Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
Hot Thread: Should I Tell?
January 3rd, 2008 @ 2:32 pm by Beehive
Hello Bees!
I am thrilled to delurk myself as i just became engaged 12/31/07::::pauses for congratulations::: LOL. Anyway, I am pretty sure you all are just the ladies to help me out. I work for a government agency and I am wondering if I should tell my boss directly that I have become engaged. I have only shared this news with a few select employees who have yet to spread the news. I hesitate bc my direct boss is male, and basically, I doubt he would care. But the director (his boss) is my former direct boss (she was promoted). Should I tell her? If I tell her, I know she will instantly want to know about when we plan to do it. My FI recently moved and is now 900 miles away so clearly I will be moving eventually too. She is very calculating and will be thinking about my replacement and all the work she will want me to complete before I leave, which i interpret as cold… .and I honestly don’t want to deal with that right now or the long list of action items she will come up with.
Do I tell just him? Just her? Or both? Do I let the bosses hear about it through the office grapevine? What do you think I should do? What did you do?
GetMarried4Less
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Please comment on this thread here.
3 Responses to “Hot Thread: Should I Tell?”
If your position is complicated and will take some time for them to find a replacement, I would let them know sooner than later. As a boss, I’ve had this happen with only 2 weeks (or less) notice before someone leaves. It is really hard for me to write a letter of recommendation or even try to help them find a job if I am kept in the dark.
That being said, I would think that it would also be best if you tell both of them at the same time (if possible) with an idea of when you are leaving.
Congratulations!! 
If you see your boss or director often throughout the week, you should definitely tell them. I personally see my manager every day and would definitely tell him, but I rarely see the senior manager, so I would just leave it up to the grapevine for her to find out
And until you have finalized moving plans, I don’t think you need to tell the director yet. If you’re not comfortable with keeping her in the dark, you can always hint the idea to her by mentioning, “Yeah, my FI lives 900 miles away, but we haven’t made any final decisions on living arrangements yet.”
Interpret as cold? I don’t understand. Your boss would be acting appropriately by wanting you to finish up your projects (and maybe train your replacement) before you left. This is pretty standard. The courteous and responsible thing to do would be to follow Meghan’s advice (especially if you want a rec).
