Ordained Ministers

January 7th, 2008 @ 12:24 pm by Mrs. Penguin

When we began planning the wedding, I was positive that we would hire an officiant, simply because it was one less thing we would have to worry about for the wedding. But a 16 month engagement gave us LOTS of time to change our mind. When I began searching for officiants, I began to worry about having a perfect stranger presiding over such an intimate part of our lives. My MOH’s mother graciously volunteered to marry us, which relieved the “stranger stress,” but provided us with a new set of challenges…how do we make it legal?

The first step to take when asking a friend or family member to preside over your wedding is to call your local county clerk and ask them if they recognize weddings presided over by online ordained ministers as legal. Also ask if there is any paperwork you need to file, as well as how soon before or after your wedding the paperwork needs to be filed with the county. Some states, such as Connecticut, Alabama, Virginia and Tennessee, DO NOT recognize, under any circumstances, online ordained ministers, and performing a wedding in such states could result in fines (not to mention the fact that your marriage is not legal). There are specific districts and/or counties outside of these four states that also do not recognize online ordinations, so PLEASE call your local county clerk before proceeding!

Second, visit an online ordainment website, such as the Universal Life Church website. The ULC permits anyone to become a minister, no questions asked. Becoming ordained is as simple as filling out a form online. The ULC website also lists specific state-by-state marriage laws that you should read carefully, but again, checking with your local county clerk should clear up any legal questions you might have.

Once you’ve done all this, remember that it’s completely up to you and your ordained officiant to write your ceremony, and if you don’t have a coordinator or DOC, he or she might be the best person to conduct your rehearsal.

Have you had any experience with ordaining friends or family?

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12 Responses to “Ordained Ministers”

Guest

tanya2s

Aside from getting someone ordained online, I know that at least in CA you can just have someone be deputized by the state. They just fill out a form, pay a fee, and presto– they’re allowed to perform marriage ceremonies anywhere in the state of CA for a limited time, just as a judge or county clerk would be able to. That’s what we did, and it was really easy.

1/7/08 @ 12:27 pm (reply)

Guest

A co-worker of mine was married by a friend, and rather than deal with any red tape or hassle, they just went to city hall the day before their wedding and were legally married there by a judge. It really worked out for them - they didn’t have to worry about doing anything wrong and accidentally not being legally married, no additional paperwork to file, etc.

1/7/08 @ 12:28 pm (reply)

Member

Red (message) 120 posts, Blushing bee

It’s easy just like Tanya2s says above. I live in Davis and we just had our friend go to the county courthouse and fill out paperwork. It’s a $50 fee and just like that, he’s was able to perform our marriage ceremony. Highly recommended.

1/7/08 @ 12:45 pm (reply)

Guest

mrsmahoney

One of my BMs became ordained so that she could marry her sister. How cool is that?! I would have definitely considered doing this if we did not get married in DHs Catholic church.

1/7/08 @ 4:34 pm (reply)

Guest

fizzyg

Florida allows a notary public to perform weddings.

1/7/08 @ 5:20 pm (reply)

Guest

dmac

Massachusetts has something similar to California. We also didn’t want some random to marry us and we asked my husband’s best friend (the person who introduced us to each other) to perform the ceremony. We had to fill out paper work in advance with a $25 check. The governor signs off and you just send the certificate with your marriage license at the end. Easy and very personal. We wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

1/7/08 @ 5:42 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Corn (message) 1,010 posts, Bumble bee

Fortunately my sister is an ordained Presbyterian Minister…of course that took 3 years at Princeton Theological Seminary, a round of Ordination exams and a call

Looks like the ULC is the way to go

1/7/08 @ 7:18 pm (reply)

Guest

Joyful2

Counting only grandparents, uncles, and cousins, between my and FI’s families there are 13 pastors and one pastor-in-training (FI). For us the hard decision is figuring out who we want to be a part of the ceremony.

1/7/08 @ 9:13 pm (reply)

Guest

lpstl

I’m curious where you found information stating that Tennessee will not recognize those who are ordained online. There is no mention of this exception in any state law that I can find.

6/20/08 @ 12:12 am (reply)

10.

Bee

Mrs. Penguin (message) 2,148 posts, Buzzing bee

@lpstl: A back issue of Martha Stewart Weddings (I think it was a winter 2008 issue) covered online ordination issues. She listed Tennessee as one of the states that does not recognize online ordination, however, a simple call to your County Office would probably be the best resource as to whether or not its legal. As with you, I did a little snooping with Tennessee laws and did not find any mention of online ordination not being recognized so there is definitely a chance that they DO recognizes it.

http://tennessee.gov/tccy/tnchild/36/36-3-301.htm

Hope that helps!

6/20/08 @ 9:35 am (reply)

11.

Guest

Reverend

Here’s the legal problem with having your best friend, uncle or brother perform the wedding ceremony:

Even though couples are filled with excitement at the time of their marriage, in years to come, situations of an ugly nature may arise….divorce, death, ownership problems, etc. The main purpose of the officiant is to act as an independent witness to the marriage ceremony. A copy of the marriage license is kept and maintained by them; so they can verify, without a doubt, the wedding between the two parties indeed took place on a specific date and in a specific place.

This lessens the chance of a family member or anyone else coming forth in the future to claim inheritance, property, custody rights or anything else on the basis that the wedding was not performed legally. In other words, if I were being married, I certainly would not want the groom’s brother, father, uncle or any of his family members officiating the ceremony. If there were arguments in the future, they would probably take sides with the groom…perhaps even saying the wedding did not take place.

6/27/08 @ 2:04 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

Shane

CA, ULC works…100% Los ANgeles County you can marry, the trick is filling out the marriage license Good luck with that! But your marriage is legal in CA if ordained on-line through the ULC…trust me just did it!!!

3/31/09 @ 3:14 pm (reply)