Weddingbee

“’Ello everyone! We’re the Lovebugs’ cake topper, and we’d like to tell you the story of our arrival! Pip, pip! Birdie love, would you like to start?”

“Oooh, yes, Mr. Bird! Well, it was all very exciting. We could ’ear the muffled sound of Miss L fumbling around with our package, cursing a bit. Then Mr. L came in the room and said something about Miss L being forbidden to play with the grown-up scissors. We were quite nervous when we ’eard that!”

“Finally Mr. L got our box open, and carefully pulled us out. ‘What are we putting on the cake?’ ‘e said. ‘Tortillas?’ Ha! What a donkey, eh Birdie?”

“Oohh heh heh! Donkey indeed, Mr. Bird. Well, Miss L gently unwrapped us, which was a good thing. Bloody hot in there, I say! Then Mr. L went to pick us up, but got a sound smack on ’is wrist from Miss L. ‘Wash your hands first!’ she shouted. I thought they was going to ‘ave a proper row, wot wif all the yellin’!”

“Quite right, my love! After a thorough (and rather invasive, I might add) inspection of our many parts, Miss L promptly sat down to write Carrin of Rain’s End a note to say thanks for making us so lovely! Anyway, that’s our story! We’re quite glad to be settling in with the Lovebugs, even if there’s no bugs to be ’ad ’round here, after all. Cheers!”

Miss Lovebug would like to apologize in advance for her utterly offensive, stereotyped portrayal of the English. She knows it was in ’orrible taste and ’opes you forgive ’er.

• I’m Baaaaaaaaack!
• Letter Perfect