Wedding Blog
Yesterday Always a Blogsmaid mentioned an Oprah show about the Lovings, a Virginia couple who challenged this country’s anti-miscegenation laws (laws against people of different races marrying) in the 1960s. The Lovings married in Washington, DC but were arrested on their return to Virginia, where “race mixing” was still illegal. Their case went all the way to the Supreme Court, and in 1967 the Court overturned all states’ remaining anti-miscegenation laws as inconsistent with the protections of the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution.
(photo from Amazon)
Coincidentally, this issue has been on my mind recently — ever since I watched the 1967 movie Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, about a white woman and black man who seek their parents’ permission to be married. At one point in the movie, Sydney Poitier’s father tells him “In 16 or 17 states you’ll be breaking the law. You’ll be criminals.” By the time the movie came out, the Supreme Court’s Loving decision had come down and the statement was no longer true. But still, it made me wonder.
You see, Mr. T and I happen to be of different races. My grandmother/great-grandparents came here from Germany and Scandinavia, while his parents are from Taiwan. And when I looked into anti-miscegenation laws after watching the movie, I discovered that our planned Virginia nuptials would have been illegal up until 1967. (To put that date into perspective, it’s the year my parents got married!) And the law wasn’t an ancient remnant of slavery, as I originally assumed — though the first Virginia anti-miscegenation laws did date back to 1661, they were specifically amended in 1924 to include “all non-whites” such as Asians and American Indians.
Mr. T and I are incredibly alike. We’re one of those annoying couples whose brains work so similarly that we often say the exact same thing at the exact same time. But because our forebears came from different places in the world, just one generation ago our marriage could have landed us in jail.
I don’t even know what to say to that, except “Whoa.” Just, whoa.
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What a great post– thank you so much for writing this! I’m a civil rights lawyer, so these types of issuse are close to my heart. I definitely echo your feelings of shock that interracial marriages were illegal not that long ago. I’m so, so glad that’s no longer the case and people of all races can marry based on their love for each other alone.
That is scary huh, Miss Tulip! Well, I”m glad that’s not the case now because Mr. C and I wouldn’t be allowed to get married either. I think the world is going to be so amazing one day when people will be made up of so many races that you can’t be racist anymore.
Man that really puts it into perspective, especially as a fellow bride who is marrying outside her race. I have to say, we still get some negative reactions from people sometimes, but you learn to ignore it. Once people see how you feel about each other and how well you get along, none of that matters.
I don’t know what’s scarier: the fact that these laws existed or that they were so recent.
Yeah, thanks for posting this Miss Tulip! I too married outside my race but it’s funny because more often than not I actually forget that that’s true since we’re so similar in so many different respects that it’s just entirely irrelevant. So it is good to have a reminder that we are lucky to be in love in an age when it CAN be irrelevant!
I just wanted to say great post. It’s scary to realize just how recently those laws were on the books. I love that the case is called Loving v. Virginia - it’s the most appropriate case name ever. Oh, and “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” is a great movie - Spencer Tracy’s speech at the end is awesome!
Excellent post! This brought to mind my beautiful bi-racial baby cousins (ages 5 and 1). My mom’s been known to say, “they’re so cute, it should be illegal…” But we’re all very happy that it’s not!
I’m in a similar situation as yourself (I’m Vietnamese, my FH is German-American) and it’s scary to think that people in our situation couldn’t have gotten married just a few decades ago. We look back at the 50s and 60s and think, “Wow, really? People couldn’t marry each other based on their ethnicity?”
I think the same thing will be happening with our kids or grandkids in 50 years when it comes to same-sex marriage.
I remember being horrified in 2000, when I heard from a friend living there that Alabama had FINALLY removed the defunct law from their books– and it took a ballot referendum to do it!
I checked Wikipedia and found out this:
“… it took South Carolina until 1998 and Alabama until 2000 to officially remove defunct anti-miscegenation laws from their law books. In the respective referendums, 62% of voters in South Carolina and 59% of voters in Alabama voted to remove these laws.”
Like Miss Tulip said “Whoa.”
Again from Wikipedia: “… compared with many other mammalian species, humans are genetically less diverse… For example, 2 randomly chosen humans differ at ~1 in 1,000 nucleotide pairs, whereas two chimpanzees differ at ~1 in 500 nucleotide pairs.”
I hope that when my little godchild (who turns one tomorrow!) is my age, the world will have embraced the fact that skin color and eye shape really isn’t any more relevant than “favorite book” or “happiest memory” in revealing who a person is. Alabama voted to remove these laws.
Wow. I’m in the same boat, Ms. Tulip. I’m of French/Dutch background and fiance is Taiwanese.
11 years before I was born, my parents could not have married legally based solely on ethnicity/race. Puts it into perspective.
I remember my FI Grandmother saying “You don’t sound black on the phone.” I’ve heard worse, so I didn’t blink. Kill them with kindness! I just hugged her tight. They thought it was a phase that he would “grow out of”. It caused some tension at first, but they’re over it. Most people just need a little exposure.
Excellent post!
and their motto is now….”Virginia is for lovers”!
HOW IRONIC?
not sure how “Alabama voted to remove these laws.” appeared at the end of my post…. odd.
1967…and then 11 years later my parents met and married. as a biracial person, i’ve been happily aware of the loving decision but that’s only because of my own random research [i did a speech on perceived pscyhological differences between monoraced kids and interracial kids - you would not believe some of the stuff they said. as a mixed kid, i was HEATED]. anywho, i’m still sad to know that there are still people who are venomately against interracial dating/marriage to this day. but you know, one day at a time. yay for the lovings!
good point.
Loving vs. alabama is acutally called that because the couple that fought the law had the last name Loving. but it sure is appropriate.
I’m so happy to see your post! Thank you so much for sharing and thank you for reading our blog.
Posts like this make my heart all goopy and warm- I hope one day I can post something like this and say my marriage will be legal. I want our kids to look back and think how silly all this is and how what counts is two people who love each other. Race, gender, and religion aside…its still love. And you two are such a lovely couple(and that movie is one I have watched multiple times). Good luck!!!
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Mrs. Tulip, DC
Age and Occupation: 36, Retired
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor
Engagement Date: August 8, 2007
Wedding Date: March, 2008
Venue: Still Looking!
About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
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