Mrs. Licorice, Atlanta
Age and Occupation: 25, Full-time Interior Design Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Pilot
Engagement Date: February 6, 2006
Wedding Date: September 1, 2007
Blogging Since: July 18, 2007
Venue: John Oliver Michael, a historic farm house and barn replica
About Me: I love artistic pursuits of all sorts! I'm creative and organized, but my downfall is obsessing over details. I enjoy running outdoors, trying new restaurants, and staring at décor and wedding magazines for hours on end. I hope to one day design a hotel in a foreign country, preferably France, Greece, Japan, or Australia. I am elated to marry Mr. Licorice and experience life’s adventures with him!
The One About My Mother
January 17th, 2008 @ 8:33 am by Mrs. Licorice
You may or may not have noticed that I have completely failed to mention my mother in any of my posts. When I was 18, she passed away. As selfish as this may seem, during the entire planning process, I ached to have my mom guide me and share my excitement. I didn’t let the wise women figures in my life assist too much with the wedding; I was paranoid they were helping out of pity, and to be honest, it just wasn’t the same. My friends kept telling me that she was there with me, but I couldn’t help but feel alone.
I didn’t want to honor her in a blaring way for fear of upsetting my guests. (Her death was very unexpected and tragic.) In my bag, I kept a handkerchief with my wedding date embroidered on it. I chose the date and the color green because they are both significant to my mother. I also carried a piece of her jewelry, an ostentatious charm ring that she loved. I could have picked a quieter piece, but this one reminded me of her sense of humor and her old-school style!
The morning of the wedding was full of doom and gloom; the sky was gray, and it had rained the entire evening prior. During the rehearsal, I had resigned myself to an indoor ceremony. While my sister was doing my makeup, we started reminiscing about our childhood and our mother. The second my sister utters the statement, “Mom is here with us right now,” the sun suddenly bursts from behind the clouds, and the weather turns into a complete dream. My guests, who had come from all directions, told me that it was raining outside of Statham (where the wedding was held.) Whether this seems silly or not, I believe that this was my mom’s way of showing her support.
33 Responses to “The One About My Mother”
that’s beautiful. Your mother must be awfully proud of you.
That’s so beautiful…I have tears in my eyes. Congratulations on your wedding!
It is not silly at all. She was smiling down on you with the sun.
Beautiful post, thank you for sharing with us.
such an emotional post…..i’m all welled up.
Thank you for being brave and sharing with us.
So I am seriously crying right now. I am sorry your mom couldn’t be there physically but she sure was in spirit!
i’m definitely sure that was your mom’s doing.. she was definitely there in spirit helping wherever she could..
TOTALLY misty-eyed right now… That is so beautiful!
Thats beautiful. My mom passed away about 3 years ago, I also feel like I’m alone in this planning process. It’s neat to think she’ll be there that day, in one way or another. Thanks for sharing this:-)
Mrs. Licorice,
My mom passed away in April of 2007. I got engaged the following July and will have my wedding this October. I have been the same and have not let anyone in on the planning process. I shopped for my dress alone, and I bought it alone. I watched other girls with their moms and aunts and grandmothers…and it was and is not easy. However, I knew she was with me. Her favorite color was purple. There was one dress I wanted and I had to drive an hour to get to the one bridal shop that had it within 100 miles. I parked and walked up to the building..and the front door was bright purple. I mean of all things…And I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who’s mother is sharing this experience with her daughter in such a special and spiritual way.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad she had a way of shining through to let you know she was there for you.
If I could share my story with you, I would appreciate just the chance to write it. Sometimes it’s easier to tell people you don’t know…
My new husband and I had a child together before we were married. She was the light of our life as you can imagine. She passed away of SIDS at 4 months and 15 days old.
The tradegy in our relationship does not end there. My husband unexpectantly lost his father 14 months after our daughter. Needless to say we have made it throught the hardest situations, at least that is what everyone tells us.
