Wedding Blog
I like to think I’m a pretty laid-back bride. Little bumps in the road don’t phase me. I’m also the type of bride that loves sharing my ideas about our wedding. I like talking about weddings in general. I admit I’m the type of person that can yak on and on about weddings (mine, hers, some stranger’s). It just really excites me!
Unfortunately, it’s my yapping that caused this thing to rear its ugly little head:
Oh yes, BRIDEZILLA. I had my first minor bridezilla moment.
You see, yesterday I shared some information about a vendor of mine with a fellow bride, and now I feel used and cheated. I won’t go into details about the situation because it involves a particular vendor that I now have to share - on our wedding day. Let’s just say I was angry enough to call a single male friend of mine and told him to find this girl and seduce her so that she’d call off her wedding (KIDDING… okay, actually, something along those lines DID come out of my mouth, but it was a joke… I swear!).
The normal clear-headed Miss Toucan wouldn’t find this situation to be a big deal. She’s more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person. But, yesterday’s Miss Toucan was Bridezilla Toucan. She was angry and upset. She complained to almost anyone who would listen. She was worried that the vendor’s quality would go down now that they had booked another wedding on the same day. She regretted helping this bride and answering all her questions. She was convinced her wedding was going to be ruined.
Today’s normal clear-headed Miss Toucan realizes that her wedding will still be DA BOMB (knock on wood). She still somewhat regrets sharing so much information about her vendor, but also knows that her vendor is capable of handling the work load of another wedding. The Miss Toucan of today also realizes she should stop talking in the third person… like. right. now.
Have you ever wished you never shared something about your wedding?
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Share this post: I Didn’t Even Know I Had It In Me
Yes, I know exactly how you feel! I posted on the boards previously about friends of ours using the same celebrant two weeks before our wedding (plus same dressmaker, same florist, same music set-up). We booked the celebrant last March, they booked her a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, the celebrant called us last week so cancel on us as she has been scheduled for surgery right before our wedding. She’s still doing the other wedding… My FI is fuming, I just think it’s so ironically awful it’s funny!
HAHAHA sometimes I feel like I’m being selfish by not releasing my vendor/potential info…like the other day in chat, when I found this awesome photog and people asked me who she was…I made everyone tell me their wedding dates before i made a peep, and regretted sharing the INSTANT that I did it.
I know its selfish…but…oh to be double booked by a vendor. Its poor practice on their end, but at the same time, I keep my vendors on the relative hush hush until I can make a comprehensive, glowing review of them post-wedding.
Plus, the photog I am currently booking told me she’s not going to book many more weddings this year because her calendar is so full and she doesnt want to slip in the quality of work she can provide this early in her career. So THAT means that by me revealing her to the public, even if she booked 6 more dates this year NOT on my date, she would have turned down my business! SCHNIKES!
Oh wifey. I feel ya.
Poor Touc! Who told you, the bride or the vendor?
If it was the bride and the vendor hasn’t made you aware of this, I’d be sure and call him/her and say something like, “I’m so delighted that Miss Blatant Ideastealer took my advice and booked you! However, I hadn’t realized she was getting married on the SAME DAY. I must admit I am slightly (MASSIVELY) concerned about your being double-booked so I just wanted to go over our timetable and make sure that nothing is conflicting with the timetable she wants to set up with you.”
That way the vendor knows that you were the source of the referral AND that you are likely to refer others IF he/she does a great job for you.
Hi Miss Toucan!
YES! This has happened to me before. I shared the location, date, and desired photographer to a friend at the time (who is at a much better place than me financially) and now they are having their wedding on the exact same day & location and booked the same photographer!
So that’s why I’m there with you. Don’t worry, your wedding will turn out awesome because you’re the creative one with all the good ideas.
I showed my best friend a pic of the gown I purchased…and yep you guessed it… a month later she purchased the exact same dress, same designer, same shade of ivory, everything the same! My very best friend! And she is getting married two months before me too. Ugh. I’m still very upset about it. My family keeps trying to comfort me by reminding me that she is curvier and tanner than I am, but all that does is make me feel like not only will it look like I copied her… I will also be the scrawnier, paler version of a bride in that dress. So no more sharing of any wedding ideas for me either.
