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Happy engagement anniversary to the Penguins! Yes, one year ago today, on a stormy winter day, we got engaged on the Central Coast of California. Yippee Hooray!
It’s been a whirlwind of a year ever since, full of big decisions and LOTS of indecision, but one thing is certain: OUR ENGAGEMENT IS TOO LONG. We were hasty to set a date - June 2008 - 16 months after our engagement. What the hell were we thinking? Everything about a long engagement is agony. Having to utter the word “Fiance” for 16 months straight makes me really uncomfortable. It feels like one of those snobby words that people like to use when they’re holding their goblet of Chimay Blue with their pinky sticking out. Have we no common redneck word for “Fiance”? Husband-to-be works in a pinch, but there are so many damn syllables in there that people have long stopped paying attention when I introduce Mr. Pengy as my “husband-to-be.” I’m over it. Lets just be married already.
I’ve second guessed every decision we’ve made about the wedding. Mostly because I have PLENTY of time to. I fired our photographer, hired a new photographer, reprinted our invitations 3 times, changed my mind on centerpieces about 16 times, bought countless numbers of glass pieces that I may or may not use for our reception, and started about 18 DIY projects that probably won’t make their way into our wedding.
Restraint, how I mock thee.
I sometimes wonder what our wedding would have been like if we had set our wedding date for eight months after our engagement. Wonderful, I’m sure. Although I relish in the planning process, I often think about all this creative power that I’m using/wasting on planning this one big day. I eat, sleep, and breathe our wedding. I refuse to think of anything else until I’m sitting in the sand, drink in hand, on our Honeymoon.
I’ve got 2.3 billion decisions to be second guessed and four more months to go.
How long is/was your engagment? Would you have done a lot different in a shorter amount of time?
15 months, and I feel your pain. It’s a blessing and a curse to have a long engagement.
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I HATE having a long engagement! We are getting married in June also and by that time we will have been engaged for 27 months! way way way too long. We had to wait so long because we were both still in school when he proposed…. For a while after we got engaged I just called my FI my boyfriend because saying he was my fiance sounded stuck-up to me, like I was trying to prove how much more special and serious our relationship was or something. And no one really took our engagement seriously. Its only been recently that people have started making comments like, “are you excited?” “have you gotten much planning done?”… I really just hate all this waiting and…even though its not very long…4 months still seems like FOREVER!
22 months. We’re 6 months in and haven’t done any planning so far. FI has been long-distance but is moving back in about 6 weeks, which part of our reason for delaying the ceremony. So far, it’s been perfect for us. It has been frustrating not to be able to make any actually plans, though.
over a year and a half (19 months), and i’m right there with you - it’s waaay too long. i would have eloped the next day if if it had been completely up to me, but circumstances got in the way and our year engagement turned into 19 freakin’ months! the only positive - we’re on a super tight budget, so it’s given us a lot more room to shop around for the best deals on all of our vendors and supplies. only 5 months to go now!
One year minus one day….I think it will be just about right…we have a little less than 5 months to go.
a little shy of 24 months here, so i understand. we were engaged 3.31.07 and the big day isn’t until 3.14.09 but it is nice to sort of take your time and really plan things out vs. feeling rushed. we are a little over 13 months out….just thirteen more to go. i know this will go fast.
Hi Pengy,
24 months here and yes, I’ve second guessed EVERYTHING too and ended up being a two dress bride! GAH!
I’m in a planning lull and haven’t done anything in months and need to get my butt in gear again! However, we were able to save a good chunk of money over the last year and a half. 6 more months to go and I CANNOT WAIT!
Hahaha. I always feel a bit bougie saying “fiance”, too. But I guess I’m weird in that I would have wanted a longer engagement (ours is a little over a year). We were only dating for a year when he proposed. I guess I just wouldn’t mind more time? Sometimes it feels a tiny bit soon.
I totally understand about second guessing though. It’s like when you’re ready to go out, and you’re just standing around bored, so you end up changing outfits eight times.
Only, with slightly higher stakes.
Congratulations on yer anniversary!
Ours will be a 9 month engagement. People kept telling us its not long enough. I say if you can bake a baby, you can plan a wedding. It puts things into perspective. Its a party. Its one day. I’m looking forward to our 50th anniversary. We will be just as married at the end of the day. With or Without my beloved photobooth.
