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I have a confession to make: I wasn’t too fond of my wedding dress. From day one I was hesitant to shop for the dress, not longing to see how I’d look in the sample that was made a few sizes smaller than I was. It was hard for me to picture how it would look on me later, when it actually zipped up. This is why I went shopping for just one day, possibly an hour (maybe less) with just my mom and I.
It could have been the cream puff I ate at Beard Papa’s beforehand, it could have just been pure hatred for having to wear a fancy dress that wouldn’t look as good on me as it would on someone smaller (all my own PERSONAL opinion), or it could have been all the people reminding me that I had to get my dress ASAP - could be any or all of these excuses that made me buy the first dress that looked okay.
I didn’t get the “this is the one!” feeling I had heard/read about. I didn’t even get the “I could totally rock this dress” feeling. No, the feeling I got was, “this one’ll do”. As sad as it is, that’s really the ONE regret I have in wedding planning. I wish I had sucked it up and gone Shopping (with a capital S) for the real dress, the one that made me feel beautiful.
I feel beautiful in jeans, in other dresses, in sweatpants, but I managed to find a dress that made me not feel pretty. Due to my dislike for the dress, I dislike looking at the pictures. I get angry with myself for not looking around more. I have no one to blame but myself- there wasn’t a price I had to meet, or a certain look I wanted but couldn’t find. No excuse other than disrespect for myself that led me to not shop around. I was so afraid of how I’d be treated, or how I’d look as a plus size bride that I used it to scare me away from finding the right dress to complement me. While the dress I DID get was a beautiful dress, with amazing beading and details, that’s all I see now- a neato dress that I never want to wear again.
All you brides out there: learn from my mistake and enjoy shopping for your dress (and no matter how bad those mirrors are, you’re beautiful no matter what)!! I really wish I had.
Awwww, Kiwi! I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I think you looked absolutely beautiful in your dress. And I am so sad for you that you feel disappointed. I can only hope that a little time and distance from the day will make you feel better, maybe in a similar way to the girls who hate their wedding photos at first, but later love them. And if in time you still feel such strong regrets, I think you should go out, buy a dress (any dress) that makes you feel *fabulous* and have some wonderful anniversary pictures take with Mr. Kiwi.
{{{{{{{{ BIG HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
Oh I can so agree with your advice. For me the worst thing I did was take my girlfriends with me before I figured out what I really wanted in a dress.
Too many cooks in the kitchen…too many opinions as you are looking is was too difficult.
Bummer you didnt love your dress but I think you looked really pretty on your wedding day!
Mrs. Kiwi, thank you for posting this. I just got engaged and and apprehensive about shopping for dresses as well, since I, too, am plus-sized.
I am sad that you feel the way you do about your dress, as I (and I’m sure everyone else) think you looked beautiful in it. I worry that I will have the same feeling, but I will use your post as a reminder to keep my head high and my hopes up, and not let my size make me settle for something less than stellar.
I feel badly that I am capitalizing (somewhat) on your negative feelings, but I sincerely thank you for posting your thoughts and making me feel like I am not alone in my feelings as I begin to dress shop.
Jenny, no need to feel bad at all!! I really want the other gals out there to know that you will be beautiful on your wedding day, if you FEEL beautiful inside.
It was stupid of me to settle for that dress: since I certainly never settled for my husband!!
So sorry about this. Hopefully in time you’ll appreciate how beautiful you really were!
Sorry to hear you feel that way 
Perhaps the best solution for now is to have some prints made of just closeups of you and Mr. Kiwi. That way you can concentrate on how happy you both look and how great your hair/makeup is rather than the dress. Maybe in a few years you’ll at least feel more neutral about the dress but for now, I’d definitely try cropping. Digitals are great for that! (Just save copies of the originals!)
Sorry to hear that Mrs. Kiwi - I think you looked great!
I have a feeling I’ll have the same thoughts about my dress when I get married. Although I’m not plus sized so I fit the dresses in bridal stores, I never got the “this is THE dress” moment that you hear about. I went to every store in our area as well as going away for a weekend to find THE dress but none seemed quite me.