Hi Miss Toucan, I’m sorry about your situation. But at least the vendor is still with you. As FI was consoling me yesterday (because I also shared wedding info with someone), the good karma will come back to you. You’re the bigger person in this case. Or as i say, no I want to be the skinner person =P
I love giving vendor suggestions to my fellow brides! Then again I don’t see the big deal about someone wearing the same dress(two of my friends wore the same Lhuillier
and both looked uniquely beautiful); the same venue (I am getting at Round Hill in Jamaica as did a good friend 3 years ago) or having the same photographer (I chose Cappy Hotchkiss, and highly recommend her–she’s at http://www.cappyhotchkiss.com) Ultimately your wedding will be unique because of the two people getting hitched and the personal vibe they bring to the day. It’s not a competition ladies!
I had those moments recently to. I got engaged before my fiancé’s sister but I’m getting married 6 months after her. I mentioned to my maid of honor and my Mother months ago that I love the idea of guests bring recipe cards to a shower and I would cherish that, especially since I LOVE to cook! My future sister-in-law who does not cook (nor does she need to, she’s marrying a chef!) wants that at hers. Now I’m worried people are going to think I copied off of her (and half her shower guests will be mine, too). Same thing about flower girl dresses, she found out that I’m renting my flower girl dress from http://www.gagas.com. The Mother of her flower girls and her junior bridesmaid did not order their dresses in time and was going to have them rent from there, too. At first, I thought “Who cares?” but then I discovered that the dress would have been the exact same dress as mine. Luckily, before she could share that info with the kids’ Mother, they already ordered other dresses. I know it’s silly for me to get upset by this but at the same time I feel like I did the research and when she copies my idea it makes me feel awkward, like I’m going to look like the bride who couldn’t come up with an original idea on her own. It wouldn’t bother me like this if I was getting married first. I decided for now on, anything that I am doing for my wedding my lips are sealed until hers is over.
Thanks ladies for your support. 
I actually really like sharing my ideas and other information that I’ve found, so it wouldn’t really bother me if people stole my ideas - I think it’s flattering, really. What bothered me is that someone took my info, and used it to book my vendor on the same day. I guess I was just upset that I have to share now.
Oh well, I’m over it now.
I know what you mean about people stealing ideas. I got engaged and then the next few girls I knew that got engaged ALL requested similar settings to my ring. It kind of hurts when people steal your thunder, but just know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you didn’t have awesome ideas, people wouldn’t try to steal them from you! In a few years, when you look back at your wedding day, you won’t remember that someone stole your ideas, just that you had some great ideas that turned out to be a beautiful start to a beautiful marriage. And, going along with what beanchar said, maybe if you mention to the vendor that you referred your friend, you might get some sort of discount or something extra thrown in?? It’s worth a shot!
i definitely see your point! I’ve been blogging and haven’t (and probably won’t) release the names of my wedding vendors until after the wedding. I’m blogging about vendors I liked but didn’t choose, but don’t want someone with more money to come along and take my vendors!
Oh, but at the same time I know there can be honest coincidences that look like ‘copying’. For a while the colors that the boy and I were doing things in are black, white, and red. I noticed on my local Knot board that there was one other girl with the same wedding date, so made mention of it to her and we’ve been chatting. THEN i saw her Knot profile and she too is using those colors, and there are a few other similar ideas (which I haven’t posted publicly, but considered). Now I fear putting up anything on my Knot profile, because what if she thinks I’m copying her? It’s stupid, I know. I don’t even know this person!
yup - its called “I am getting married this year” and the %^$#@# decides to get enaged before me and tell me about her 2.5 K ring. yup - been there and it sucks.
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Mrs. Toucan, Boston
Age and Occupation: 25, Full-time Research Assistant, Part-time Graduate Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Actuary
Engagement Date: February 18, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: November 07, 2007
Venue: St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant
About Me: I’m a Gemini to the extreme. On one side, I’m a girly girl. I read countless bridal and fashion magazines, and have an obsession with keeping up with the latest Hollywood gossip. On the other side, I’m a sports fanatic. Despite being a full-time bride-to be, full-time research assistant, and part-time student, I’m also a full-time Red Sox fan from spring training to October, and a full-time Patriots fan from mini-camp to February. I devote almost as much time researching my for fantasy football team as researching for our wedding!
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