To honor thier passing in our ceremony, we decided to have a butterfly release. When you get the butterflies they are “asleep”, meaning their body temperature has been lowered with an ice pack so they are dormant. The directions say to put them in thier decorative box, remove the cold pack and let them warm up for about an hour before the ceremony. We followed the instructions, well our wedding planner did.
During the ceremony, we went to open the box while a song from Forest Gump (the music that plays when the feather is floating at the end) and the butterflies did not fly out. My husband started to shake the box to make them leave. For some reason I put my finger in the box and a butterfly climbed onto my finger. I whispered to him to do the same. We each had a burtterfly on our fingertips for 30 seconds. Both of our special people stayed just long enough to make us feel at peace.
The pictures are fantastic and that memory alone made our wedding the blessing that it is!
That’s not silly at all, it’s beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
(I too have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat as I write this.)
Mrs Licorice and all of you that have experienced such great loss, thank you for sharing your stories and helping to remind us that the people we love are with us always, even when their physical bodies are gone.
beautiful. 
I have tears in my eyes too. Beautiful post- thank you so much for sharing.
I, too, lost my mother when I was 18 and it’s difficult to be wedding planning without her. I’ll remember your lesson and know that she’ll be with me in spirit.
I am all teary now. My grandma passed away in March, and her presence will very much be missed at my wedding in Sept.
I’m glad you got to feel your mother’s presence supporting you. You did some very nice things to honor her.
Thank for sharing this. My mother is unable to assist me in the wedding planning due to her illness and it makes it difficult for not to have her around. Thank you for reminding me that there are others in this situtation.
Thanks for sharing this. My father passed away about 18 monts ago; knowing that he won’t be there on my wedding day has been very difficult for me. It helps to hear stories like this.
These have all been beautiful stories shared here. After experiencing loss like this, I feel we can appreciate love and the present moment even more. My own precious mother passed away unexpectedly just two months ago. Every day is a struggle and the wedding planning process feels very lonely without her opinions. I know she’ll be with me on my wedding day, and I believe it will be a perfect, sunny summer day thanks to her.
My mother, too, passed away. Thank you for sharing your experience, as evidently it’s shared by many of us. Please know you weren’t alone through the planning process and your wedding day; not only was your mother there in spirit, but daughters who also lost our mothers were with you as well, whether any of us knew it or not.
What a great story. Oh, and this is me, again, reiterating that I love your photographer.
Thanks so much for all the comments, especially the ladies who had stories to share. I was brought to tears reading them. I was very nervous about posting this, but y’all definitely made me feel it was worth it!
i’m still choked up… such a moving story.
Add me to the list of misty-eyed readers, and thank you for sharing this. It is surprisingly comforting to know that there are other brides out there for whom the day is just a little bittersweet.
My husband’s mother passed away unexpectedly the week before we were supposed to get married out-of-state. We cancelled the big wedding, but ended up having an impromtu ceremony and reception. It was only a few days after the funeral and I was really afraid that the day would be marred by grief. In fact, I wasn’t really sure that anyone other than the two of us would want to attend. But when the day came, the weather was stunning and I was overwhelmed by the love and support of the many friends and family members who went out of their way to attend at the last minute. And there were a few bittersweet moments, but overall it was still the happiest day of my life.
We are planning a vow renewal and reception for this spring, so that we can have the “big wedding” we had planned. DH has now lost both of his parents (almost exactly 4 years apart) and I lost my father tragically 3.5 years ago. We are planning a few ways to remember them on that day, and I know there will be sad moments, but I am also looking forward to celebrating our marriage, and I will know that they are with us in spirit.
You know what?
I believe it too!
I just had to post again to ask if any of you lovely people have ideas on how to honor at a wedding someone so special who has passed? Is dedicating the wedding mass appropriate? I think I want something more than a candle lit in her honor, since she is my mom, but I can’t think of anything.
thanks..LMB
Thanks so much for sharing this story with us…. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have lost your mother, but you honored her in a lovely, subtle way on your wedding day and I’m so glad that you felt her presence there with you.
