the hardiest of partiers.
- If your wedding is on a Saturday, guests might have to take a couple days (or more!) off of work (assuming you have your bachelorette party 2 days before the wedding, leaving a day for you to rest in the morning and hold your rehearsal in the evening.)
- Having lots of parties on your plate during your wedding week might lead to extra stress on the bride and hosts of the extra parties.
- Tiredness in general. Lots of parties in one week while tying up loose ends for the wedding means less sleep.
I was planning on having a Bachelorette Party in Scottsdale, AZ some two months before the wedding, but holding the party a few days before the wedding might save my party/friends some travel expenses. As a guest, which would you like better? Separate Bachelorette/Wedding trips or an all-in-one bridal blowout? As a bride, which would you prefer?
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It makes sense either way, I think you just have to look at what is going to be best for you. I could understand how the bride who was married yesterday may have felt it was better to do everything this week, when some people are already off for the holidays.
I LOVE your idea of doing your party in Scottsdale tho a month or so before. It will give you some great bonding time with the girls and maybe give you a break from all of the wedding madness! Scottsdale is my FAVORITE vacation spot!!
I think I prefer spreading things out to some degree — i.e. tacking on the bachelor/bacnelorette parties OR the shower, but not both. I went to one wedding week extravaganza, and by the time we got to the actual event everyone was so tired. Even the bride herself looks back on it saying the rehearsal dinner felt more like the main celebration because by the time we got to the reception, it was just too much.
I’m getting married in Minnesota in June. Can you post some details about her venues, etc.?
We’re having a Sunday wedding with the bachelor/bachelorette parties on the Friday before. I’d rather keep my events low-key, so this ideal for me.
if you do have the bachelorette party the week of just make sure to space it far enough from your wedding that you have a bit of recovery time. its a busy week and if you have more to drink than you planned or party all night you get tired really fast!
I had my bachelorette party the weekend before I got married and it was a great choice for me. It was close enough to the wedding to give me the extra excitement and was a great way to help me relax and enjoy the time with my friends instead of getting crazy about last minute projects.
We went to a wedding week for 4th of July (wedding on 7.7.07) this year and I have to say we were all EXHAUSTED. Being in the wedding party, we spent 4th of July evening with the family. The actual reception the night before the wedding, then wedding, followed by another meal. It was so much. I can’t even imagine tacking ona shower/party beforehand.
Also, another friend who tried to do a bachelorette party a couple of days before her wedding ended up having to cancel the all-night out plans. She just had too much to do, and with OOT family and friends had to entertain. Just a thought.
Welcome to MN! 
I’m planning on having my bachelorette party the thursday before my saturday wedding. The reason for this is because 3 of my 5 bridesmaids and two of my personal attendants are either from out of state or even country! It definitely wouldn’t be the same without them there and some of them would have a difficult time getting plane tickets two times, and I really want them all to be there. I know someo f them already are planning on taking a few days or even a week to come for it so they can see their families as well while they’re nearby.
gretchen, where in mn are you getting married? I could try to give you a few details about some venues I’ve been to.
oooh, caribou coffee! that’s one of the few things i miss from living in michigan and i try to stop there for a nice cup of white hot chocolate when i fly back to visit the bf.
as far as the wedding week, it depends. honestly, i doubt i’d show up for the entire week of festivities even if i already had the time off. i’d probably just show for the latter ones and spend the other part doing what i wanted to do. it sounds selfish but honestly, i wouldn’t really want my holiday vacation time monopolized by a wedding if i weren’t in the wedding party. it does sound exhausting though to have something planned every night.
Yes we are having a lot of celebrations that week. We are having a pretty large wedding in Vegas. So Thursday night is the bachelor/bachelorette parties, Friday is the Rehearsal Dinner and Saturday is the Reception. I know it will be tiring but also think it would be so much fun!
We had to have our bachelor/ette parties two days before the wedding because members in the BP were from out of town. It worked out pretty well.
I have to say I’m a huge fan of low key girl’s weekend’s for bachelorette parties. Even more so now that I’m married. There’s nothing like relaxing time spent with a bunch of women! I’ve done them where everyone travels somewhere like NYC. I’ve flown to L.A. for a trip up to wine country with a good friend that lives there (two months prior to flying out there for her wedding), and for my party we rented a lake house about an hour from where I live. Most girls were able to drive and two flew into town for it.
My feeling is that with enough notice to save/plan for a trip - most of the girls that are important to you will be willing to make the trip.
My only thought for those that plan them during the wedding week - be very organized!! As long as you don’t have a ton of last minute projects - you should be able to pull off 3/4 events in as many days.
I live in MN - welcome to the state! I can assure you however it’s not always quite this cold! Where is this wedding? I’m just wondering - I’ve lived here my whole life and curious as to where it is.
I think that it might be easier to split the celebrations/parties for several reasons.
Unless it’s really far, aka trans-atlantic, with enough notice I think most people are able to arrange time to fly in for the party then again for the wedding within few months apart. Also, a lot of people who work may not be able to take a lot of days off at once. I work at investment bank and it’s incredibly difficult for me to take the whole week off. I can take two days off here and there but I can only take one, maybe two one-week vacations per year and as you can imagine I want to spend those precious days with my own family and bf. Just something to consider when you make your decision.
Alli - We’re getting married at St. Mark’s Cathedral by Loring Park and then having the reception at The Depot. I don’t think there has ever been a Twin Cities or even a Minnesota bee before, so I was just curious to hear about another wedding there. We are planning from out of state - we live in California and my fiance is from MN - so I’m still looking for ideas for rehearsal dinner spots and a place for a brunch with my bridesmaids the day of the wedding. Oh, and someplace to get hair and make up done. So if Alli or any other Minnesota girls have suggestions, that would be so appreciated!
Gretchen - there are a lot of different choices when it comes to restaurants - but at this link (although not the longest list) gives a few good suggestions:
http://www.twincitybridal.com/experts.aspx?parent=123&category=124
Also, Minneapolis-St. Paul Magazine has a lot of really good suggestions for all sorts of things, including great rehearsal dinner spots and/or brunch spots. Their website is
http://www.mspmag.com/
Maybe you’ve already checked these resources - but thought I’d like you know just in case!
Minneapolis St. Paul magazine at mspmag dot com has a lot of really great suggestions for restaurants in general, but could be an awesome resource for rehearsal dinners and/or brunch spots.
Also TwinCityBridal dot com has a lot of good suggestions - they have a list for rehearsal dinner spots specifically.
Maybe you have already found these websites in your planning - but I just thought I’d let you know just in case!
Thanks Andria!
CARIBOU COFFEE LOVE!
I am also from MN and it is so exciting to finally see us mentioned on the Bee.
Gretchen I have been to a reception at the Depot before and it is a great place!!! If I was not getting married in the burbs I wanted my reception there. Minneapolis St. Paul magazine just came out with their best of list so check it out!
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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California
Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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