Nine months. Which is, as far as I can tell, exactly enough time and no more. If my mom hadn’t been through this just four years ago with my sister, and I didn’t have lots of great advice IMMEDIATELY after the engagement from both of them, I would never have figured anything out in time. We had multiple people try to book our venue and photographer just days after we gave them our deposits. I started looking at invitations in December and now have to mail STDs in the next two weeks. I started looking at dresses about the same time and luckily ordered mine Friday - the ship date is 4/25 - comfortable for our 7/12 date, but thank heavens I found a dress so easily. Of course, things are complicated by the fact that we live in a relatively small town (almost three hours from Nordstrom!!!) I think I would have given myself a year if I had known what I was getting into.
By the time we get married, FH and I will have been engaged for 23 months and 2 weeks or so… we wanted time to save up/space out payments and now I’m pulling my hair out because I just want to be married already!!!!! *sigh* and of course, no I’m starting to second guess EVERYTHING I have bought (OK, only really my gown/veil/tiara) so far =(
I also feel your pain! Our engagement will be 21 months long. We’re just 5 months into our engagement and I’ve already booked the venues, caterer, DJ, photographer, and I’ve found my dream dress! I thought that wedding planning would take so much of my time that I didn’t want to do it while I am still in school (graduating with my MSW in May!) Looking back, I realize that I definitely could have handled school and wedding planning. Like you, I’ve been changing my mind like crazy over the small details - flowers, colors, style, favors, etc! I just keep telling myself that by the time I make those final decisions I will know that I *truly* want. Hang in there and good luck!
Our one year proposal anniversary was yesterday — we celebrated by picking our our engagement rings and meeting with our travel agent to finalize our honeymoon plans. We’re getting married in May — and it is way too long. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any other options based around my fiance’s medical school requirements — the only way we could guarantee he would have time off was to plan it after his graduation, so we’re getting married exactly one week after he graduates. I wish we could have done a shorter engagement (I think 1 year would be perfect), but the only way to do that would have been for him to wait to propose until May, and he was just ready to go ahead and do it.
Our engagement will be 21 months. I have absolutely everything I could possibly book booked and now I am just hanging out… waiting… Every time there is a sunny Saturday I think “today could have been the day!” We picked it because we had a lot up in the air when we got engaged (Mr. P’s company being sold, chance of moving, both applying to grad schools, blah blah) and now that everything went very smoothly I’m just killing time. I keep checking ticket prices to Vegas. If we go there for fun before September, I’m going to get him drunk and drag him to a chapel (just kidding… kinda).
Happy Anniversary! You are just that much closer… 
I totally feel you! We got engaged last March and we’re getting married in June— it feels like we’ve been engaged forever!!! It’s especially bad because I’m the type to overanalyze and second guess everything, so I’ve had way too much time on my hands. It’s coming up soon though!
Happy anniversary
Our engagement will be a little over 14 months, which is the perfect amount of time for us. It gives us more time to save up money (we’re paying for most of it ourselves), take our time researching vendors and venues, and allow me to focus on school (I’m finishing the last two semesters of my credential program). I guess we could’ve moved up the date by a couple of months, but I’d rather have a March wedding than a January or February one.
We dated for over 9 years before we got engaged, so maybe that’s why 14 months doesn’t seem so long.
Our engagement was 6 months. Because of a bunch of scheduling issues it was either June 07, a winter wedding, or a year and a half engagement. I always wanted a summer wedding, and ended up choosing the 6 month engagement over a year and a half one. I was somewhat worried that it would be too short but it ended up being just right for us. We are notoriously bad at making decisions… (example: today we spent 3 hours at Best Buy debating whether to buy a new computer since we have $400 in gift cards. We left because we needed more time to think about it. LOL) Because we were a bit crunched for time, we were forced to choose things. And you know what… everything turned out great!
When it comes down to the end though, you will probably be less stressed than we were… in any case I’m sure it will be a great wedding. Happy engagement anniversary
ours is going to be 10 months. i don’t understand why people keep saying “why so short?” why not?? i agree with suzanno — just enough time to still be able to find awesome vendors yet not so long that i drive myself nuts.
Miss Penguin, I could’ve written the same post. Sub 15 months for 16, and venue firing for photographer.
In the end, it’ll be fine, but I’ve wished so many times we’d gone for a shorter engagement - enough time to get things done, but no time to rethink every single detail!
33 months!
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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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