On a side note, we’re shopping for FMIL’s outfit right now and she is plus sized. When we were out looking, no bridal stores had her size so she was quite discouraged. But then we found a plus sized bridal store! It’s too bad you didn’t have one in your area.
I’m having the same issue - of not liking my dress. Even though it’s beautiful, it just doesn’t seem “me”. I thought you looked lovely in your photos! I hope I don’t have the same feeling after the wedding of not enjoying our photos.
You gave some good advice. 
For the record, you totally *did* rock that dress!
Mrs. Kiwi, I might actually be in your situation, and because of that I’m sad to hear that you didn’t feel pretty in your dress because you settled, and hate looking at your pictures. I just didn’t dig the whole dress shopping experience. Mostly because I didn’t feel the dresses were complimentary to my shape (I am a 48 G up top)! I tried on enough dresses to know what worked well with my shape (a grand total of 4 and I was so done) but I still didn’t like any of them. I opted to have one made, but since it wont be ready for another month, I can’t help but feel that I should have put more effort into finding one. I love the design, but if it somehow goes terribly wrong, I know I am going to be pissed for being so lazy and easily discouraged about the fact that I didn’t want to shop around.
Kiwi: I’m sort of climbing into your same boat with you. Really not loving my dress these days. Need to come to terms with it. Though I do always have my super cheap J Crew back up…. (what a coup that would be!)
p.s. Lucy’s right: you rocked it and looked beautiful. Your discomfort in it was your secret.
i love your posts because they aren’t all roses and sunshine…you’ve really explored a lot of issues that brides think about but don’t say. Do u think that maybe one of the reasons you ended up not being crazy about your dress was b/c it was uncomfortable (the rubbing) on your wedding day? Remembering that annoyance and transfering it back when you look at you in your dress?
Kind of like how a pair of uncomfortable underwear can ruin your whole day.
Posh!! The first time I saw your photos, I was thinking how beautiful you looked in your dress. It may not be “the one” but it sure looked great on ya!!
Mrs. Kiwi, in my opinion your dress was lovely but most of all it was lovely on you.
As everyone said, you looked fab in the “not one”, but I totally get your disappointment.
Would it make you feel better to do a “trash the dress” shoot with it where the focus is more on having fun and the spotlight isn’t so much on the garment? You might even find a cheap dress on ebay to do it in, if you were afraid of risking sore underarms again.
i totally know how you feel! i cringe every time i see my dress in my pictures. i thought i loved it when i bought it, but really i hate it. i only went to one bridal salon - and a tiny one at that. i should have shopped more, too!
i share in your regret! but the strange thing is, everyone thought the dress was so “me” and “beautiful.” if all these people thought you looked lovely in your dress, i’m sure you definitely did! (sorry, haven’t seen your dress yet!). we’re just doing the silly 20/20 hindsight thing. (i still wish i had bought a different dress, though. hehe….AGH!!!!)
we’ll just have to demand another wedding from our husbands in 10 years so we can take another stab at it. =)
I think the thing to remember and to take away is that you didn’t settle for Mr. Kiwi, and that YOU were the star of the day, not the dress.
What’s important is that the two of you are happily married. Everything else is just icing on the cake.
BIG HUGS, MRS. KIWI!
I feel your pain, as a “plus size bride” (who are they kidding? I am FAT!) I have spent the past eleven months trying on dress after dress.
I finally picked a dress, this week, two months before my wedding day. A dress picked because, one, it will do and two, I can’t show up to my wedding in jeans and a t shirt.
It is my opinion that I just don’t look good in fancy dress. Fancy dress was meant for the normal size ladies, not the fat ones like me.
(Granted, I didn’t catch a shot of you in your wedding dress, but I am certain you looked beautiful in it.)
I’m just sucking it up. No one made me fat. It is my own damn fault that I will be a fat bride and this is the punishment I deserve for not having enough will power to stop eating and get fit.
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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